Don't take it personally.

[rivka]

curiousangel isn't home this evening, so I went out for Mexican food by myself. When I got to the restaurant, I noticed that a van for some kind of entertainment business was parked in a handicapped spot. It turned out that there was some sort of wandering balloon animal guy whose van it was, and the manager of the restaurant promised to get it moved. So I sat down and ordered some food.

The van sat in the handicapped spot. And sat in the handicapped spot. And eventually I asked the balloon guy himself, and he explained that he had permission from management to park there.

I had my waitress send the manager out to my table. "It turns out that he has my boss's permission to park there," he told me.

"Handicapped parking is a state law," I said. "The restaurant doesn't get to say that it does or doesn't apply."

He shrugged. My food curdled in my stomach.

"Look, if I had known that it was the policy of this restaurant to value balloon animals over disabled access, I wouldn't have eaten here."

He shrugged again. "It's not as if there are any disabled people who haven't been able to get in."

My hands started to shake. I don't even remember what I said after that, except that I swore I'd never eat in that restaurant again. I did get the business card of the general manager. Then I went home and called the police non-emergency number, and the dispatcher promised to send someone to check it out. It's low-crime Howard County, so they might even do it.

I don't know why I'm so insanely angry, but I am. I'm furious. My meal was completely ruined - my stomach feels like a clenched fist and I have a sour taste in my mouth.

I've been passing as able-bodied for too long. I'd forgotten how it feels to have one's needs treated so contemptuously.

Comments

[elisem.livejournal.com]

You go get 'em. Grr!

Idiots.

And I enclose some fierce lioness growls, in case you can use some on those people, and a hug or three for yourself likewise.

[ailsaek.livejournal.com]

Good on you!

My great aunt, may her memory be for a blessing, was wheelchair-bound and a wonderful redoubtable old bat (whom I hope to be just like when I get to her age). She used to direct her driver to park such that the jerk using the handicapped parking space was blocked in, and then just go into the establishment and go about her business. When mall security or whatever would call her out to move the van, she'd lay the helpless old lady schtick on thick until all concerned basically evaporated from shame and embarassment.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

That's terrible. I hope the police do go out there, and fine them into oblivion.

I've been using a cane because of foot injuries I got moving house, and I have come to the conclusion that people really do not understand how hard it is. I always tried to be considerate, but I know I never really understood before now. Of course, most people aren't considerate at all. I can't believe how many times I have to ask people to move on the bus so I can sit down (and I really have to sit because it kills my feet not to) -- once the only person who would stand, after I asked, was someone else with a cane! And still no one got up, even after I loudly protested that he shouldn't have to stand either. There's a lot of help out there, but it does seem to have to be institutionalized or people don't bother.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Good on you for standing up to the idiots and for calling the police. I only hope that in a similar situation that I would do the same. You rock.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

What she said. You did good.

Gessi

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you said something - non-disabled using disabled spots is just one of my pet peeves - I don't get as angry as you, but it DOES irritate the crap out of me!

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I want to add this to my memories, but there isn't a little heart symbol in your style, so I don't know how to...

Damn good post by the way, but my opinion is probably obvious from the fact I want to bookmark it :)

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

Bleah. If it was a local resturaunt for me, I'd go in and ... explain... things. Until I got you an appology, and made damn sure they'd never do that again.

Assuming you were OK with that, of course.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

"Handicapped parking is a state law," I said. "The restaurant doesn't get to say that it does or doesn't apply."

national, isn't it? i believe it's specified in the ada.

[lerryn.livejournal.com]

I understand. My gf aladriana has FMS, and really doesn't look disabled most of the time. But, those of us who spend time with her know she can only walk for a short distance without hurting badly, so she needs handicap spaces, and has gotten grief from the neighbors about it.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you spoke up. Your disability is more visible than mine, even (for certain values of disability), and you were still pegged as able-bodied.

I crave those blue spots, most days, and would probably have cried had I found out someone was "given permission" to park there. What a gumby that manager was. He should have been fined along with the parker.

The worst, though, is "It's not as if there are any disabled people who haven't been able to get in."

How would he know, if they just drove off after finding no parking? How would he know what "disabled" is if he saw it? (He clearly didn't.)

It's an ignorance thing, but I don't think it's intentional ignorance. It's more like cluelessness, lack of exposure and information, and perhaps, lack of giving-a-shit. He just might not care. It's not like disabled people eat or anything.

I feel my limits a lot more if I don't think of myself as disabled. Being disabled allows me to do things that I couldn't otherwise. It increases my ability.

[lizardling.livejournal.com]

You go.

"Shrink, I wanna kill"

[ailbhe]

I really have been listening to too much Arlo Guthrie. But you did the right thing; I hope the police did act. I am not particularly disabled, but it's totally invisible that I am slightly physically inconvenienced, shall we say, and I know someone who looks fine but has a heart condition that could kill her if she over-exerted herself. And I would just not park there; I'd drive on. No wonder you're furious.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

*grumble grumble grumble*

I'd talk to the manager. And the owner.

Good on you for following through with this!

Thank you!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

You did the right thing.

[dlacey.livejournal.com]

I'd be furious too. In fact I'm furious just reading about it. You did good.

[redbird]

You did the right thing.

If I were anywhere near where you lived, I'd ask for the name of the restaurant, so I could be sure of never going there.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Wow. I admire you for not throwing a screaming fit. Have you considered writing a letter to the editor? Or calling a TV station? Sometimes they have a "consumer advocate" beat.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I don't think your anger is insane at all.

I think you're being far kinder to the restaurant than might be warranted. I know enough people in your part of the world that I want to know the name of this place so that others know what sort of insane policy they have about their handicapped parking.

And shame on the balloon guy for taking that space, permission or no.

[aimgrrrl.livejournal.com]

Hi. I was pointed here by mactavish. This is completely inexcusable! I don't blame you for being angry. What restaurant was it? I have some friends in the Baltimore area who are disabled who would be more than willing to go raise a ruckus about their "policy." If you will share the location, I can rouse up the Gimp Posse. :-)

I've been known to park cars in, confront people, and generally start all kinds of tempests over this very issue. And I, like you, am fairly "invisibly" disabled. Bastards.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Good for you dear. I think I'll want to know which resturant this is, so I don't go there in the future.

[nexxcat.livejournal.com]

You know what, those people *really* need to have their ankle broken so they can hobble around on crutches to feel what it feels like. After sixteen months of surgeries and such, they then need to have their neck in a brace, so they can't move it side-to-side, and have them endure *that* for three months.

After all said and done, if they still insist that disabled-access isn't more important than their precious balloon animals, sever their spinal column at the waist. They shouldn't walk or procreate ever again.

FWIW, I'm not disabled, but I watched a close friend with the ankle injury go through that sort of a hassle.

I agree 100%

[(Anonymous)]

I'm using a cane again, the right patella is more damaged than I or the MD's thought. but to see me standing w/out it you'd think I was ok. Hell walking a block just hurts. This is one of the cases where many voices directed do make a difference. Be well and safe Rivka.

Tony

Tony von Krag

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I think you acted properly, though I can sympathize with the heavy load that anger places on one's body and mind. I wish it hadn't been necessary.