This is probably unfair of me

[rivka]

But what the hell, I'll post it anyway. I was surfing the Random LJ link, and came across this entry:

Why isn't anything happening? [13 Sep 2001|08:03pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Azn Dreamers - Keep the Flame Alive ]

Well my life this week has been completely and utterly boring...the only thing that really makes me happy is cheerleading and that was canceled because of this whole terrorist thing...i wish it would just end already...neways...i have had no homework to stress over which is a good thing i guess...no tests...no boy problems...no friend problems so i guess life is good...but sometimes i wish that i had some sort of excitement in my life right...i mean the best part of my week is when i get to hang out with my friends or talk to the ones i don't see very often...when i don't have anything important to think about...i start to think about things i shouldn't be worrying about at this time...like when i move...am i going to be the same person...will i have a lot of friends...or what i mostly care about...will i have fun? I want to leave, yet i don't...occording to my mother i have it so good in my life right now and the things that i want will come eventually...but when is what i want to know...moving would mess it all up..but it just leads to a fresh start with new opportunities...well this whole entry is based on the fact that i have too much time to think and i starting to scare myself anyway gtg...later!

Well, I guess a terrorist attack that leaves more than 6,000 dead and launches the nation toward war is a bad thing, if it means that cheerleading is cancelled.

No, I know. I know that the world would not be a better place if we all put on sackcloth and ashes and did nothing but mourn the dead and worry about the future. But it's weird to follow random journals and see the shock and horror of 9/11 so quickly replaced by crushes and homework and standard teenage angst.

I've been telling friends and clients: it's okay to return to your normal activities. It's okay to enjoy things. It's okay to stop following every minute of horrifying coverage. You don't owe it to the dead to remain in suspended animation, focused on nothing but the tragedy.

I guess I don't quite believe myself.

Comments

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

I understand, and it's been really tough to refocus so I can enjoy my wedding... tomorrow... eeep!!!

[rivka.livejournal.com]

*smile* Eeep indeed. I hope it's wonderful. I always used to think that the whole "happiest day of my life" thing was bullshit, but in reflection it's hard to remember a day that had a greater concentration of sheer joy.

Every act that affirms life, joy, love, human connections, is more important than ever. Go do something life-affirming. For all of us.

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much Rivka. I will go do something life-affirming for all of youse. It's good to have had some time with my family, and it's been good to have a little time with ororo a few days ago.

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

I had to force myself to stop thinking about it because the constant headache is too much. even if I don't directly think about it the headache is there, but if I DO think about it it gets worse. it has faded into a background sense of "I know."

[jenett]

I think there's a substantial difference between "Go on with your life, mindful of the changes in the world" and "Be annoyed because other people are still focused on a major national event, and you're bored because the world isn't conforming to your desires because of this other stuff."

I don't have a whole lot of patience with "I'm bored, but I don't want to do anything about it" attitude *anyway*, though. (Bored and admitting you're not fixing the problem because you feel lazy, ok. Doing stuff other people find boring but that interests you, fine. Whinging about it because no one's amusing you, not so fine.)

I've been sort of feeling the same thing about this "go on with life" "be mindful" dichotomy, watching the high school kids cope. (It has seemed to produce them being more considerate of at least the library staff, oddly...)

Mostly, I've come to the conclusion that there's a difference between *ignoring* what happened and the relevant consequences, and saying "Yes, it happened, it's going to keep affecting reality, but there's other stuff out there too, and I want to keep balance."

For me, that's been listening to the radio driving home from work, and then coming in and turning on Sabrina or the Simpsons, as a way to remind me that silliness matters as much as solemnity, in the grand orchestration of the world.

But maybe I don't have such a high tolerance for people who only find a small number of things interesting/non-boring, and so my solutions won't work for everyone. (I mean, I know I'm far out on the polymath and polymath-wannabe side of the spectrum, but I didn't think the other side was quite that singleminded about what amused them as it sometimes looks like.)

[mathochist.livejournal.com]

I can only envy this girl. Truth be told, if I didn't have anything *personal* tied up in this crap, I probably wouldn't be very emotionally tied up in it. Intellectually outraged, yes. Sad, some, yes. But hugely emotional, I think not. I'm emotional now about my personal loss, about the pain my loved ones are going through... and about other shit in my own life, too. And oh, what I'd give to have nothing personal tied up in all this, to be able to just be bored with life, to just be a little irritated that nothing exciting was going on. To have the worst thing in my own life be a little boredom... oh, how wonderful that sounds right now!

This girl is so lucky, and I'm actually heartened to hear that not *everyone* in the entire world is living under this constant shadow. That many are grieving along with me and mine is, somehow, comforting, though sad. But that life is going on as usual elsewhere, that there are still teenagers who complain about simple things, that there are still people who are able to just be *bored* with their lives... oh, that's a Good Thing. It gives me hope that eventually our own lives will be like that again, too.

Re:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Maybe you wouldn't be emotionally tied up if you didn't have a personal stake, or maybe you would. I don't really have a personal loss, myself - I never met or interacted with Liam, and Rose and I aren't particularly close. I never knew that I could grieve this much for strangers.

I think you've probably put your finger on one of the things that irritated me about this girl's journal, though. Part of it is definitely envy. Not that I actually wish that I could be unmoved in the face of this tragedy... just that I wish my world hadn't been shaken to its foundations. I wish I could trust that everything would be the same.

[firecat]

Not that I actually wish that I could be unmoved in the face of this tragedy... just that I wish my world hadn't been shaken to its foundations.

Seebling.

The person who wrote that journal sounds very young. When I was younger, I just accepted the world as it was. I actually think that is a survival trait in the young.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

You know how the news has just been absolutely blanketed with "how to tell your children," "how to comfort your kids and help them cope" articles? My friends who have kids tell me that their kids are mostly taking it in stride. They seem to be blocking most of it out.

I think probably a lot of the obsessive focus on how to help children understand is really directed at helping adults make sense of things. Because most of the kids seem to be okay.

I agree

[firecat]

When I was a kid, I reacted the same way to events that devastated adults. I don't think I was blocking it out. I think I simply didn't have the emotional capacity to understand. At the time I knew I was expected to have a reaction and I felt weird that I didn't have one. But I didn't.

Maybe you want certainty?

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

re: my subject, maybe something like "If I knew that it meant something to her, if I knew that she understood what it was all about, and that this was just her not wanting to write about it, or not having anything to write about, it'd be okay."

Of course, if she didn't get it, that *WOULD* be aggravating. Though... really, I'm not sure if I would have really "gotten" it as a teen myself. (Of course, that's probably *WHY* it would be so aggravating for me... seeing something that bugs me about my past self.)