How passive aggressive of you to predict my negative response and yet still communicate. The fact is that your anecdotal evidence is worth exactly the same as my anecdotal evidence. I have heard it used lovingly, although only once. I've *never* heard it used meanly in a real conversation, only in fiction (such as a sitcom on tv). Teasing is a part of some loving relationships and some unloving ones, but not all of either.
I think the "piled higher and deeper" thing is most appropriately used by someone who has also earned the degree in question, *but* fandom is not notorious for highly socialized people who follow all the same rules of social intercourse, so I'm not a bit surprised that it might be used by someone who means well, but doesn't completely understand the context.
And here is where I insert something about not attributing to malice what can be ascribed to carelessness. I do think Rivka is being very sensitive and reactive, and with good reason: she is tired and stressed out, or recovering from being those things.
Re: For what it's worth (and probably to you, not much)
I think the "piled higher and deeper" thing is most appropriately used by someone who has also earned the degree in question, *but* fandom is not notorious for highly socialized people who follow all the same rules of social intercourse, so I'm not a bit surprised that it might be used by someone who means well, but doesn't completely understand the context.
And here is where I insert something about not attributing to malice what can be ascribed to carelessness. I do think Rivka is being very sensitive and reactive, and with good reason: she is tired and stressed out, or recovering from being those things.