Update on my mother.

[rivka]

I just got off the phone with my sister Debbie, who is a doctor. She was freaked out too when I told her what I knew, but then she made some excellent points:

(1) If my mother came back from the code without medical or surgical intervention, that means that her heart didn't actually stop. It was probably just that her pressure was too low for my father to palpate a pulse.
(2) If my mother is talking and making sense and sounding like herself (as my sister Judy says that she is), she's probably all right.
(3) My parents live in a small town. It's a lot easier to get put in the ICU there than it would be in a big-city hospital like the ones my sister and I work in, because the hospital usually has ICU beds available. So they tend to put people in there when the risk isn't really all that severe.
(4) My mother has no risk factors for a heart problem, except that she's overweight. No diabetes, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no smoking.

Update already: Okay, now Debbie's talked to Mom. She says that Mom sounds good - her voice is strong and she's perfectly rational, just upset about having to stay in the ICU because she thinks she won't get much rest. She's had an echocardiogram, and her heart is perfectly normal. She's had a pelvic CT scan, and the amount of bleeding isn't enough to require another operation. She probably won't need a transfusion - although her hematocrit has dropped, and will probably be even lower tomorrow because you make up blood volume before you make up blood cells, it's still within the normal range.

My father was keeping something from me, damn it. He had thought that Mom stopped breathing during the fainting episode, when he couldn't find her pulse. But the nurse who was there with him says that she never stopped breathing. Jesus, how terrifying for my father.

Debbie suggests that I wait until tomorrow to decide whether I go to Elmira or to Boston. Mom will probably be discharged tomorrow, and I'll be able to talk to her and find out whether she wants visitors. I assume that my father will stay with her, and my sisters Judy and Juanita will be in town with her, and there should probably be at least some representatives of our family at the funeral. So I'll wait and see.

Debbie didn't sound worried at all, after talking to mom and getting the additional information. I feel much better myself, although I still don't think we're out of the woods. Probably within 24 hours, we'll know one way or another whether things will get worse or better.

Also, I should say that curiousangel gets an infinite number of husband points for being calm, concerned, sensible, and supportive. It really helped to know that, whatever I needed to do, I could count on him to make it happen - on a moment's notice and without adding to my stress level. Not everyone is like that in a crisis.

therealjae also gets major points for reminding me that my adrenaline rush was not actually making me more effective at dealing with the situation, and reminding me to breathe. Deep diaphragmatic breathing exercises actually helped a lot, and I wouldn't have thought to do them on my own.

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

I am relieved at the good news about your mother, and continue to wish her and you (all) well.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I just read this post and the one prior. It sounds like your mother is doing a whole lot better, and I am glad that your mind is a little more at rest than it was earlier.

Keep us posted.

[ex-helygen254.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and good thoughts to you and your family.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that I had an episode -- which at least superficially sounds similar to your mother's -- after my accident last year, which may be comforting to you. If you want to read about it, I posted it here and if you don't want to you don't have to.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Good. Very good. I was going to write "remember to breathe," but I wasn't sure if that was welcome/relevant advice for you or not. Now that I know, I will remember, and hope that there will not be another occasion to write such again for a good long while. :]

[red-queen.livejournal.com]

*sound of fingers crossing*

Looks like you got good information. Remind your *dad* to breathe, too! I'll bet he nearly stopped...

Go whereever you need to go tomorrow. There are no wrong choices. You'll be offering love and support no matter what you do.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

You know, part of my job involves teaching people how to deal with stress - but it's sometimes hard for me to remember to do it on my own. All of this adrenaline was dumping into my system, and it was making me want to do something do something do something. I needed to be reminded that, when there's nothing to do, the important thing is to get rid of the adrenaline rush.

I was telling therealjae that it's unfair to have all this fight-or-flight energy when it serves no useful purpose. "Why can't my stress involve saber-toothed tigers, or something, where it would actually be useful to produce a flood of adrenaline?" I thought I was being very reasonable, but she seemed to think there was something unrealistic about expecting saber-toothed tigers. I don't know about that therealjae sometimes.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Remind your *dad* to breathe, too! I'll bet he nearly stopped...

Thanks. Dad seems to be holding up okay - I made sure that he'd gotten some dinner and everything, and he's been out to walk the dog, which is a good stress-reliever for him. In the moment, he claims that his medical training kicked in and he didn't panic. Afterward, though, he was awfully shaken.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Yeah... now that we don't have to outrun jaguars or whatever on a daily basis, having the adrenaline rushes when we're in meetings or watching something scary on TV is not-so-useful. ;] On the other hand... in all honesty, I'd really rather not be savaged by a sabre-toothed tiger every time I have an adrenaline reaction, if that's an available option. ;D

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

Good wishes to all of you.

[dedoc.livejournal.com]

Oh *agggggh!* Have spotty internet access for 36 hrs and.... *argh*.

This is awful reminiscent of the way I heard about MY dad, a year and more ago.

It appears, though, like it's already working out better and better.

My prayers, of course, and my best wishes... and with physicians in the family, you're already well-covered, but call/write if you want to, anywhoo.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

oh, sweetie. i'm sorry that this scary thing is happening to you.

some things:

your mom being upset about having to stay in the icu is a fabulous wonderful sign. (it's possible to be sick enough to not notice or care.)

let misha do all the routine stuff that needs to be done (dishes, laundry, etcetera) unless you want to do it. (hi misha. yes, i'm signing you up for stuff. i hope you still like me anyhow. :) if it'll help you to do it, then go for it.

if it were me in your shoes, which it's not, and things continued to improve with your mom, i would go to the funeral and then to see your mom.

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

(hi misha. yes, i'm signing you up for stuff. i hope you still like me anyhow. :)

How could I not? Anyway, I'm on top of it, but it was a good suggestion nonetheless. :)

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i figured you'd be on top of it. :)

when my dad was in the hospital, the one i live with basically ran the house. if it weren't for him, there would have been no clean clothes or dishes for two months.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Very happy to hear your mother's doing better. I admire the way you've been handling this. If you need anything, just scream.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts, and have added you to the candle.

***HUG***

Gessi

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, I suppose it's a good thing that I don't read livejournal often enough... I got to avoid a large chunk of needless worry, as it turns out.

I'm *REALLY* glad you found a solution for this.