Rivka, you are clearly not in a fit state to predict your future emotional reactions. You're still processing grief. If you have to live with only a loving husband and a wonderful child, which is the worst case scenari, you'll still have to"cope" with a lot less than most people. You'll do fine — believe you me. Once you are over this phase, a more realistic assessment of your life will come back to it. Jut focus on getting over the present and don't fret too much about the future, which is something you can't do much about now anyway.