1) this is the first and only time I have made a statement of this sort publicly regarding the childfree community. It was made because I felt that it was relevant to Rivka's post and that her friends were clueful enough to understand that 'way to large a percentage of that group' is not the same as 'all'. Apparently I was wrong.
2)Refusing to call myself 'childfree' does not 'further encourages the redefinition of a highly useful term'. It doesn't matter one bit. Because previous to the statement here I had never voiced that opinion anywhere. My friends and partners know to varying degrees my lack of interest in children and that really is all that matters. Not calling myself 'childfree' does no more to harm that term then the fact I don't happen to call myself polish-american harms that term.
3)I know Rivka fairly well, and have met and interacted with some of her friends. And frankly I am willing to give them the benifit of the doubt that they are inteligent rational enough thinkers. Such that they are not so mindless as to, from reading one comment which uses no absolutes to decribe a group and in fact is careful to not say 'all' or even 'most', come away thinking that statement defines the whole group. In much the same way I am willing to bet Rivka didn't think they would come away from her post thinking all breast feeding mothers are rabid anti-formula loonies.
4) I was careful to at all stages state that this was my decision regarding my actions and in no way stated or implied that anyone else should follow them. You on the other hand have repeatedly responded to my personal decision by telling me how it was a poor choice and that I was somehow ruining the phrase 'childfree' for everyone else. I was making my own personal value judgement based on my own personal experiences, and your responses have basicly consisted of 'you are fine to do that if you want, but here is all the ways you are wrong and how your actions are going to do horrible things for the use of the word 'childfree' everywhere.' Which frankly, is quite rude and has a distinct attitude of 'I somehow know better than you what you should think and how you should act'.
So now, I have at this point basicly been hassled by you for not calling myself 'childfree' to a much greater degree than I have ever been hassled by anyone (up to and including my mom and grandparents) regarding actually having kids or not. I have been told by you that leaving the word 'childfree' out of my self definition and mentioning this ONCE in a comment in a single post is going to cause all sorts of problems for people who decide to identify as 'childfree'.
My experiences with the looney fringe of the 'childfree' movement have consisted of comments about how annoying/stupid/poorly-behaved all kids are (extrapolated from one or a few experiences), and how people who raise kids can not possibly enjoy/understand anything of any depth simply because of the kids. And now my experiences with you, who identify as childfree have been that of telling me that I am causing all sorts of problems for everyone who uses the word 'childfree' (extrapolated from one comment in one post), and being told that while I am totally free to make my own decision, that I am inacpable of nderstanding how that decision could completely muck things up for everyone. And the latter done in such a way as to imply I am thereby foolish for not publicly embracing the word as part of my self definition.
Frankly after all of that, I am more inclined now to believe the percentage of loonies is higher than I thought, and to now actively and publicly seperate myself from a community & self-definition whos' apparent moderates are willing to hound me and deride my choices so.
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Date: 2006-04-13 03:29 am (UTC)2)Refusing to call myself 'childfree' does not 'further encourages the redefinition of a highly useful term'. It doesn't matter one bit. Because previous to the statement here I had never voiced that opinion anywhere. My friends and partners know to varying degrees my lack of interest in children and that really is all that matters. Not calling myself 'childfree' does no more to harm that term then the fact I don't happen to call myself polish-american harms that term.
3)I know Rivka fairly well, and have met and interacted with some of her friends. And frankly I am willing to give them the benifit of the doubt that they are inteligent rational enough thinkers. Such that they are not so mindless as to, from reading one comment which uses no absolutes to decribe a group and in fact is careful to not say 'all' or even 'most', come away thinking that statement defines the whole group.
In much the same way I am willing to bet Rivka didn't think they would come away from her post thinking all breast feeding mothers are rabid anti-formula loonies.
4) I was careful to at all stages state that this was my decision regarding my actions and in no way stated or implied that anyone else should follow them. You on the other hand have repeatedly responded to my personal decision by telling me how it was a poor choice and that I was somehow ruining the phrase 'childfree' for everyone else.
I was making my own personal value judgement based on my own personal experiences, and your responses have basicly consisted of 'you are fine to do that if you want, but here is all the ways you are wrong and how your actions are going to do horrible things for the use of the word 'childfree' everywhere.' Which frankly, is quite rude and has a distinct attitude of 'I somehow know better than you what you should think and how you should act'.
So now, I have at this point basicly been hassled by you for not calling myself 'childfree' to a much greater degree than I have ever been hassled by anyone (up to and including my mom and grandparents) regarding actually having kids or not.
I have been told by you that leaving the word 'childfree' out of my self definition and mentioning this ONCE in a comment in a single post is going to cause all sorts of problems for people who decide to identify as 'childfree'.
My experiences with the looney fringe of the 'childfree' movement have consisted of comments about how annoying/stupid/poorly-behaved all kids are (extrapolated from one or a few experiences), and how people who raise kids can not possibly enjoy/understand anything of any depth simply because of the kids.
And now my experiences with you, who identify as childfree have been that of telling me that I am causing all sorts of problems for everyone who uses the word 'childfree' (extrapolated from one comment in one post), and being told that while I am totally free to make my own decision, that I am inacpable of nderstanding how that decision could completely muck things up for everyone. And the latter done in such a way as to imply I am thereby foolish for not publicly embracing the word as part of my self definition.
Frankly after all of that, I am more inclined now to believe the percentage of loonies is higher than I thought, and to now actively and publicly seperate myself from a community & self-definition whos' apparent moderates are willing to hound me and deride my choices so.
Good day to you."