Parenting, and going through experiences like this, was what I needed to develop a good relationship with my own mother. For decades, I resented her, had a love-hate relationship with her, couldn't forgive her for incidents of shouting and sarcasm and inconstancy and spanking.
Then I raised my children and realized that, my God, those things my Mom had done, that I hated her for? They'd happened when she had five children under the age of ten; they'd happened when she'd been almost constantly pregnant for ten years (five living children + two miscarriages).
Actually, they'd happened when she'd been constantly pregnant AND raising babies and toddlers and hyperactive kids AND working fulltime evenings as a nurse AND with her husband out of town on business trips every other week. It's a wonder she wasn't psychotic from sleep-deprivation.
After I had that epiphany, so many things changed!
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Date: 2006-01-21 01:19 am (UTC)Then I raised my children and realized that, my God, those things my Mom had done, that I hated her for? They'd happened when she had five children under the age of ten; they'd happened when she'd been almost constantly pregnant for ten years (five living children + two miscarriages).
Actually, they'd happened when she'd been constantly pregnant AND raising babies and toddlers and hyperactive kids AND working fulltime evenings as a nurse AND with her husband out of town on business trips every other week. It's a wonder she wasn't psychotic from sleep-deprivation.
After I had that epiphany, so many things changed!