Happy happy.

Thanks, everyone, for your kind birthday wishes. I had a nice, mellow day with Alex, whose contribution to my birthday happiness was being a perfect angel at the library. (Usually we just go on Fridays for story hour, but yesterday I wanted books.) In the evening Michael and I had take-out sushi and just relaxed together. He gave me a beautiful string of hematite beads with a ring and clip to hold my work ID. Such a clever idea! I've been wearing my ID on a boring cloth cord for years. And wcg gave me some lovely sharp kitchen knives, and my mother sent a cardigan and a pair of fleece clogs for inside-the-house wear. It was a good birthday.

I lectured my RAs for weeks about how I thought it was inappropriate for gift-giving to happen up the supervisory chain, because there's no way for pressure not to be involved and because our boss and I make more money than they do. Today they took me out to lunch and each gave me a card with a tiny token gift. "You guys are completely insubordinate!" I howled. "Yep," they said. "Get used to it." Obviously I have no authority.

(no subject)

For the last several months, I've been having more pain than I'm used to in my right hip. I did remarkably well with that hip during my pregnancy - better than I'd expected; I had anticipated needing a cane and had considered the possibility that I would need crutches or even a wheelchair during pregnancy because of the extra weight centered over my hips. We had also considered the possibility that I would have excruciating hip pain during delivery, because of my pelvic abnormality. That didn't happen either.

But after Alex was born, and I regained my strength, my hip didn't bounce back. I have a lot of stiffness in the joint, so much so that I can barely walk when I first get up from sitting or lying down. It hurts more than it used to, including sometimes when I'm lying down in bed. My limp is more pronounced. It aches after exercise. I have some referred pain to my knee.

It could be a lot of things. It could just be that I'm deconditioned. Lord knows that I haven't been getting anywhere near an optimal amount of exercise. It could be that my artificial hip is beginning to fail - I was told to expect it to last about fifteen years, and it's been nine. I'm not sure what the experience of having an artificial joint wear out is supposed to be like, but if it feels like developing arthritis in the first place did, then this could be that. It could be that the pelvic changes that happen during pregnancy and delivery caused some sort of damage to my artificial hip or to the plastered-together old surgical breaks in my pelvis. It could be a lot of things.

In a couple of minutes I'm going to leave the house for an appointment with an orthopedist. No, not the asshole I saw when I saw pregnant. I'm not even seeing anyone in the same practice as him, ever again, ever. It's someone my primary care doc thinks is wonderful. But I'm still nervous.

One of the things she said when she referred me to this guy was, "and he specializes in minimally invasive surgery!" Please don't let it come to that.

Whew.

According to the orthopedist, my artificial hip looks exactly the way it did in 1997. Hasn't moved a millimeter. There's some bone loss around the plastic socket - he said that the plastic can cause bone to dissolve, which I don't remember anyone telling me when I had the thing put in. But it's not enough to cause concern.

He thinks the problem is muscle weakness. After his exam, I'm inclined to agree. I had more trouble than I'd expected moving my leg the way he asked me to, not because the joint hurt but because the muscles did. So he's prescribed physical therapy, and I have to think of a method of exercise that accomodates Alex. (I'd love to hear from other mothers of babies, on that matter.)

I am quite relieved.