People of color don't ever get to be in the position where their race doesn't matter, and it's a reflection of white privilege to believe that if I "follow the rules," I should be able to be there myself. Race matters, and requires careful consideration and reflection and acknowledgement of double-binds and paradoxes and above all listening.

One doesn't get to demand rules that let one opt out of doing that work.

Well put.

A more useful question would be "how can we fix these problems/how can I help?" If we [members, in this context, of the dominant group] feel a need to define a "winning" condition, we might say "I win when I am making things better" or "We win when racism and other forms of oppression lose." The latter might be useful for people whose victory conditions/idea requires that someone or something else lose.