Argh.

[rivka]

I just made my calls for the church survey and canvass. Three messages on answering machines and a very stressful conversation with an acquaintance of mine.

She's a new mother who just moved house and combined households with her partner and hasn't had the time to come to church for a couple months now. She didn't want to meet in person - not at her house, not in a public place. She didn't have time to talk on the phone now, and she didn't want to set up a time for me to call her back when she might have time to talk because she didn't know when that might be. She wanted to get me off the phone as soon as possible. She apologized for it, but didn't particularly try to hide it. Her bottom line: she loves the church, but she just can't do anything about it right now.

All of this was perfectly her right, of course, and very reasonable considering the state of her life right now. I don't blame her a bit. It is a horrible imposition to push into people's busy lives like this. And no matter what I say about wanting people's input about the future of the church, I can't fool them into thinking that it's not - at heart - about asking them for money.

I don't know how I'm going to do this with three more people.

Comments

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Ow. Ow. That's *really* hard... personally, I have trouble asking someone out to lunch, let alone asking for money. All I can say is that in your situation, I'd skip the census and survey and go for the concrete "Our roof leaks, our building is falling apart, and we're going to have to let the part-time youth group leader go unless we can increase our total pledges for next year by X%. Can you help out?"

[melebeth]

*offers a hug of support* I wish you the best on your venture. It sounds like a terribly unpleasant task. But if you're a member of the church I think you probably are from your previous post (the one on the corner of Charles and something in Mount Vernon that always has the pride flag out and where my choral group once sang) it's a beacon and worth fighting for. Even if the fighting is icky and unpleasant. Which asking for money always is.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Ow. Ow. That's *really* hard... personally, I have trouble asking someone out to lunch, let alone asking for money.

Yeah, this is really a socially anxious person's nightmare. I'm not consistently socially anxious - some social interactions are easy for me, others are really hard - and this could've been one of the things that went either way. Now I'm feeling pretty desperate about my remaining calls - although it helps somewhat that curiousangel just made his and most people were perfectly willing to meet with him. So I figure that if people are generally nice to him, it's reasonable to anticipate that they'll be generally nice to me. Right?

All I can say is that in your situation, I'd skip the census and survey and go for the concrete "Our roof leaks, our building is falling apart, and we're going to have to let the part-time youth group leader go unless we can increase our total pledges for next year by X%. Can you help out?"

Because it would be easier to keep the interaction short and be very businesslike? I dunno. It does minimize the opportunity for rejection, but the parts about people's budget preferences and concerns are important. Argh.

[redbird]

Whose idea was it for you--or anyone at the church--to put a new mother who's just moved in with her partner and hasn't had time to come to church in a couple of months on the list at all? What she needs is someone from the church to call and offer her babysitting or a casserole.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

I've got to say that I just *couldn't* do this, not at all, and I greatly admire you for your attempts.

-J

[rivka.livejournal.com]

That's the one, and it is a great place. Were you with the New Wave singers?

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

FWIW, as a board member of the church, and someone working on streamlining the church's administrative functions, I'm equally concerned with all three legs of what we're asking people about. We've got to make some cuts and get more volunteers, so I want to know what they can pledge to help out, what they think is workable for cutting (how much and where), and how much time they can volunteer and what tasks they'd like to do.

I have great faith in our fellow churchmembers helping out as best they can, if they only know what is being asked of them. It's true that M. is not really in a great place to increase any commitments, and that's totally understandable; what I want to know is what she thinks we need to put our limited resources toward. Do we need to improve the Religious Education program, or should we work on better community outreach? Are our efforts to improve the facility appreciated? Do we need to back off any particular programs?

Yes, we're going to ask them for money. Yes, we're going to ask them for time. But... we'll take "I can't" for an answer, too.

I trust you above anyone else I know to talk to people and to find out what they think, and to communicate to them what the church is in need of. I know you're nervous about this, but you're going to do just fine.

Hm

[mamatiger.livejournal.com]

Aren't your fellow church members mostly all there out of choice? I mean, they aren't just showing up on Sundays because going to church is what you do on Sundays? So if you think in those terms, that they're there because of an active feeling that it's a good place to be, then it's easy (for me at any rate) to connect that with a feeling of taking it for granted that of course they'd want to help out if they possibly could. They aren't dummies, they know it takes money to run a church, even if they're a bit reticient to bring it up, so it's not like you're springing something out of the blue on them.

Don't be ashamed or embarrassed at working to support something good you believe in. If you're candid and honest and forthright and businesslike -- and dedicated -- all of which you are, btw -- that will come through to the people you're discussing this with, and hopefully your attitude will be infectious. Lead by example.

Do y'all practice any of the usual methods for churches to raise money? Bake sales, ice cream socials, bingo, charity auctions and so forth? Passing the plate? Pledge envelopes? Perhaps that could be one of the questions on your survey -- "The church needs XX$ per year to function [optional financial breakdown here]. How do you think we can best meet that fund-raising goal?" [list of ideas here, w/optional write in comments]

[melebeth]

Canticle Singers. They sang there once a few christmases ago - when I had bronchitis and couldn't make a peep. At least I think they sang there - they may have been singing outside for a tree lighting... not being able to sing that night is what dominates my memory rather than my landmarks.

Re: Hm

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Do y'all practice any of the usual methods for churches to raise money? Bake sales, ice cream socials, bingo, charity auctions and so forth? Passing the plate? Pledge envelopes? Perhaps that could be one of the questions on your survey -- "The church needs XX$ per year to function [optional financial breakdown here]. How do you think we can best meet that fund-raising goal?"

We do a lot of fundraisers, yeah - an auction, a cabaret evening, benefit concerts, selling coffee and doughnuts on Sunday mornings, even collecting and recycling aluminum cans. And we pass the plate every Sunday. But it's hard to establish a budget without knowing what our income will be - that's why we ask people to pledge.

Aren't your fellow church members mostly all there out of choice? I mean, they aren't just showing up on Sundays because going to church is what you do on Sundays?

Hee! No, you're right, Unitarians probably aren't just going to church because it's What You Do.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I trust you above anyone else I know to talk to people and to find out what they think, and to communicate to them what the church is in need of. I know you're nervous about this, but you're going to do just fine.

Aww. Thank you, angel. I love you too.

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

We put her on the list because we're contacting every member of the church, and we're trying to get their opinions, too. I specifically got her assigned to rivka because the new mother in question is a personal friend of ours, and we've already offered babysitting. Repeatedly... after all, it's an adorable baby, and we need the practice. :)

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

The church in C/U did a face to face fund drive a few years ago and was very helpful - people felt heard and were able to talk about little annoyances or likes that they felt didn't really matter, turned out that 80% had the same little annoyances. It is a really good way to get one-on-one info