Now, whatever their motives - expressing empathy, making me feel that I wasn't alone, suddenly struck by the fact that all bodies are imperfect and wanting to share their insight - the effect on me was always to make me feel completely alienated, msunderstood, and trivialized. It felt like the difficulties of my situation made them so uncomfortable that they had to gloss over them by comparing them to something minor and making it seem like they'd "been there." It definitely felt like they were making the comparison to make themselves feel better, not to make me feel better.
I had the same reaction to people who responded to my depression by pointing out all the things I had to be happy about. In an effor to "cheer me up".
Talking to other people who were suffering from depression, OTOH, made me feel understood and commiserated with.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 09:09 pm (UTC)Now, whatever their motives - expressing empathy, making me feel that I wasn't alone, suddenly struck by the fact that all bodies are imperfect and wanting to share their insight - the effect on me was always to make me feel completely alienated, msunderstood, and trivialized. It felt like the difficulties of my situation made them so uncomfortable that they had to gloss over them by comparing them to something minor and making it seem like they'd "been there." It definitely felt like they were making the comparison to make themselves feel better, not to make me feel better.
I had the same reaction to people who responded to my depression by pointing out all the things I had to be happy about. In an effor to "cheer me up".
Talking to other people who were suffering from depression, OTOH, made me feel understood and commiserated with.
(Just noodling here.)