Jan. 12th, 2002

Bang.

Jan. 12th, 2002 11:24 pm
rivka: (Default)
I went to the target range this evening for the first time in four months. Post September 11th, I just didn't feel like shooting for a very long time. [livejournal.com profile] clairaide's account of learning to handle a gun reminded me that it was in fact something I liked, and so I asked [livejournal.com profile] wcg to take me out there again.

For the first couple of minutes I was disoriented - doing things like trying to pull the trigger with the safety on. But once I started firing I realized that I hadn't forgotten how after all. I put 45 of 66 shots in the 10-ring, and didn't land more than a few outside the black until I sent the target out to 50 feet. It felt good. I've done better, I think, but it was still pretty damn good.

Bill suggested that I might want to think about competition - he seems to think that I could already acquit myself respectably on the local level. I can only assume that his mind is clouded by love, or something. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea that I might actually have a genuine talent for this.

It's weird - I saw that most of the other people around us weren't shooting as accurately as I was. I actually don't understand how people can shoot as badly as some of these folks were - I mean, if you're aiming at the center of the target, how do you get your shots scattered evenly across the entire sheet? I saw this, but it's still hard for me to understand that Bill thinks I'm a good shot. Not "good for a beginner," but good. I don't get it.

It's not low self-esteem. Tell me I'm a good writer, and I'll be pleased but unsurprised. Introduce a new intellectual skill, and I won't be shocked if I pick it up quickly. But this is a physical skill, one that takes coordination and balance and steadiness and accuracy of movement. I've never been a physically skilled person. I'm awkward, I'm weak, I'm disabled, I lurch when I walk. This is not the sort of thing I can do.

Except, I guess, that I can. Huh.

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