alt.polycon 9 report - Part III.
Nov. 14th, 2002 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaSaturday morning I woke up before the alarm - which was a good thing because I hadn't set it correctly, and it didn't actually go off until sometime around midnight. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
curiousangel was supposed to be on the Living Shy panel at 10, so he wandered off in search of coffee while I went down to the mezzanine level to wait for delivery of the large-screen TV. When the truck showed up at the hotel entrance I left things in the hands of fmmo and went up to the consuite myself. While I was there, the phone rang. "Has anyone seen [fmmo]?" "She's downstairs taking delivery of the TV," I called back. "Um, this is the TV person on the phone." We got his directions sorted out, and I got a cup of strong tea and half a muffin. Then it was panel time.
"Living Shy" started out looking like a small panel, but it grew steadily until by mid-panel there were about 30 people crowded into the circle.firecat did a good job of moderating. She delineated some useful distinctions between quiet, introverted, and shy, and also between shyness-as-a-problem and shyness-as-a-trait. Then she encouraged us to go around the circle and comment. Normally that drives me batty, but I think it was really useful in this panel - it ensured that everyone had space to speak. Lots of people had good things to say. Not many of the comments were poly-related, but that felt okay.
Next was the Renaissance Dance workshop. I can't think of enough good things to say about it. Susan was an excellent teacher: clear, encouraging, and given to making up enchanting little stories about the poly subtext of the dances. All the dances were for triads. The room wasn't really shaped for dancing, being long and narrow, but we made the best of it. My only criticism is that she ramped up a little too quickly from an easy first dance to a long and complicated second one, and it seemed to make a lot of people nervous. Even the long complicated one was well-danced, though. I had fun dancing withcuriousangel and helygen, and serenejournal and Lisa, and wcg and... *blink*... someone I've forgotten. Damn. I was particularly impressed with how well serenejournal and Lisa picked up the dance we did together, given their lack of experience.
After 90 minutes I was definitely ready for the dancing to end. I had managed to pull a muscle in the back of my left thigh the night before, and my right hip was feeling a little stiff too. I had a lunch date withrmjwell - subs, which we brought back to eat in the hotel lobby - and then spent an hour or so in the hotel's utterly luxurious hot tub. I was sorry to miss the OSO Etiquette panel, because it had been a good discussion at apc7 and because curiousangel and Ben were both panelists, but the hot water felt incredibly good on my sore muscles. Also I was really enjoying my conversation with rmjwell.
The next panel I attended was "I Can't Stand My Sweetie's Sweetie." I had had this vision of people walking past the door taking subtle glances inside to see whether anyone in their relationship web was present, ultimately leading to resentment and gnashing of teeth. But instead it was a crowded, mostly-cheerful panel with much swapping of stories and advice. I was pleased, if not surprised, to get outraged sympathy for my Huge Boundary Violation story. The general consensus of the panel seemed to be that you shouldn't have to get along with your sweetie's sweeties, but that it's sometimes difficult to establish distance from each other in a way that all parties can accept.
Next was the Long Distance Relationships panel, which I was on along withlilairen, brian1789, and Louise. This was another full and active panel. I talked a little about the problems wcg and I had moving from long-distance to short-distance, which mostly (from my perspective) centered around no longer having a good reason for why our lives aren't more entwined and why we can't spend as much time together as we like. "Because we live 1000 miles away" was always an excellent answer to those questions, and when that answer no longer obtained it took some time to re-settle things comfortably.
After the panel I had a fleeting encounter withladysprite in the hallway, as she was on her way out to dinner with wcg and Paula. curiousangel and I already had dinner plans, which is probably subject matter for another post.
curiousangel was supposed to be on the Living Shy panel at 10, so he wandered off in search of coffee while I went down to the mezzanine level to wait for delivery of the large-screen TV. When the truck showed up at the hotel entrance I left things in the hands of fmmo and went up to the consuite myself. While I was there, the phone rang. "Has anyone seen [fmmo]?" "She's downstairs taking delivery of the TV," I called back. "Um, this is the TV person on the phone." We got his directions sorted out, and I got a cup of strong tea and half a muffin. Then it was panel time."Living Shy" started out looking like a small panel, but it grew steadily until by mid-panel there were about 30 people crowded into the circle.
firecat did a good job of moderating. She delineated some useful distinctions between quiet, introverted, and shy, and also between shyness-as-a-problem and shyness-as-a-trait. Then she encouraged us to go around the circle and comment. Normally that drives me batty, but I think it was really useful in this panel - it ensured that everyone had space to speak. Lots of people had good things to say. Not many of the comments were poly-related, but that felt okay.Next was the Renaissance Dance workshop. I can't think of enough good things to say about it. Susan was an excellent teacher: clear, encouraging, and given to making up enchanting little stories about the poly subtext of the dances. All the dances were for triads. The room wasn't really shaped for dancing, being long and narrow, but we made the best of it. My only criticism is that she ramped up a little too quickly from an easy first dance to a long and complicated second one, and it seemed to make a lot of people nervous. Even the long complicated one was well-danced, though. I had fun dancing with
curiousangel and helygen, and serenejournal and Lisa, and wcg and... *blink*... someone I've forgotten. Damn. I was particularly impressed with how well serenejournal and Lisa picked up the dance we did together, given their lack of experience.After 90 minutes I was definitely ready for the dancing to end. I had managed to pull a muscle in the back of my left thigh the night before, and my right hip was feeling a little stiff too. I had a lunch date with
rmjwell - subs, which we brought back to eat in the hotel lobby - and then spent an hour or so in the hotel's utterly luxurious hot tub. I was sorry to miss the OSO Etiquette panel, because it had been a good discussion at apc7 and because curiousangel and Ben were both panelists, but the hot water felt incredibly good on my sore muscles. Also I was really enjoying my conversation with rmjwell.The next panel I attended was "I Can't Stand My Sweetie's Sweetie." I had had this vision of people walking past the door taking subtle glances inside to see whether anyone in their relationship web was present, ultimately leading to resentment and gnashing of teeth. But instead it was a crowded, mostly-cheerful panel with much swapping of stories and advice. I was pleased, if not surprised, to get outraged sympathy for my Huge Boundary Violation story. The general consensus of the panel seemed to be that you shouldn't have to get along with your sweetie's sweeties, but that it's sometimes difficult to establish distance from each other in a way that all parties can accept.
Next was the Long Distance Relationships panel, which I was on along with
lilairen, brian1789, and Louise. This was another full and active panel. I talked a little about the problems wcg and I had moving from long-distance to short-distance, which mostly (from my perspective) centered around no longer having a good reason for why our lives aren't more entwined and why we can't spend as much time together as we like. "Because we live 1000 miles away" was always an excellent answer to those questions, and when that answer no longer obtained it took some time to re-settle things comfortably.After the panel I had a fleeting encounter with
ladysprite in the hallway, as she was on her way out to dinner with wcg and Paula. curiousangel and I already had dinner plans, which is probably subject matter for another post.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-11-14 11:04 am (UTC)Dare we hope for ... food porn?
no subject
Date: 2002-11-14 12:01 pm (UTC)I want to thank you for the way you interceded between myself and a Certain Other Party at the "I Can't Stand My Sweetie's Sweetie" panel. You managed to get the discussion back on track without giving me cause to feel like a schmuck.
As to the dinner, maybe that is a dot_cattiness posting?
no subject
Date: 2002-11-15 05:57 am (UTC)Rivka, you've known me long enough to endure my insufferable schoolboy attitude towards alt.Poly... but may I politely enquire ... nah, you couldn't have... it was probably a slip on the stairs..
Fascinating reading.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-15 07:25 am (UTC)Full details of the activity that led to the muscle strain are under the cut tag in my previous alt.polycon post. *grin*