Of course she's given birth, sheesh, that's such a bizarre thing for the person saying that to have piled so much self-esteem on, the ability to push a baby out of a vagina.
My midwife said "There are the following situations in which a caesarian would be necessary..." one of them was placenta praevia, which is why I gave birth in hospital, because it might have been an issue.
The birth is huge and important and scary and significant, but it really doesn't take that long and isn't the difficult bit, the difficult bit is putting in all the years of work bringing the baby up to be a person. People who adopt are mothers, and men can be mothers, and goodness knows women who've had caesarians are certainly mothers, and whatever hole the baby comes out of, I know you'll be a good mother.
Oh, and on the pain/bony bit thing. Most of labour, you're not sitting with your legs apart pushing. It's actually a very short time, at least with me second stage was less than an hour. I also have pelvic issues, and I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to open my legs properly. But the bit that takes a long time and hurts a lot is first stage and transition, once your cervix is open you're pushing with the contractions and they feel appropriate. Now it seems to me that that's the point where the bony bit's going to be a problem, not before. I don't know how much it'll hurt, but it's not labour pain that you don't know about that'll hurt, it'll be familiar pelvic/hip pain that you do know how to deal with, plus the contractions you'll have had lots of time to get used to earlier on. But if it's only going to be a problem in second stage, I bet you could hack it, and I bet you could really hack it with some carefully timed drugs that help with pain without wiping out alertness. I could be totally wrong, and I have to admit I'm trying not to flash on the moment when the bad midwife pulled my bad leg away from my body in the middle of a transition contraction, which remains my benchmark for pain, but have you talked to anyone else with pelvic problems who has given birth?
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Talking about pain, possible squick warning.
Date: 2005-03-10 09:32 pm (UTC)My midwife said "There are the following situations in which a caesarian would be necessary..." one of them was placenta praevia, which is why I gave birth in hospital, because it might have been an issue.
The birth is huge and important and scary and significant, but it really doesn't take that long and isn't the difficult bit, the difficult bit is putting in all the years of work bringing the baby up to be a person. People who adopt are mothers, and men can be mothers, and goodness knows women who've had caesarians are certainly mothers, and whatever hole the baby comes out of, I know you'll be a good mother.
Oh, and on the pain/bony bit thing. Most of labour, you're not sitting with your legs apart pushing. It's actually a very short time, at least with me second stage was less than an hour. I also have pelvic issues, and I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to open my legs properly. But the bit that takes a long time and hurts a lot is first stage and transition, once your cervix is open you're pushing with the contractions and they feel appropriate. Now it seems to me that that's the point where the bony bit's going to be a problem, not before. I don't know how much it'll hurt, but it's not labour pain that you don't know about that'll hurt, it'll be familiar pelvic/hip pain that you do know how to deal with, plus the contractions you'll have had lots of time to get used to earlier on. But if it's only going to be a problem in second stage, I bet you could hack it, and I bet you could really hack it with some carefully timed drugs that help with pain without wiping out alertness. I could be totally wrong, and I have to admit I'm trying not to flash on the moment when the bad midwife pulled my bad leg away from my body in the middle of a transition contraction, which remains my benchmark for pain, but have you talked to anyone else with pelvic problems who has given birth?