I hear you. I've felt many of these things, though I also admit, I'm sometimes guilty of being too judgemental. I try to reserve that for people who don't even try, but I know even that isn't helpful, I know.

In addition to the bottle-feeding, I've run into this from the sleeping end of things. It's rough.

Congrats on getting her to drink milk! I know a lot of parents who have trouble with this.