(no subject)

The kids are doing better than I feared with Michael gone. They both worship the ground he walks on. Colin has been known to cry in my arms, asking for his daddy. Not this weekend, you understand - on a normal work day, or even possibly if Michael is in the shower.

"Daddy always come back," he repeats to himself. "Daddy always come back and hold his boy."

(At least I get that one too. When I come home from work he launches himself at me, squealing an octave higher than his normal voice in incredulous glee. "Mommy, you come back! Mommy always come back! She always come back hold me.")

At any rate, we're slogging along. They miss him but it's not too bad. I'm trying to keep them busy and dole out special treats.

There's been a certain, justifiable, amount of "I want Daddy." But Colin said two things yesterday that were particularly heartbreaking.

At dinner we were discussing, once again, the mysterious topic of where Daddy is. And at one point Colin said excitedly, "When I bigger, I can ride in an airplane and go see Daddy!"

"Daddy will be home before then," I promised, but he didn't seem sure.

Later on toward bedtime he said, again with great excitement, "And Daddy be there when I wake up!" I guess he hears that a lot, on nights when Michael has an evening meeting. This time I had to say no.

We watched The Sound of Music yesterday. Alex has been wanting to for ages, but I've balked at letting a healthy kid watch a three-hour video. Yesterday seemed like the right day. Both kids loved it. (We fast-forwarded through the boring grown-up romance parts.)

This morning Colin spent a long long time lying on my chest and asking me to sing "the girl song" over and over. (That means "My Favorite Things.") I sang it again and again. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad.

"Colin, why do you want me to sing this so many times?"
"I don't know."
"Just cause you like it?"
"Yes. ...And Daddy."