D-Day.

Grant deadline: Fully uploaded to grants.gov by 5pm.

Tasks at hand:

Enter 40-odd additional references into reference manager.
Replace shorthand references in text with reference manager thingies.
Format bibliography.
Human subjects protection plan.
Statement on the inclusion of women and minorities.
Planned enrollment chart.
Justification of the exclusion of children from the study sample.
Facilities description.
Update and format my biosketch.
Make the personnel justification look more impressive.
Abstract/"program narrative."
Oooooone last pass through the research plan to make sure it isn't stupid.

It's not as bad as it looks, because I can crib boilerplate text for a lot of those things. But still, it's quite bad enough.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

I can't fucking believe this.

To whom it may concern:

I respectfully request that you consider accepting this R21 application, “Irrational and Mistrustful Beliefs in Antiretroviral Therapy Decision-Making,” although it will arrive approximately 15 hours past the May 7 deadline for the receipt of AIDS-related proposals.

The academic institution in which I am based, the Institute of Human Virology, is currently in the middle of making a transition from membership in the University of Maryland Biotechnology Institute to becoming an institute fully contained within the University of Maryland School of Medicine. Some faculty and staff have become employees of the School of Medicine already, while others have not. Some administrative procedures have already been transferred to the School of Medicine, while others have not.

Because of the confusion engendered by the constantly-evolving status of the merger, it was not immediately clear which approval and routing procedures (Biotechnology Institute or School of Medicine) applied to a grant submitted during the merger process. Those questions were not resolved until late in the routing process, a few hours before the grant deadline of 5:00pm on Monday, May 7. At that point, a critical administrator whose signature is required for grant submission had already left the campus.

I would like to underline the fact that there were no delays or problems in the scientific and financial preparation of the application, and that there are no underlying administrative problems which would interfere with the conduct of the research if a grant is awarded. The problems which led to this delayed application are a one-time event, based on the fact that the grant deadline fell in the middle of the period in which our institution is merging with the University of Maryland School of Medicine.

Therefore, it is my earnest request that you approve a slight extension of the 5:00pm deadline and accept this application for review.

Sincerely, Rivka, Ph.D.

Obviously, there's more to it than that. More later, when I redevelop the ability to breathe.