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Jul. 7th, 2003 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaAfter a stretch of procrastination and avoidance long enough to be completely ridiculous, I've managed to finish pounding out the text of the Results section of my dissertation. It's only 18 pages long, double spaced, and it took me a month. And that's after I had already outlined it.
I don't understand why I do this sort of thing. I got completely hung up on it because it seems like such a specialized kind of writing, and I couldn't even make myself work on it. I carried a disk around for two weeks before realizing that it didn't have the right file on it, because I wasn't working on it. And the whole time, I kept thinking about how angry my advisor would be when I eventually sent it to him, because so much time would have passed, and he always yells at me for taking too much time on things. And, of course, all the while that I was thinking that, I still wasn't working on it.
I do this all the time. It's worse with my dissertation than with anything else, but procrastination and avoidance are truly my worst faults. They make me miserable. While they're happening, I have this horrible frozen vision of how much worse things are getting because I'm procrastinating and avoiding them... but it's so hard to make myself just sit down and get them done. It's never as bad as I expect it to be. It's always a tremendous relief to finish. And yet, for some reason that utterly confounds me, learning still doesn't seem to occur.
I drive myself crazy.
Okay. Now that I've got that off my chest, it's time to dive into making the figure and the 18 tables to go with the Results section. Isn't that weirdly lopsided? Maybe I need more figures.
I don't understand why I do this sort of thing. I got completely hung up on it because it seems like such a specialized kind of writing, and I couldn't even make myself work on it. I carried a disk around for two weeks before realizing that it didn't have the right file on it, because I wasn't working on it. And the whole time, I kept thinking about how angry my advisor would be when I eventually sent it to him, because so much time would have passed, and he always yells at me for taking too much time on things. And, of course, all the while that I was thinking that, I still wasn't working on it.
I do this all the time. It's worse with my dissertation than with anything else, but procrastination and avoidance are truly my worst faults. They make me miserable. While they're happening, I have this horrible frozen vision of how much worse things are getting because I'm procrastinating and avoiding them... but it's so hard to make myself just sit down and get them done. It's never as bad as I expect it to be. It's always a tremendous relief to finish. And yet, for some reason that utterly confounds me, learning still doesn't seem to occur.
I drive myself crazy.
Okay. Now that I've got that off my chest, it's time to dive into making the figure and the 18 tables to go with the Results section. Isn't that weirdly lopsided? Maybe I need more figures.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-07 06:07 pm (UTC)1) I have so "been there, not done that." *hug*
2) I love that the frustrated icon is a windows logo!!!!!! I cackled.