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Dec. 20th, 2002 02:26 pmOn Wednesday, I went back to the doctor for a follow-up of the thing I had removed from my nose.
It was back, or rather, it never really went away. There was still a bump there after he cauterized it, which I first thought was just swelling and then thought might be a tiny raised scar. But eventually it became clear that I still had a lesion (or papule, or whatever you want to call it) in the same place.
So I went in on Wednesday expecting to be biopsied, because that's what he said we'd do if it came back. And instead he said cheerfully, "Oh well, I'll just cauterize it again."
"Wait a minute," I said. "I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of just cauterizing it again. If it's something that came back, I want to know what it actually is."
I don't think he has patients disagree with him very often. He leaned in and put his hands on my knees - I was up on the exam table, fully clothed - looked me searchingly in the eye, and explained that I need to trust him to advise me to do the right thing. He explained that a biopsy would leave a scar. He explained that even if it were a basal cell carcinoma, he would still just want to cauterize it. He explained, again, that a biopsy would leave a scar. On my face. Which, apparently, was supposed to be sufficient reason to avoid it as long as possible.
I wanted to walk out of the room. I wanted to tell him to take his hands off my knees. I wanted to leave and ask my doctor to set me up with a real dermatologist rather than a plastic surgeon. But instead I gave in and agreed to have it cauterized again.
He said something to indicate that he'd only done a shallow cauterization last time - because, of course, a deep and thorough cauterization can also leave a scar. On my face. And he had wanted to avoid that if at all possible. At that point I lost my temper.
"I don't care if it scars!" I said loudly.
He looked hurt. "But I care. I don't want to leave a scar if we don't have to."
At least this time I could tell that he cauterized it thoroughly. It took more time and hurt more, and there's a significant burn mark. More importantly, there's no remnant of the bump - in fact, there's a slight depression. I think this time he probably got it.
I'm frustrated with myself for not being a better advocate for my health care priorities, and for not telling him to keep his hands off my knees. I won't go back to him again, and I'll tell my primary care doctor what I didn't like about him, but I also should have handled the situation better while I was there.
It was back, or rather, it never really went away. There was still a bump there after he cauterized it, which I first thought was just swelling and then thought might be a tiny raised scar. But eventually it became clear that I still had a lesion (or papule, or whatever you want to call it) in the same place.
So I went in on Wednesday expecting to be biopsied, because that's what he said we'd do if it came back. And instead he said cheerfully, "Oh well, I'll just cauterize it again."
"Wait a minute," I said. "I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of just cauterizing it again. If it's something that came back, I want to know what it actually is."
I don't think he has patients disagree with him very often. He leaned in and put his hands on my knees - I was up on the exam table, fully clothed - looked me searchingly in the eye, and explained that I need to trust him to advise me to do the right thing. He explained that a biopsy would leave a scar. He explained that even if it were a basal cell carcinoma, he would still just want to cauterize it. He explained, again, that a biopsy would leave a scar. On my face. Which, apparently, was supposed to be sufficient reason to avoid it as long as possible.
I wanted to walk out of the room. I wanted to tell him to take his hands off my knees. I wanted to leave and ask my doctor to set me up with a real dermatologist rather than a plastic surgeon. But instead I gave in and agreed to have it cauterized again.
He said something to indicate that he'd only done a shallow cauterization last time - because, of course, a deep and thorough cauterization can also leave a scar. On my face. And he had wanted to avoid that if at all possible. At that point I lost my temper.
"I don't care if it scars!" I said loudly.
He looked hurt. "But I care. I don't want to leave a scar if we don't have to."
At least this time I could tell that he cauterized it thoroughly. It took more time and hurt more, and there's a significant burn mark. More importantly, there's no remnant of the bump - in fact, there's a slight depression. I think this time he probably got it.
I'm frustrated with myself for not being a better advocate for my health care priorities, and for not telling him to keep his hands off my knees. I won't go back to him again, and I'll tell my primary care doctor what I didn't like about him, but I also should have handled the situation better while I was there.
