I think it's way more natural, when someone comes to you, to listen to the issue, and then say exactly how you feel about what it is that they are troubled with. If you also cannot stand hearing racial jokes, say so...if you have a problem, also, with the way that literature presentation in the public school setting is handled, say so, if you do not feel that your friend is looking at the situation fairly, say so. Get into a natural discussion.
Personally, I would never dream of reacting to someone who is having angst over their race, socioeconomic status, gender, disability, lifestyle, religion, or *any* injustice, by trotting out any more than the cursory anecdote of my own that realjae suggests, and then returning to discuss what it is the other person has thrown on the table. I wouldn't need to go into great detail about how I am not one of "those" white people, nor would I need to get wound up about ways "I" have been similarly persecuted for being different. That is no better than responding to a friend's illness with a long, drawn out version of your illness, which, by the way, was worse! Save your angst for when you have the floor...
Sometimes, if one is being egocentric, it does not mean that it is okay, because egocentrism is a constant in human nature: it simply means that the person behaving egocentrically needs to take a look at themeselves, and adjust. Because it IS narrow and egocentric to think, "Oooh, I am indirectly or directly in an oppressed minority, too, so this is kind of all about me, and my own suffering."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 03:17 pm (UTC)Personally, I would never dream of reacting to someone who is having angst over their race, socioeconomic status, gender, disability, lifestyle, religion, or *any* injustice, by trotting out any more than the cursory anecdote of my own that realjae suggests, and then returning to discuss what it is the other person has thrown on the table. I wouldn't need to go into great detail about how I am not one of "those" white people, nor would I need to get wound up about ways "I" have been similarly persecuted for being different. That is no better than responding to a friend's illness with a long, drawn out version of your illness, which, by the way, was worse! Save your angst for when you have the floor...
Sometimes, if one is being egocentric, it does not mean that it is okay, because egocentrism is a constant in human nature: it simply means that the person behaving egocentrically needs to take a look at themeselves, and adjust. Because it IS narrow and egocentric to think, "Oooh, I am indirectly or directly in an oppressed minority, too, so this is kind of all about me, and my own suffering."