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June 5, 1999.
Jun. 5th, 2009 05:33 pmTen years ago today, on June 5, 1999, Michael and I were married.
I remember that when my undergraduate advisor got married, she told me that she recommended that all her students live together first, because then "marriage is exactly like things were before, except that you have more stuff." But it turned out that I didn't feel that way at all. After Michael and I married, I felt profoundly different. I had a deep sense of security and peace.
From the very first weeks that I knew Michael, I was aware that there was something about our relationship that made him different from, well, everyone else I ever dated. I felt that no matter how different we were in background, experiences, or outlook, at the bedrock level of fundamental values and axioms we were the same. In the ten years we've been married, the twelve years we've been together, he has never given me that stepping-off-a-cliff sensation of "you are totally alien to me." We have disagreements, but I have total faith that at the core we are in agreement about what is important and what is right. Michael understands me like no one else ever has. I trust him as I've never trusted anyone else.
If we hadn't found each other, who would we be? I wouldn't be a UU. He wouldn't live in Baltimore. I wouldn't understand why the designated hitter rule is a travesty. He would still think of sushi as "bait." We wouldn't have Alex or Colin. Our lives would be unrecognizably different.
It's not so easy to be us these days. We're under a lot of stress. But we've got each other's backs, and I think we both have faith that this family we're building is good.
Happy Anniversary, Michael.
I remember that when my undergraduate advisor got married, she told me that she recommended that all her students live together first, because then "marriage is exactly like things were before, except that you have more stuff." But it turned out that I didn't feel that way at all. After Michael and I married, I felt profoundly different. I had a deep sense of security and peace.
From the very first weeks that I knew Michael, I was aware that there was something about our relationship that made him different from, well, everyone else I ever dated. I felt that no matter how different we were in background, experiences, or outlook, at the bedrock level of fundamental values and axioms we were the same. In the ten years we've been married, the twelve years we've been together, he has never given me that stepping-off-a-cliff sensation of "you are totally alien to me." We have disagreements, but I have total faith that at the core we are in agreement about what is important and what is right. Michael understands me like no one else ever has. I trust him as I've never trusted anyone else.
If we hadn't found each other, who would we be? I wouldn't be a UU. He wouldn't live in Baltimore. I wouldn't understand why the designated hitter rule is a travesty. He would still think of sushi as "bait." We wouldn't have Alex or Colin. Our lives would be unrecognizably different.
It's not so easy to be us these days. We're under a lot of stress. But we've got each other's backs, and I think we both have faith that this family we're building is good.
Happy Anniversary, Michael.
