If it's possible to do something that helps you get tired at the appropriate time, sleep might become an act of self-love. (For me, the key is that tiny bit of awareness that I'm tired - if I'm reading something I want to keep reading, then self-love seems more like "reading just a few more pages".)

If one of you is clearly more tired than the other (Michael doesn't post to LJ, so I don't know how tired he is - but you've been sounding exhausted!), some cuddling and massage can be a good way to do this.

Going from "I *have* to go to sleep!!!" to "ah, poor me, let's get me to bed, and rest..." helps me when I'm too wired and trying to do too much.