Politics and religion.
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One of the things that bothers us both about our church is the tendency some members have to blur the distinction between a Unitarian-Universalist church and a Green Party convention. The strongest example of this is the reflexive assumption that everyone in our church opposed the war in Iraq, but there's a whole spectrum of other political stances (disapproval of Israel, for example, and support of gay marriage) that almost assume the role of tenets of our faith. It's a strange position for a non-creedal religion to be in.
So
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The problem, to me, comes when you assume that there is a unitary relationship between a set of religious values and a set of political positions. My personal interpretation of affirming "the inherent worth and dignity of all human beings" leads me to be pro-choice, but it may equally lead another UU to be pro-life. The second principle's call for "justice, equity, and compassion in human relations" may lead some to be pacifists, and others to see the necessity for certain just wars.
That's not to say that the seven principles can be twisted to support any political position, or that there can be no religious debate about political issues. But just as I think it's ludicrous to claim that God self-evidently objects to loving queer relationships, I think it's ludicrous to assume that God - or liberal religious spirit - must self-evidently be on the side of Palestinian suicide bombers. And I think we'd have a better church if people were a little more ready to apply our UU tolerance of diverse religious perspectives to diverse political perspectives.
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My current denomination, the United Church of Canada, is also known as "the NDP on Sunday mornings". My immediately previous denomination was American Baptist. In both congregations, I noticed people assuming that a social or political belief that was very unpopular in the general population would be universally held in that church. An example was that during Gulf War I or whatever it was called, people in Ohio were overwhelmingly pro-intervention, yet people in the church tended to assume that everyone in the church was strongly anti-intervention and anti-military, to the point of really offending a few people who had different political opinions and/or military relatives, and who had thought the congregation was open minded. I had the same tendency myself, maybe because I felt so marginalized and foreign elsewhere during that war that I wanted my church to be a comforting haven of like thinkers.
And then there was the time I attended a poly discussion group, where some people started making cheap jokes about Baptists, so I asked if this was the right time to come out as a Baptist.
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Yes, exactly. I think that a lot of people with liberal religious beliefs feel very isolated as part of their day to day lives, and want church to be a place where the minority can be the majority. It's a natural feeling - if you feel challenged at every turn, you want some place to be free from challenges, where you can relax among the like-minded. A haven, as you say.
I find it much more difficult to work on accepting people and feeling in community with them in spite of deep philosophical or political differences between us. Unfortunately, I feel as though that's something that my church is supposed to be for, so I should be working on it. I have a long way to go, argh.