maybe if you stopped rewarding her for not eating? I realize that you need her to eat, but when she's hungry enough she will. In between, she gets lots and lots of attention and control over mommy/a chance to push the envelope every time you try to get her to eat.

I wouldn't be surprised if that's got something to do with her not eating.

Me, I'd withhold stimulation until she eats - no tv, no toys. You can't make her eat, but she doesn't get distractions and privileges when she's not eating.

This is not a limit you want to let go.