Nursing report.

[rivka]

We went back to the pediatrician's office today for a weight check. Since Thursday, Colin has gained 4.5 ounces, bringing him to 7lb, 12.5 oz - just a few ounces under his birth weight. So now I feel as though I can finally relax and say that nursing is going well.

After the total nightmare of trying and failing to breastfeed Alex, this is a huge relief. I've been so worried that history would repeat itself with Colin. But from the very first, he's been a completely different baby to feed.

Within a few hours of birth, Colin already had strong feelings about how he wanted to nurse. I would try to latch him on a half-dozen times and he would refuse. Then I'd hit the right combination of size, shape, and angle, and he would latch on like a remora and start sucking vigorously. Over the first 24 hours, he figured out how big he should be opening his mouth, and latch-on quickly got a lot easier. Whenever he nursed, he was focused and persistent. When I took him off the breast and rested him against my chest to burp him, he opened his mouth like a baby bird and sort of bounced it along my chest, actively searching for the other nipple. When I put my finger in his mouth, he slid his tongue rapidly and firmly along it in a repeated milking motion.

What I'm getting at here is that from the first hours of life Colin has been a vigorous, enthusiastic, reasonably skilled, and rapidly improving participant in our nursing endeavors. And I had no idea. After Alex, I had no real understanding that the baby was supposed to contribute all this stuff. I thought of nursing as something the mother was supposed to get right.

It's possible that someone more skilled, persistent, supported, and experienced than me coul've made nursing work with Alex. But any half-alert halfwit could successfully nurse Colin. The baby makes a huge difference. And in our collective societal rush to make breastfeeding the hallmark of good infant parenting, we totally neglect that difference.

I'm glad he's my second baby. Because there might've been a possibility that I would have been one of those judgmental and sanctimonious nursing mothers, if I hadn't had such a clear demonstration of how little I've earned our nursing success.

Comments

[kate_nepveu]

I don't remember if I commented at the time, but reading those posts of yours, back in the day, were very helpful to me in that they made me aware that sometimes nursing just plain didn't work, and so I promised myself going in that I would not make myself miserable over it. So, thanks.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

After Alex, I had no real understanding that the baby was supposed to contribute all this stuff. I thought of nursing as something the mother was supposed to get right.

Thank you for this sentence. My breastfeeding experience wasn't quite as negative as yours, but close..... and I think, even 4 years later, it's really good to hear that perspective.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

I know this is a very emotional topic for you, but some of your language in this post is kind of off-putting to me ("any half-alert half-wit"). I think a successful nursing relationship - and it is a *relationship*, and every serious resource I have ever consulted (human or print) has called it that - is a mixture of contributions and hard work from both the baby and the mother, as well as a fair measure of luck.

I also don't think you should underestimate the importance of what you learned when nursing Alex to your success right now. I know that I came to nursing my second child with a wealth of knowledge and experience that I did not bring to the table when handed my first; further, the sheer fact that I'd cared for a newborn before meant that when my second was born I was much less emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted and had more resources to deal with the things that did go wrong.

[spiritdancer]

As my mother told me once upon a time "You learn with the first one, and practice with the second (and later) one." :-)

[(Anonymous)]

This is wonderful; I'm so happy for you!

Now the main thing is to try to avoid sore nipples. I read (unfortunately too late to try myself) that ensuring that the baby's lower lip is pursed out and not pulled in over his lower gums is the most important factor.

Best wishes,
Grandma Susan

[ailbhe]

I think that, like me, you might have been inspired to investigate why it "just worked" for some and completely didn't work for others.

I do wish cross-nursing were more socially acceptable; it's definitely possible to teach some babies to nurse effectively when they don't already know how, but it's cruelty to put that burden on mothers who don't know how either when they're already exhausted and in pain.

I'm so glad this is working for you that I'm crying, now. In a good way.

[aendr.livejournal.com]

That leaves me with a little more hope. My own Alex (now 3 months) is now on bottles, after my own nightmare of expressing and mastitis and not a single correct latch. Your experience suggests that if I have a second, it's worth it to try again and it's not guaranteed that I will have another nightmare (though I know it's not guaranteed I won't).

[perceval.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to hear it's going well!

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad this is working out so well for you, this time around.

(Now I'm wondering if Alex was just experimenting with the whole breastfeeding thing, over-thinking the issue, and wondering if the addition of an unusual chameleon would make suckling more interesting.)

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

I am so pleased with the Niblet! And you, too. :-)

[laurarey.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that this time around things are going easier for you and the baby. I'm going to attempt breastfeeding in 4-5 weeks when Miss Meeps arrives and am nervous. :)

[juthwara.livejournal.com]

Yay Colin! I'm so glad to hear things are going better this time around.

After Alex, I had no real understanding that the baby was supposed to contribute all this stuff. I thought of nursing as something the mother was supposed to get right.

Oh yes. I hear lots about the lazy mothers who don't try hard enough, but almost never any acknowledgment that a breastfeeding relationships requires two people to work right. It doesn't matter how much a mother wants to breastfeed if the baby can't suck the milk out effectively

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

The difference between Henry and Edward was like night and day as well. Some might be because I did eventually (after three months) get Henry to nurse right but if Edward had been my first it would have been a very different experience.

[geekymary.livejournal.com]

he opened his mouth like a baby bird and sort of bounced it along my chest, actively searching for the other nipple.

That's so cute!

And in our collective societal rush to make breastfeeding the hallmark of good infant parenting, we totally neglect that difference.

Amen! And I don't think you could become sanctimonious.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

LOL

[kaitiana.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's so GOOD to hear this...I shared my own nursing nightmares on that last post, and we're planning to start trying for baby number two early next year, so it's wonderful to hear that things might go more smoothly next time around!

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I don't even have sore nipples. Well, they're a little sore, but it's like "I didn't wear a bra" sore, not sandpaper sore.

[aendr.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad it's working for you.