Changes.

[rivka]

A couple of weeks ago, the ministers of our church announced that they will be retiring in June. It probably shouldn't have come as a shock - they're getting on in years, and John (who is 76) had a mild heart attack last spring. Over their customary summer off, I think they realized that if they wanted a retirement period they should probably start it now.

It shouldn't have come as a shock, but it did. And over the last week or so, I've begun to realize that I seem to be taking it harder than most people.

Michael is interested in seeing what we might be able to do with a more active and energetic minister. At my DRE advisory council meeting, I heard some sentiments suggesting that other people don't place all that much importance in the ministers: "Ministers come and ministers go - you're part of the congregation, and the congregation endures." "This is one of the least minister-centric congregations I've ever seen." Many people seem sort of excited to think of who we might get next. The most negativity I've heard expressed is along the lines of, "Ugh, a ministerial search is so much work."

In my corner, I am quietly panicking a little.

Church was a central foundation in my life, growing up. Not just "church" the generic noun, but Park Church (Congregational) in Elmira, New York. When I was a young child, we had a senior minister who served the church for 20 years. As I became a teenager, he retired and was replaced by an excellent pair of ministers who had a real gift for working with youth. That church sustained, challenged, and nurtured me as I grew up.

Now it's a ghost of its former self. When the ministers of my teenage years left, the church had trouble with its search (Elmira is apparently not a big selling point), and wound up hiring an inexperienced young woman just out of seminary and elevating a couple of lay leaders to paid positions. When a huge social controvery rocked the church, the young minister didn't handle it well and became a focal point for negative feelings. She left, and despite an excellent interim minister who specialized in healing wounded congregations, the church had terrible trouble replacing her. They wound up with a stern, rather colorless, and theologically quite conservative senior minister and an increasing ministerial role for one of the untrained lay leaders - who didn't handle it well.

The congregation became increasingly divided. For a few years, my parents didn't go to any church - which I would previously have thought was unimaginable for them. They couldn't bear the services at Park and weren't ready to move on to another congregation. We went on Christmas Eve when the whole family was home, but the last couple of times even the most tradition-bound of us (my brother Steve and I) had to admit that there was nothing there to draw us back again. My parents eventually joined a Presbyterian church, which they describe as just "okay." The last I heard, Park Church membership had dwindled so much that they only had one Sunday School class for grades 1-6.

Is it any wonder that having good, long-term ministers leave feels really perilous to me?

Since Michael and I joined First Unitarian, six years ago, the church has been growing beautifully. The RE program went from a meager handful of children who did crafts on Sunday morning with a paid care provider to a thriving crowd - on each of the past two Sundays we've had 45 kids in the classrooms, immersed in developmentally appropriate religious curricula. Membership and weekly attendance have increased, to the point where if you're late to church you often really have to look around for a seat. We've expanded our paid staff and our financial security. We became a teaching congregation last year, hosting a seminary student as our ministerial intern. And we've moved a long way towards being a church with clearly defined policies and procedures, rather than a church which relies on the institutional memories of a few stalwart elderly people. I feel as though we're poised to do great things as our 200th anniversary approaches in 2017.

People keep assuring me that, for all those reasons - plus our hugely prominent historical role in the history of American Unitarianism, and Baltimore's current urban renewal and expansion - we'll be considered a prime catch of a congregation. That ministers will be lining up around the block to reply to our search announcement, and we'll have our pick of some of the finest in the denomination.

But having watched what seemed to be a thriving church all but die after a couple of bad ministerial changes... I'm still worried. I'm afraid that our current growth will be interrupted and will falter. I'm afraid we're going to wind up with someone suboptimal. I'm afraid that things will change, and - as my whole family and I did with Park Church - I'll wind up no longer feeling that this church is my home.

Comments

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Ouch ouch ouch. That's never easy.

I've seen similar things happen to my parents' church--it's not working out so well--and in my own church--where there were some rocky moments but now things are great. I don't know about UU congregations, but in the Episcopal Church, the general tendency is that after long-term rectors leave, the next permanent rector only stays for a couple of years. Kind of like a rebound rector. So if you don't get Prince(ss) Charming the first time, don't panic!

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Well, I can see why you'd be nervous. But Baltimore--and that church, in particular--is much more of a draw than Elmira, and you guys'll find someone. Maybe not someone who's just like this great minister, but someone with experience and compassion.

-J

[tea-dragon.livejournal.com]

Yikes- I totally understand the panic- it is very special to find a church that feels like home, and you are absolutely right that good or bad ministers have a huge amount of influence. Can you volunteer to be on the search committee? At least then you would have some control over who you end up with...

It does sound like fabulous people would be drawn to your church though, so I hope you'll find someone who is the right fit.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, since you do have a strong foundation, I do think that the change will probably occur smoothly, but I do understand the nervousness. I hope things work out well, for you and the entire church.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm worried but on a personal level. The major reasons I haul my butt 30min up to Baltimore to attend services are John and Phyllis. Now that I have the Spud, the thriving RE program is a plus, but it was their thoughtful and insightful sermons that made me want to come.

I've read some of the online sermons of some other UU churches in the area, and I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable in all congregations, and a lot of that comes from what the folks behind the pulpit are saying.

[telerib.livejournal.com]

Durrr... that was me. Not logged in on the new computer.

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

I've seen cases where the minister is ... what word do I want? divisive, maybe? enough that the congregation *doesn't* endure, so I can understand your concerns.

But: Park Church (Congregational) in Elmira, New York got an OMG out of me; I was in the choir there in the early 70's, when Al Zabel was the choir director. TBH, I don't remember who the minister was; in some ways, I was more involved with Grace Episcopal, because of Cantata Singers. But I was in AGO, and the Park Church choir needed sopranos, so there I went. (In the church music world, it's often like that, very non-denominational in a weird way.)

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I remember Mr. Zabel, although my older sisters knew him a lot better. Mrs. Zabel was the children's choir director my first year in choir.

And I sang in Cantata Singers, too, in the late 80s. It's a small freakin' world.

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

And I sang in Cantata Singers, too, in the late 80s. It's a small freakin' world.

*stunned*

I joined when I was 14, for the third concert of their first season (1964, Brahms and Bruckner motets), and stayed in, except when I was in college out of town, through the end of '73. (I studied organ with Bob Finster, the founder.)

[juthwara.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I can relate all too well to what you're feeling, since I've experienced the same phenomenon in both of the churches my family attended while I was growing up. Both times we started out with a good minister and wound up with a bad one that nearly took the church down with them. My mother's church (also Park Church Congragational - I wonder if there's something inauspicious in that name?) is still trying to recover from the minister who left in a cloud of controversy seven years ago. When the minister at the church I was attending in Champaign retired, I realized that I was feeling far more upset than I should because I didn't have a single experience of minister turnover going well.

But as far as I know, the transition did go well for that church (we moved to Indiana before the new minister arrived), so I know it's possible. I hope everything works out well for your church. Hopefully a large, vibrant urban church will attract someone top-notch.

[bosssio.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I am a glass half full person.

You have credible worries. and luckily for your church, you know first hand what happens when the minster chosen isn't a good match for the church. You can use this wisdom to help the church in its search for a new minister.

I suggest you channel your justifiable worries into proactive work for the church. You and the church will benefit.

Btw, our search so far, in my very limited experience, has really created a lot of soul searching about how the church has changed in the last 7 years when we last went through this exercise. Newer members like me feel like we have more of a voice now than ever before, especially when we don't have the time to join church leadership.

The church will change. And change is hard. and no decision will be perfect. But change is also inevitable. This is why there is an entire section of organizational development focused on change management - to mitigate the potential bad elements of change and help people cope and in fact create an even more positive organization than before.

Going through this process can help a congregation come together and see itself more clearly - hell, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

[minnaleigh.livejournal.com]

I totally get why this would panic you. I've seen churches change so much with changes in leadership and it really can turn a home into someplace you no longer want to be. If I were you, I'd be freaking out a bit too.

Your church will have so many more choices than the church in Elmira, though, and that will make a difference so hopefully you'll just have to deal with some adjustment pains.

Would it help, if you have the time, to be involved in the search? Or maybe to have someone involved in the search with whom you could check in and talk to for reassurance along the way? For me, it would help to know that there were good applicants that people were enthusiastic about so that I could see that there are good potential outcomes of the change in leadership.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Would it help, if you have the time, to be involved in the search? Or maybe to have someone involved in the search with whom you could check in and talk to for reassurance along the way?

I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to be on the search committee myself, but that I would be thrilled if Michael were on the search committee. Fortunately, he likes the idea - and the timing should be about right with him finishing up being the treasurer.

For me, it would help to know that there were good applicants that people were enthusiastic about so that I could see that there are good potential outcomes of the change in leadership.

Yes. And there's also a component of wanting to be sure that stupid people won't pick the wrong candidate because they have stupid ideas about which direction the church should be going.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I have a massively long story about how a church can fall apart with the wrong pastor that I'm not going to post here. But I'll tell you the thing that would have kept us from hiring him: checking his resume. There's this idea that religious people wouldn't lie on their resumes and it became clear during sermons that he had lied on his and when a small group of us discontents actually checked his, we were able to present that to him and make him resign.