I don't know whether you're concerned that they'll be upset by attending an open casket funeral and a big funereal show, but if so, I just wanted to offer my experience. Kind of as an assurance that it isn't necessarily a bad thing if you're forced by lack of childcare to take them. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't! Just saying that it's OK either way. You love them very much and are a great mom. I thought you might like to hear from someone who went to one of these things as a very young child and how it turned out.
When I was very young (about 5), my grandfather passed. The funeral included an open casket visitation, a full Catholic service, and a 21 gun salute at the gravesite. I attended everything. My mom's family is big enough that they filled the church. There was a huge post-funeral get together as well.
While it was odd to me, as a child, I actually look back on that experience as a positive thing. My mom explained that grandpa had passed away, and I peered into the casket (as kids do), but I did not find it traumatic or upsetting. (Boring at times, yes.) For me, it was a good introduction to the ways of death, and I found it comforting and still think of it from time to time.
Having kids, including babies and toddlers, is part of the tradition of my mom's culture, and it may be different there, but because of that tradition, there's a certain amount of social slack given to the parents to take the kid outside, or to shush them, or to go into a side room for a few minutes so they can run around.
Anyway. I just wanted to offer some reassure in case you end up having to take them.
In the meantime, I'm sending loving thoughts to you and Michael and Michael's father.
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Date: 2011-05-02 08:59 pm (UTC)I don't know whether you're concerned that they'll be upset by attending an open casket funeral and a big funereal show, but if so, I just wanted to offer my experience. Kind of as an assurance that it isn't necessarily a bad thing if you're forced by lack of childcare to take them. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't! Just saying that it's OK either way. You love them very much and are a great mom. I thought you might like to hear from someone who went to one of these things as a very young child and how it turned out.
When I was very young (about 5), my grandfather passed. The funeral included an open casket visitation, a full Catholic service, and a 21 gun salute at the gravesite. I attended everything. My mom's family is big enough that they filled the church. There was a huge post-funeral get together as well.
While it was odd to me, as a child, I actually look back on that experience as a positive thing. My mom explained that grandpa had passed away, and I peered into the casket (as kids do), but I did not find it traumatic or upsetting. (Boring at times, yes.) For me, it was a good introduction to the ways of death, and I found it comforting and still think of it from time to time.
Having kids, including babies and toddlers, is part of the tradition of my mom's culture, and it may be different there, but because of that tradition, there's a certain amount of social slack given to the parents to take the kid outside, or to shush them, or to go into a side room for a few minutes so they can run around.
Anyway. I just wanted to offer some reassure in case you end up having to take them.
In the meantime, I'm sending loving thoughts to you and Michael and Michael's father.