Money and religion.

[rivka]

Unitarian-Universalists suck at talking about money.

It's pretty much the last taboo for a religious movement in which sex and politics and blasphemy and heretical ideas are ordinary table topics. UUs don't want to talk about money. In particular, we don't want to talk about money at church. Asking for money is something that bad religions do.

Which is why I'm so nervous about the fact that sitting on my desk is a crisp blue folder containing the names of four UUs. I'm supposed to contact them and arrange a 30 to 45-minute home visit in which we will discuss (a) any questions from the recent congregational census that are of particular concern to them, (b) their views on the budget options, (c) their annual pledge. Yipe.

The reason we're pulling out all the stops and making individual home visits is that the church is nearly broke. We're a small urban congregation saddled with a large, old, historically important building. We've been operating with a budget deficit for the past several years, and our investment fund - which was never all that large, actually - is being rapidly depleted. The lousy state of the stock market hasn't helped. But it's also the case that a lot of members don't give as much as they could, and that some don't give anything at all.

All the money the church spends - for heat, salaries, charitable activity, roof repair, dues to the UUA - has to come directly from members' pockets, or from interest earned on money members have given in the past. We make a little money renting out our facilities for concerts and weddings, but in general, we have to come up with every penny we want to spend. Which means that people like me need to ask other people like me for money, however unpleasant a job it is. And which means, in this particular case, that I'll need to encourage people to give more than they did last year - or tell me what they're willing to see cut from a budget that's already been pared back considerably. It's going to be a hard thing to do.

But I need my church. I needed, today, to hear an inspiring sermon about choosing joy and life in a time of darkness. I needed to be reminded that spring came this week in the midst of war and anger and helplessness. I cried as we closed with This Is My Song, and the woman sitting next to me put her arms around me, and I needed both the tears and the embrace.

None of that could happen without money.

Comments

[dafna]

Interesting article you linked to. My synagogue has always been fairly pragmatic about money -- yes, we think that if you take part in everything we provide, you should pitch in some cash and tries to straddle the line -- which, at least in American Jewish tradition, is somewhere much further down the road from the UU line. So, it's supposed to be a percentage of your income but it's also a sliding scale (ie, a higher percentage as you make more money) and when I first joined I was paying about a third of what I do now. And we do sell tickets to High Holiday services (which I wish we didn't), but OTOH, we don't make a pitch for money at services like my uncle's temple regularly does.

What's funny is that even in communities where it's expected that you'll, you know, support that thing you go to each week, people are still really loathe to talk about it. And what's equally appalling is the number of people who simply lie about their income. I mean, I've never heard of anyone turned away for lack of ability to pay, but there are a heck of a lot of professionals who pay more for their gym membership than synagogue dues.

Sorry, hee. Interesting topic to me. (I've never been on the membership committee of my synagogue, but I was on the Religious Practices committee where the lack of funds communicated itself in things like not being able to buy prayer books.) It's particularly a problem for old downtown churches -- one in my hometown has actually decided to tear their building down and develop it -- which has many people aghast but the church is "look, we'd rather spend our money on people than buildings" and you certainly can't fault that.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

What's funny is that even in communities where it's expected that you'll, you know, support that thing you go to each week, people are still really loathe to talk about it.

On the one hand, I find this idea so bizarre. Obviously, religious institutions aren't run on fairy dust, and everyone knows it. Obviously, we should maturely acknowledge the need for our support, and discuss it comfortably. On the other hand, I obviously do share this weird attitude to some extent or I wouldn't be uncomfortable with the idea of helping canvass the congregation.

"So, it's supposed to be a percentage of your income but it's also a sliding scale (ie, a higher percentage as you make more money) and when I first joined I was paying about a third of what I do now.

Our church has started to talk, very carefully, about tithing - giving 10% of your income, preferably as 5% to the church and 5% to other causes you believe in. I think that very few people actually do that. But nobody knows how much anyone else makes (except for church employees, whose salaries are printed in the budget), so there would be no way to tell if people are doing it or not.

We have one of those old downtown churches of which you speak. To further intensify the issue, the building is historical as well as being old: it's the first church in America purpose-built for Unitarians, and the original sermon laying out the theological principles of Unitarianism (http://people.bu.edu/dklepper/RN212/unitarian.html) was preached from its pulpit. It's also beautiful, with stained-glass windows by Louis Comfort Tiffany. We'd lose a lot if we gave up the building... but, you know, the roof leaks.

Sorry, hee. Interesting topic to me.

Don't apologize! It's an interesting topic to me, too, or I wouldn't have posted about it. :-)

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

I'm proud of you for stepping up and helping, love. I'm nervous about making my own calls, too.

Still, I'm glad that we're helping the congregation grab hold of the issue now, before it's really too late. I get an awful lot out of the church, too, and I'm willing to work hard to keep it alive and functioning.

[redbird]

One thought: when you get to (c), avoid putting it in terms of "I know you can afford more than this because..." (I gather that this is a common fundraising approach in some circles). There's a major difference between offering a guideline like "some people are suggesting giving 5 percent of your annual income to the church" and telling them that because they're spending X, or have this nice house, you know they can afford $Y,YYY.

Good luck with it.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

There's a major difference between offering a guideline like "some people are suggesting giving 5 percent of your annual income to the church" and telling them that because they're spending X, or have this nice house, you know they can afford $Y,YYY.

Yeah. I can just imagine how well that would go over, ick.

They've recommended that we lead off with something like "How do you usually go about making the decision of how much to pledge?" For one thing, it's likely to bring out information about any special financial circumstances. For another, it leads smoothly to suggestions about different metrics people use - a certain percentage of their income, or an equal amount to what they spend on entertainment, or so much per day or week, or some percentage increase over what they gave last year.

curiousangel actually picked the people I'm supposed to visit, so they're all people I know. I'm much more likely to find myself saying "I know you had that period of unemployment this winter, but..." or "I know that finances must be tighter with the new baby, but..." than I am "I know you can afford more because..."

What comes after the "but" in those sentences? I haven't quite worked that out. Probably something along the lines of "...I also know from what you've told me that the church is an important part of your life. Times are tight everywhere, and that includes the church budget. Really, anything you can do this year is going to help, but I'm hoping that you'll be able to increase your pledge somewhat."

Argh, I'm going to be bad at this.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

In particular, we don't want to talk about money at church. Asking for money is something that bad religions do.

I think this is one of the biggest reasons for the discomfort I've seen about money in the liberal Christian churches I've attended. Many of the churches I've attended as an adult (especially the UU congregation) included people of a wide variety of church backgrounds. Healthy discussions about various issues often started with an invitation to talk about each person's feelings from past experience. It might help your census/stewardship meetings to include discussion about past experience / assumptions. Once you've heard that David's mother used to send money to TV preachers, Phyllis's dad supported a rural congregation on the tithe from his farm, Heather came from a Canadian Presbyterian background where they never talked about money at all, and Jeff grew up in a Reform Jewish congregation where they were matter-of-fact about the cost of belonging, it might be easier to find common ground on money issues.

When I attended an ABC Baptist church in Ohio, I was shocked by the more open discussion of money in church, but later came to see that as more healthy than the private belt-tightening and public avoidance of the topic that is more common in the Canadian churches I know. It seems to me that people are more comfortable with special fund drives (Christmas hampers, sanctuary repairs, the "back to black" campaign in the last month of the fiscal year, Beads of Hope for Global AIDS advocacy, whatever) than with pledges, invitations to tithe, or challenges to commit to ongoing giving.

My Ohio church used to get pledges, then do the budget based on pledged amounts (and an estimate of other givings). They managed to make me feel good about making a small pledge and keeping it, rather than feel bad about my pledge not being 10%.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Many of the churches I've attended as an adult (especially the UU congregation) included people of a wide variety of church backgrounds. Healthy discussions about various issues often started with an invitation to talk about each person's feelings from past experience. It might help your census/stewardship meetings to include discussion about past experience / assumptions.

UUs definitely tend to have issues relating to negative past experiences with religion. I'm in the minority, having been happy with my religious upbringing, but I've plenty about other people's experiences with church fundraising.

Because we're in a budget crisis, one of the things we're supposed to do in the interview is talk about what the person's budget priorities are and what philosophy they think the church should have about making and spending money. That's going to be a good opportunity to pull back and talk more about general money issues, including historical experiences, before getting to the subject of individual pledge amounts. So the visit structure is on the side of good communication.

My Ohio church used to get pledges, then do the budget based on pledged amounts (and an estimate of other givings). They managed to make me feel good about making a small pledge and keeping it, rather than feel bad about my pledge not being 10%.

Yes, that's the right way to do it. One of the things we're striving for is universal participation - so that everyone is encouraged to pledge something, even if it's only a dollar a week. And everyone gets a handwritten thank-you note for pledging, no matter how tiny the sum. It's a terrible distortion of the values of a church when large donors are made to feel better about being church members than small donors are.

[lerryn.livejournal.com]

I know, asking for money is a difficult thing, especially for an organization like a church which is `supposed' to be about spirituality, not the more down to earth mundanities like cash. On the other hand, I'd hope people would understand that maintaining a building, paying your minister, and stuff like that requires money. When I attend dreamingclaw's ceremonies, I just about always contribute either money or materials. For me it gets down to that a service (pardon the pun) is being provided, and compensating people for it is a good thing.

[roga.livejournal.com]

I suppose this is where I should be thankful that I live in a country with no separation of church and state, so this problem doesn't exist. So long as you belong to the right church.

Thanks for the link to the song; it's beautiful.

Re:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like the hymn - it's one of my favorites. If you want to hear the tune, it's here (http://www.wuu.org/music/159.mid).