We're supposed to read this lengthy story to the kids (you can read part of it here, if you do "search inside" for the phrase "Prince Charming") and then draw them into a discussion.
I went and looked through the book, and to save anyone else having to battle Amazon, the whole of the relevant section about sexual behaviour goes:
The instant he starts putting me in the bed, it flashes through my mind, "I don't want to be here." I don't say anything. Antoine is good. He doesn't push me. Still, sex is not wonderful. Since I can't walk, the hymen never stretches. His penis inside me really hurts. Afterward I'm, like, that's it? I try to hide from Antoine that it takes so long before the hurt goes away. He asks me, "How was it? Tell the truth." "Well, it was not what I expected," I say.
So I'm not sure how the discussion is going to go, but what an able-bodied reader is presumably going to take away from this is presumably:
1) that sex (defined exclusively as penis in vagina) is going to be painful for disabled people 2) but that they are going to lie and say it doesn't hurt to save your feelings 3) and also that they don't actually want to have sex but won't say anything about that to save your feelings.
Or in summary, "disabled people don't want to have sex, are hurt by having sex, and only have sex to save the feelings of their able-bodied partners". I think I would be insulted if I was physically disabled, and I think as an able-bodied person I'd come away wondering why anyone would be so cruel to a disabled person as to allow a relationship with them to go beyond the platonic.
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Date: 2008-01-28 07:03 pm (UTC)I went and looked through the book, and to save anyone else having to battle Amazon, the whole of the relevant section about sexual behaviour goes:
The instant he starts putting me in the bed, it flashes through my mind, "I don't want to be here." I don't say anything. Antoine is good. He doesn't push me. Still, sex is not wonderful. Since I can't walk, the hymen never stretches. His penis inside me really hurts. Afterward I'm, like, that's it? I try to hide from Antoine that it takes so long before the hurt goes away. He asks me, "How was it? Tell the truth." "Well, it was not what I expected," I say.
So I'm not sure how the discussion is going to go, but what an able-bodied reader is presumably going to take away from this is presumably:
1) that sex (defined exclusively as penis in vagina) is going to be painful for disabled people
2) but that they are going to lie and say it doesn't hurt to save your feelings
3) and also that they don't actually want to have sex but won't say anything about that to save your feelings.
Or in summary, "disabled people don't want to have sex, are hurt by having sex, and only have sex to save the feelings of their able-bodied partners". I think I would be insulted if I was physically disabled, and I think as an able-bodied person I'd come away wondering why anyone would be so cruel to a disabled person as to allow a relationship with them to go beyond the platonic.