(no subject)

[rivka]

D&C is tentatively scheduled for 4pm today. I say "tentatively" because the L&D unit at the hospital is busy today, so they may not have time to see me. I really really hope they do, because I am pretty freaked out about the possibility of hemorrhaging over the weekend if I start to miscarry naturally. (Okay, "miscarry" isn't the right word because there is no baby, but I don't know what else to call it.) Apparently there can be a great deal of potentially dangerous bleeding with something like this - plus, if the tumor isn't removed in a controlled fashion there is a higher risk of tumor cells migrating and implanting somewhere else.

My friend Emily is going to pick Alex up at nursery school at 5pm and bring her to her house, where she can play with her friend Zoe and have dinner. Her neighbor will watch Zoe during pickup, so we don't need to worry about dropping off Alex's carseat. If we wind up being at the hospital longer than expected, Emily will bring Alex back to our house and put her to bed. We've arranged for a key for her.

Nursery school will explain to Alex at 4:45, but not before, that she's going home today with Miss Emily instead of with Papa or Mama. Emily will explain to Alex that Mama is sick and had to go to the hospital, but that Papa is taking care of me and I will be home soon.

Emily will bring something by tomorrow for us to have for dinner. God, she's a good friend. It's so nice to know that I can just rely on her to make things happen.

Our minister Phyllis is coming by in about half an hour to talk with me and Michael. One of my church friends asked if there was anything she could do, and I actually thought of something for once: she could call the church and let someone know that we need pastoral care, and why. I kept wanting it, but not being able to imagine picking up the phone and making the call and explaining things. So thank God for Megary. And Phyllis.

When the midwife's assistant called and told me not to eat anything more today because of the D&C, I asked her if that meant no water as well. Then I used the time it took for her to check with the midwife and call back to drink a big icy cold glass of water, which was good because when she called back she limited me to ice chips. I think that means I'm going to be fully sedated for the procedure, which, good. There's no way I want to be conscious to experience or remember this.

Am I leaving any kind of necessary preparation out? I've got the pacing-the-floor part covered. Anything else?

Comments

[witling.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, sweetie. It's going to be all right. You're getting the care you need, and your family's going to be right where you left them when you get back. We're thinking of you.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

I think you're right about the sedation. That's good - most women who have sedation for a D&C have little physical pain.

Thinking through my time working in a clinic, and the time I've spent in the LJ abortion communities - I don't think you're leaving anything out, preparation-wise.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

I've had a D&C but under different circumstances (failed miscarriage). The cramps were really quite bad for a few days, so having an after-care plan and stack of light videos (friend or spouse selected?) might help. I couldn't sleep & couldn't read and desperately wanted distraction; I felt similarly after both deliveries, so I sort of wonder if it is part hormonal.

To get really minor detail-y, you will probably need pads, if you don't have any kicking around.

Also I guess this is jumping ahead a little but definitely keep up your prenatals/iron supplements because it is a big shock to your body and anything you do to buffer that a little will help over the long term.

So sorry you are going through this.

[kate_nepveu]

Easy bland food in the house for after the D&C? I can't remember what I had or wanted after coming out of sedation.

They'll give you painkillers, but stick-on heating pads might be good too.

I hope you get seen today and the medical part of the procedure goes smoothly.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Err damn, I was reading in reverse chronological order. Sorry.

[geekymary.livejournal.com]

You're in my prayers through this whole thing. Good luck.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Still reading, and thinking good thoughts for you.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're well prepared. I found that while I was in progress and for a while afterwards, I needed distraction. I laid in a supply of junk food and spent several hours playing computer games. They were perfect because they didn't require actual thought or mental acuity, but didn't leave a lot of room for distraction (no commercials, no long pauses, certainly nothing to remind me of my situation).

FWIW I didn't find the percocet they gave me helped at all, but Ibuprofin was surprisingly effective at pain management.

We'll all be thinking of you. And of CuriousAngel as he deals with all of this, too.

[mizchalmers.livejournal.com]

Comforting things for recovery? A cashmere blanket, tissues with aloe, fresh fruit?

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

Okay, if you're looking for mundane stuff that might be helpful: make sure there's a stack of extra blankets by the bed, in case you need to be warmer than usual while you rest. Have blankets and pillows by the couch in case you want to rest there. Pile of light novels (Heyer, maybe?), fluffy movies, box of kleenex.

All of this long-distance listmaking, as if it were useful.

[xpioti.livejournal.com]

Cripes. *hugs* I don't think you know me, but I've been reading your journal with fascination for a while; I love how you talk about Alex, it gives me an idea of what we have to look forward to (our 1st is currently 21 months old). I don't know anything about having a D&C, but I do know about having a miscarriage; it sucks. Big time. *hugs* It's good that you have so many supportive people around you that you already know, but I wanted you to know that someone you don't know (not really :) ) is hoping and praying for you.

Best of luck, and I hope it goes as smoothly as possible. Daughter hugs are the best medicine I know of. :)

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

What witling said.

[erisian-fields.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you and the rest of your friends list have all the bases covered.

Distraction, distraction, distraction.

I'm wishing the best for you.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Bless you, and I'm so sorry.

I would suggest that you get a big pile of DVDs -- rental or bought, your call. Dopey stuff that you usually wouldn't let yourself watch, or that your husband wouldn't want to watch with you.

[ailsaek.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else said, comfy things (a new fluffy robe & slippers, perhaps) and some entertainments that take no brain. Crayons & coloring books, maybe? And comfort foods, especially ones someone else fixed.

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I hope the procedure goes smoothly, and that they give you the good drugs. (Short term amnestics are your very good friends. I know this from having my wisdom teeth out, and from having an upper GI endoscopy. Not remembering the procedure is good.)

Expect to feel drowsy and bear-of-little-brainish for a few hours up to a few days, just from anesthetic hangover. This is separate from the mental effects of stress and grief (but can sometimes replace, rather than add to, them - it's hard to worry if you can't stay awake.

It sounds like everything else is covered (NSAIDs, comfy places to rest, light distraction, warmth).

[tammylc.livejournal.com]

Good friends are important. I'm glad you've got some. And wow, was that smart thing to ask your church friend to make the call to your minister for you.

You sound as well prepared as you can be.

Oh, and re. terminology? Miscarry seems as good a word to use as any. Regardless of what the cluster of cells in your uterus actually is/was, you are miscarrying emotionally.

*hugs*

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Emotionally, you are losing a baby except that it's worse because there wasn't one, you're losing a hope an expectation of one. And "mis-carry" actually seems a perfectly reasonable term for it anyway.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

All of this long-distance listmaking, as if it were useful.

It is useful, because it makes me feel like people love me. It makes me feel less like I'm alone in the house just counting down the hours until an unwanted medical procedure.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

Only thing I can think of, beyond all the good things others have suggested, is to make sure your freezer is well stocked with ice packs or their moral equivalent, and that your hot water bottle doesn't leak (or that you have a heating pad), and that you have a decent supply of your painkiller/NSAID of choice.

Lots of people are thinking caringly of you and yours.

[redbird]

I wouldn't say necessary, but a teddy bear might help.

[ckd]

I can't offer any advice others haven't already (distracting DVDs/games, a nice warm blanket to curl up under). That doesn't stop me from caring or thinking of you, and I wish you the best.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

When I've had major surgery in the past (physically more intense, emotionally less so), I wanted mindless stuff that still kept my brain busy. A hand-held tetris game, or something of the like might do the trick. Most importantly, I wanted people that cared about me to call or visit. Sometimes people don't know when to come and when to give space. If you have one person who can communicate exactly what you want or need at a particular moment, you can avoid having people drop in when they're too much, or avoid alone time if you don't want it. Michael may or may not be in the best head-space to do this right now, too.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you, lots of warm thoughts. I think all the advice above is good stuff. I'm glad you have a good support system in place.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Some of your favorite foods to eat in the 'fridge or freezer. If it were me, I'd also want a box of chocolate bonbons (I like Jaques Torres), and my copy of Blazing Saddles. It comforts me, oddly.

Thinking of you.

N.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

I have nothing useful to add here, this being entirely outside my realm of experience. I just wanted you to know, though, that I'm here and reading and sending supportive vibes as hard as I can.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

There may be no-one with you, physically, but you are not alone.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I think all the suggestions above are excellent. (Might I suggest the Colin Firth version of "Pride and Prejudice"? That and "Stardust" are my favorite DVDs right now. I know how much you love Jane Austen.)

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Maybe arranging contingencies for Alex in case the hospital wants to keep you overnight? I ended up staying overnight when they took my gall bladder out, even though I was supposed to go home same day. All the other bases I can think of are covered.

Everything else I've got sounds lame: good luck, godspeed, may it go as quickly and well as possible, and better. But you have near friends who love and will take care of you and that's better than anything I can say. Still, you're in my thoughts.

[naomikritzer]

I have no helpful list-y suggestions, but I'm thinking of you. And I don't care how busy they are, I will be furious if they don't get you in today.

[cynthia1960.livejournal.com]

I'm continuing to send good thoughts your way; hang in there.

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Just now getting online for the first time today, and doubling and re-doubling the loving thoughts sent toward you guys.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

Yes, full sedation is the right thing.

Sending all thoughts, prayers, vibes your way. And Michael's. And Alex's.

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

Sending good thoughts your way.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Lots of good advice here. Also, I find that the anaesthetic makes me spacey and dizzy and easily tired for a few days afterwards. Magazines and comic books and video games are better than anything that requires concentration.

Your first meal should be something light and easy on the stomach. Soup is good.

Stay warm and take care of yourself. Good thoughts to you.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this sucks. I'm *so* sorry Rivka. I hope today goes/went as well as can be hoped.

Hugs.

MKK

[nolly.livejournal.com]

I have nothing to add to the suggestions list, but I'm reading and you are in my prayers.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

That's like *now* -- and you're in my thoughts. Your exact situation is one I've obsessed about, when I think of trying to get pregnant, and my heart goes out to you hugely.

[submarine-bells.livejournal.com]

When I'm making plans for post-surgery coping, I make sure to get a pile of various different magazines on sundry topics - because afterwards, I want distraction but the painkillers mean I'm generally too brainfogged to be able to concentrate on reading anything substantial. So magazines with their short articles and lotsa-pretty-pictures really hit the spot for me there.

I know you've got heaps more post-surgical experience than me; but I'm tossing it in just in case it's a useful suggestion anyway. It sounds like you've got everything covered, and you have lots of folk thinking of you and wishing you goodthoughts. Here's more goodthoughts from me, if you want them.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Having not seen a cancellation message, I'm assuming you've had the procedure. You've been in my thoughts and hopes all day.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

It is useful, because it makes me feel like people love me.

so so much, we do.

*hug*

[(Anonymous)]

Too late for preparation advice, although it looks like people have covered it. I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you all day. *hug*

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

Music is one of the things that works for me. Sometimes it simply soothes, sometimes it distracts, and sometimes it serves as a tap, connecting with and releasing the huge emotions inside.

Like everything else, sometimes even music is more an irritant than a comfort. For me, this tends to happen in response to physical discomfort. But for the emotional stuff, it's my rock.

Flowers also work for me far, far better than I've ever been able to understand or explain.

Grief sucks. So does shock. Do whatever you need to get through each moment and onto the next. And know through each and every one of them that you are loved, loved, loved.

[minnaleigh.livejournal.com]

Oops, that was me!

[wild-patience.livejournal.com]

People do love you. I've never met you and I'm teary-eyed over this. You're such a warm, giving person and this is a horrible blow. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

We do.