Women in academia.

[rivka]

I just called the Institute director's assistant.

"Uh, hi, Beth, this is Dr. Rivka calling about the Faculty Retreat. This may not be a situation that's come up before, but I have a nursing baby at home, and so I'm going to need to pump milk during the retreat."

"Oh!" Beth sounds flustered. "No, that hasn't ever come up before. Oh. Um, well, I guess that when you need to, you just excuse yourself and go pump."

"I'm going to need a private place with an electrical outlet."

"I don't know if any of the bathrooms have electrical outlets..." The retreat is held at an old mansion that's been converted to a conference center. I wouldn't normally be willing to pump in a bathroom, but I know that the bathrooms in this place aren't grungy at all. If they have outlets.

"Yeah... should I call the conference center?"

"No." Now she sounds much more assured. "You know what, you can go into a bedroom and lock the door."

"I won't be staying overnight." Many of the faculty do, but I have always resisted.

"That's okay, we can still make one of the women's dorm rooms available to you. We can definitely make that happen. Just, when you get to the conference center find me and we'll set it up."

"Thanks." I wanted to say, did not dare to say, and hope I didn't need to say: Please don't mention this to Dr. Gallo or any of the other [male, it goes without saying] senior faculty.

I hate feeling awkward about this.

Comments

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Try not to feel awkward! You did a good thing.

[mizchalmers.livejournal.com]

I worked from when my daughters were 7 weeks and 13 weeks respectively, and I breastfed them both for over a year, so I pumped. A lot. I carried my Medela in a little brown suitcase that looked so much like a clarinet case that a colleague assumed that's what it was, until I corrected him. He was mortified.

A few years later he said: "You were so diligent! You carried that thing around with you every day!"

I said: "I think you are unclear on the biology."

I'm a bit of a scorched-earth working mother. Men make me feel uncomfortable every day, so I don't mind embarrassing them to death every once in a while.

[ailbhe]

Thank you for doing this. Maybe one day you will feel less awkward, but Alex and Linnea and Emer stand a good chance of feeling absolutely entitled and not awkward at all because of you and women like you.

[redbird]

Considering that she didn't want you calling the conference center, I doubt she'll say anything to Dr. Gallo or, indeed, anyone except possibly the person in charge of dorm room allocations.

And yes, it's annoying that people make you feel awkward about this.

[cassandre.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I'm a little surprised that you mind senior colleagues finding out, though. There's nothing embarrassing about what you're doing. It's normal.

That said, I do recall bringing my baby to a department coffee hour once to show him off, and at a certain point he got fussy and I put him on the breast, and the older male colleague who was sitting next to me visibly froze and starting making rather amusing attempts to stare everywhere in the room apart from at my bosom. I think it was the fact that I was still chatting with him that made him uncomfortable (yes, I can breastfeed and carry on a conversation at the same time! women are super-geniuses that way!). That said, he was someone of a much older generation, about to retire.

Hooking up the pump and expressing milk in front of colleagues, I would never do. Saying, "See you in a few minutes, I've got to go express some breastmilk now" seems fine to me.

[tchemgrrl.livejournal.com]

You may feel awkward about it, but I really appreciate your *writing* about feeling awkward about it. It means that I'm a bit more mentally prepared when put into a similar position (not "if", unfortunately; I can't picture sophomoric jokes but I can picture incredible awkwardness).