I'm freaking out.

[rivka]

I'm sorry my LJ has been such a roller coaster of drama lately. I really am. But right now there's not much I can do about it.

My mother's in the ICU.

She went in this morning for a minor surgical procedure on her bladder - day surgery, supposedly, under local anesthetic, very low-key. They even told her she could go back to work the next day. I got e-mail from my father just before noon saying that everything had gone just fine. Mom was drinking tea and eating toast and getting ready to go home.

Then, when I got home, this e-mail from my sister Juanita: Mom had some bleeding and will be staying at the hospital over night. Dad said her situation is stable at this point. She fainted earlier but her heart is ok. She has low blood pressure from blood loss. And a message to call my sister Judy, who filled in more details. "Mom fainted" is a bit of an understatement - she collapsed as she was about to be discharged and was unconscious for three minutes. My father couldn't find a pulse. They announced a code, but according to Dad she became responsive on her own just as the room was filling up with people. She's always had borderline low blood pressure, and apparently there's some internal bleeding into the pelvis. But Judy got to talk to Mom, and said she sounded all right - she was able to have a normal conversation and recount her experiences.

Judy gave me the phone number of the hospital ICU. I called and they put me on the phone with my father. He said that my mother's surgeon was meeting with her, and had ruled out the need for another operation - he thinks the bleeding will stop, and drain, on its own. He said it was okay for my mother to have a supper tray, which means that he really doesn't think he's going to need to go back in tonight. She still has to stay overnight for observation. Dad said that Mom is okay but wants to go home. He downplayed the seriousness of what happened, calling it a "world class fainting episode" and the ICU stay as a precaution. Given that that's what a parent would say, and that he said Mom is worried about how the kids will react, I'm not particularly reassured.

I'm supposed to drive to Boston this weekend for my aunt's memorial service. I don't know if I still should, or if I should go to Elmira to be with my mother. I don't know if I should cancel my clinic tomorrow and leave for Elmira right away. My father says there's no need to come home. I don't know if I should take that at face value.

I'm trying to get hold of my sister the doctor. I've called her, but her line is busy. She might be online, but I e-mailed her asking her to call me at once and haven't gotten a response. I'm waiting for my father to call me back. I'm waiting for my sister Judy, who was on the way to the hospital when I spoke with her, to call and give me her assessment once she's seen Mom. I don't know what to do.

I want to talk to my mother.

Edited to add: Please don't call me. I want to keep the line open for family.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Holycow. :/

Good luck. I hope things turn out okay.

[geekchick]

Oh no. =/ If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Handholding, comforting thoughts, and healing vibes sent the way of you and your family. Bejeebers. Remember to take care of you, too.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Keep breathing. Heart-felt good wishes to your mom and to you.

[tikva.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You're in my thoughts. Let me know if I can do anything from here.

(and if you need a hug when you're up in Boston...)

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I've almost been there (family member in the ICU 2000 miles away), but without the added complication of a memorial service in another city. I hope all goes well and you get through this.

Good Thoughts offered for your mother's health, and for the general wellbeing of the family.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

You know, my guess is they couldn't find a pulse on account of the low blood pressure, not because her heart actually stopped. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I do have low pressure which can make it hard to find a pulse, and, as you know Bob, can lead to loss of consciousness. If the surgeon said she could have supper I'd bet she'd gonna be ok. And, of course, you know these things too, but it's your mom and you're worried.

Hugs.

MKK

[98.livejournal.com]

Wishing you clarity to make the decisions and best of luck for their outcome.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

yeeps!!

It does sound like your mom will be fine. But I'm sure you want to go there anyway!

Ideally, money and physical ability to drive for hours notwithstanding, but taking into account what can actually be done by a rich person with lots of help, within the time you can make available, what would you do?

[eeyorerin]

I hope everything turns out for the best.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

*hug* I should be out of the classroom by 8:30, if you want to call me after you know more. I won't call you since I see your added request. Know that you and your mother are in my thoughts right now.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Rivka, my prayers are with you and your family. I hope your mom is all better soon.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

It's a five-hour drive to Elmira. We can pick up and leave at a moment's notice if we have to - if things get worse enough that I'm too upset to drive, Misha will take care of everything. He's my rock to depend on.

I want to talk to her, but it helps to know that my sisters have talked to her. I expect I'll feel a zillion times better tomorrow, when I've had a chance to talk to her myself.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

:->

Are we having a meta-conversation? You didn't answer exactly the question I asked, but you did answer the question I was wondering about, which is, "what resources do you have, and do you need someone to drive you, such as me, if I can take off work, which I probably can?"

In any case, I'm willing to take some hours or days to help out, if necessary. I like long drives.

What scary!

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

The update sounds rather more reassuring, thank goodness. Hugs and goodthoughts on the way.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

i'll keep my fingers crossed for your momma.

*hug*

"n"
who knows about sick parents very well. *another hug*

[elusis.livejournal.com]

Best wishes for you and your family to get through this time safely.

Were it me, I think I would want to go be with the living rather than remembering the dead; even though the latter is important and a goodness, the former carries more weight for me personally. I don't know if that fits for you or not, though.

Re:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Well, I was thinking of going to the funeral as something to do for the bereaved - my uncle and my cousins. So both options are service to the living. But my family has worked out a good solution for all concerned - all's well.

Thanks for your good wishes.