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Feb. 6th, 2006
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Feb. 6th, 2006 10:28 pmIt's amazing how much I can be rejuvenated by an hour and a half of just playing with my baby, after someone else has taken care of her all day.
She has become very serious about her stacking rings. She used to love to take them off the central post and bang them together, but now it has occurred to her that she ought to be able to put them back on the post. That requires aim. Rather a lot of aim, given that the base rocks instead of having a flat bottom. She did pretty well if I held the base still, less well if I left her entirely to herself, but she worked on it hard - and got frustrated with herself for not getting it perfectly.
Not that she's my daughter, or anything.
After I fed her supper, we put a 50's music tape in the stereo and danced around the living room. Alex started grinning and flapping her arms as soon as she heard the words who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp?, and laughed out loud as I flipped her upside down, spun her round and round, and did the twist with her on my hip. I did some laughing, too.
Michael came home and announced that he was going to put the baby to bed and make dinner. And he'd spent some time today thinking of what arrangements we could make to keep me from getting this burned-out again. I am cautiously optimistic. We'll see how it works out in practice.
And on Wednesday night, barring another attack of the stomach flu, I will be going to see The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe after Alex is in bed.
I'm still feeling like my life is very far from where I want it to be: at best, I'm an adequate mother, not the mother Alex deserves. I'm not getting much accomplished at work. Michael and I have been acting more like workers on opposite shifts in the baby factory than like husband and wife. I used to be so proud of my blog, and now I feel like I'm not even the same person who did it - I certainly don't feel like I could access that kind of writing ability, or passion, now. But this evening I guess it no longer feels hopeless to try.
She has become very serious about her stacking rings. She used to love to take them off the central post and bang them together, but now it has occurred to her that she ought to be able to put them back on the post. That requires aim. Rather a lot of aim, given that the base rocks instead of having a flat bottom. She did pretty well if I held the base still, less well if I left her entirely to herself, but she worked on it hard - and got frustrated with herself for not getting it perfectly.
Not that she's my daughter, or anything.
After I fed her supper, we put a 50's music tape in the stereo and danced around the living room. Alex started grinning and flapping her arms as soon as she heard the words who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp?, and laughed out loud as I flipped her upside down, spun her round and round, and did the twist with her on my hip. I did some laughing, too.
Michael came home and announced that he was going to put the baby to bed and make dinner. And he'd spent some time today thinking of what arrangements we could make to keep me from getting this burned-out again. I am cautiously optimistic. We'll see how it works out in practice.
And on Wednesday night, barring another attack of the stomach flu, I will be going to see The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe after Alex is in bed.
I'm still feeling like my life is very far from where I want it to be: at best, I'm an adequate mother, not the mother Alex deserves. I'm not getting much accomplished at work. Michael and I have been acting more like workers on opposite shifts in the baby factory than like husband and wife. I used to be so proud of my blog, and now I feel like I'm not even the same person who did it - I certainly don't feel like I could access that kind of writing ability, or passion, now. But this evening I guess it no longer feels hopeless to try.