Sixty second hypothetical.

[rivka]

Your boss lets her nine-year-old son hang out in your office sometimes, when she's working in the evening or on weekends. When he's here, he uses your computer. (And never puts the mouse back on the left side, but that's beside the point.)

You have Internet Explorer set up to clear the history file every day, but IE also keeps track of URLs which have been directly typed in - you can access them from the address bar. One of the ways you can tell that your boss's son has been using your computer is that sites like cartoonnetwork.com and nickelodeon.com appear in the address bar menu. Okay. But one morning, nakedladys.com is right in there with the addresses for cartoon websites. You click on the link to make sure it's not an ironically-named site for kids. It's not.

You have no idea whether your institution monitors Internet usage for porn viewing, although it's pretty obvious that no one is checking to see how much time you spend on non-work-related sites in general.

Do you tell your boss? And if so, what do you tell her?

Comments

[eeyorerin]

I'd think it would depend on how well I knew my boss and therefore how much I could gauge what her possible reactions were likely to be.

I think if I knew her well and was comfortable with her, I'd probably mention that I didn't "mind" her son using my computer, but that it didn't have any child protection software on there, and I wouldn't want him to get exposed to anything that she as a parent didn't think he should be seeing.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Yes, I tell the boss, but I limit it to the observable facts along with a way for the boss to not be shamed with a direct "your kid is using my computer to view porn" accusation.

Tell her that you are locking down your computer when you are away because you discovered that someone has been using it to look or porn. Maybe the cleaning crew is doing it; you don't know. But just to be on the safe side, you are locking it down, nonetheless.

You can either tell her face-to-face or send her an e-mail so you have a record of the conversation, just in case you need to keep such things around.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I like RJ's approach. It points to the problem, lets your boss know you're not the "offender" (if such things matter), suggests a prudent solution and leaves responsibility for policing the kid's behavior in his mom's lap, where it belongs.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

I think RJ and geminigirl presented the best approaches.

[boxofdelights]

It wouldn't occur to me to tell her about that, any more than it did to report the comics viewing. I'm sure she knows that kids are interested in naked ladies. If I worked in a place that monitered my internet use, I might install censorware.

[windsea.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a parent of an almost 12 year old and a 9 year old -- I'd like to be told! I'd appreciate a straightforward but polite approach -- "I thought you might like to know that Johnny seems to have been poking around a bit on the Net -- at least, after he was last using my computer a site called nakedladys.com popped up in my address bar! It's probably no big deal, but I wanted to let you know."

I think it's entirely natural, and the 2004 equivalent of Kimmie and I checking out her father's Playboys when I used to sleep over when we were in 4th grade. But it's good to know if your kids are mucking about on porn sites, so you can decide how you want to deal with it in your family context.

(When I found that C and K had been checking out sex.com, I sat down with them and we looked at some more, er, appropriate sites together, and they're now in a drop down menu on the toolbar. Since I did that with them, they seem to have lost interest in the porn (and trust me, I know how to tell). I suspect the fact that I didn't freak out made it less attractive as forbidden fruit ...)

[geminigirl]

"I'm concerned because this url came up in my history, and it's not one that I looked at," might work. That leaves it open to investigation, without any accusations being made, and leaving her the opportunity to discuss it with her son in the way she feels appropriate.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

I may have told you once about going through my browser history and finding all some astoundingly raunchy (but very literate and charming) stuff and realizing with a smirk that my friend and co-worker was using the only fast internet connection in the office (mine) after hours. I casually mentioned to him, one day in the office, that he might want to clear his browser cache once in a while "because it stores all KINDS of things -- images, URLs, everything -- and heaven knows how much drive space that takes up." His eyebrows barely moved, but I didn't see any more raunch while I was there. Hope I saved him any potential embarrassment at home, too.

The point being, if you don't want to bring it up to the boss, a subtle hint to the kid, even in the form of a note about, oh, drive space and network monitoring, might make such things stop happening at your desk.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

In most cases, for such a thing, I wouldn't feel it would be my place to say anything. I'm speaking, say, of a situation where a roommate used my computer at home or some such thing. However, at work, that's a little different. I think that it's important, just in case there is ever any question of inappropriate internet usage on your part, that you make her aware of it ahead of time. You might be able to find a somewhat more oblique way to present it, but I think it'd be good to make it known, nonetheless.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

If it were me and my office and my computer, I'd have a problem with the whole concept of the boss using it as part of her family space. It sounds like either you don't mind, or you are so far from having a choice about it that you're just dealing. (Private client files? Research data without backup? Bored nine-year-old? Aaarrgh.)

If you see the kid, one option would be to mention to him directly that you can see what he accesses and that it's not polite to leave tracks to "embarrassing" material on other people's computers. If he doesn't seem to know what you're talking about, mention the "nakedladys". If you're talking to him directly, you could also point out that it's not appropriate for him to rearrange the way you have your workstation set up.


I wouldn't tell the boss for the purposes of "telling on" her kid that he might be accessing porn. You would likely get into hearing all the defensive explanations about the friend who told him to try that address bla bla, which will make unnecessary awkwardness between you. But I might use it as an excuse to make a roundabout approach to whether it's appropriate for him to be using my computer.

I also like rmjwell's idea of adding a login, and telling the boss it's because of someone - maybe the cleaners - accessing porn, and/or because of realizing the potential damage to research data and/or client privacy. If diplomacy in your work environment warrants it, you could even offer to set up a separate userid for her son, to make the point with both of them that using your computer is a privilege that he needs to respect.

[saoba.livejournal.com]

I'd go for 'factual and concerned'.

As in: '*boss's name*, I've found out that someone used my computer to look at *name of site* while I was not here. (pause to insert explanation of how you can find it, if needed/wanted).'

'Naturally, since I have patient data/research/other needful information on my computer, I am concerned.'

'In order to prevent this from happening again/ keep from getting blamed for inappropriate use/ protect myself from rains of frogs, I intend to institute the following measures.'

Now, I believe you are right and it was indeed her kid. Very likely, if you can give her the time frame, she'll know it too. But I'd approach it from the proessional angle, this is your work machine and keeping random folks with access to the clinic out of your data is a Good Thing.

As an aside, her keeping her kid off of other people's work machines would be a Good Thing, too and more professional.

[ailbhe]

"Hi, Boss. Billy was using my computer, and looked at a bunch of cartoon sites, which is fine, but he also seems to have looked at nakedladys.com - I dunno if that's something you want to talk to him about. I had a look, and it's just nudity, nothing kinky or particularly frightening. But there *aren't* any parental controls on my PC, you know."

That's what I tell her, me.

[perigee.livejournal.com]

I would be probably be concerned and paranoid that someone would give me crap about where he was surfing. I'd probably ask around to find out what other people thought were the nicest ways of putting it, but I would definitely tell my boss what was going on. It could, after all, have been some sort of pirated link he clicked on and he could only have been looking for the half second it took him to realize where the link had taken him. You just can't know that kind of info without timestamped network sniffing.

But I would also be tempted to tell my boss that I'd be happy to give her and/or her son a tutorial on how to clear the IE history function, unless I personally relied on the history function for my own purpsoes.

Also, it would be a great time to find out what she knew about the details of the web surfing monitoring in your institution. :>

[elynne.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned - there's a distinct possibility that he was "tricked" into following the link, as in Fun site for kids! Or that he saw the link and thought "hee hee, naked ladies!", took one look at the site, and said "Oh crap, they're really naked!" and tried frantically to go anywhere else. Having had a co-worker lean over and type a porn URL into my browser at work before (he said he was going to show me "something funny" - I didn't think it was very "funny" when a dozen porn pop-ups replicated all over my screen!), I know that these kinds of mistakes can happen to adults.

So, for this one instance, I'd let it slide. But if it happened again, with multiple sites... then it's time to take action.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I'd go with, too -- wait to see if it's a pattern.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Once, back when I worked at the dotcom, someone asked, "Do you know of any cheap airfare sites?" I said, "Try cheapairfare.com!" She did. It was a porn site with a bajillion popups.

In the five years since then, I've checked, and it's been porn, it's been a squatter, and it's even been a cheap airfare site.

[fourgates.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say anything to the mother. Instead, I'd go into the internet cache for IE and modify the appropriate cached copy of the nakedladys.com home page to say

"Hey, [kid],

I can see everything that you're looking at on my computer. I know what you're doing, and I know that your mom would be very angry if she knew. I'm very angry myself, and I think I should probably tell your mom, but perhaps there is a better way for you to learn your lesson. So here's what we're going to do. You're going to bring me some of my favorite chocolates. And I mean the good ones from [link to Wockenfuss], not grocery store chocolates! I want two truffles each time you use my computer for anything that you might get in trouble for. Two! Just put them right there on the right side of my keyboard, where the mouse doesn't go. I know that it might be a bit difficult to explain why you need the fine chocolates to your mother, but, believe me, it'll be easier than explaining what you're doing on my computer.

Your 'special friend',
Rivka

Well, I might think about doing that, anyway.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

*worships*

-J

oooOOOOOoooo

[ex-helygen254.livejournal.com]

You are evil. Have I mentioned I like you?

Can this be done for Mozilla? There's a certain child who games when he should be doing homework...

Re: oooOOOOOoooo

[fourgates.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but I imagine it should be possible. Keith would probably know. Or we could install censorware that blocks the game sites he uses.

Re: oooOOOOOoooo

[ex-helygen254.livejournal.com]

Censorware wouldn't be nearly as much fun. :)

"Teachable moments" for mom and kid

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

See, this brings out the sex educator in me. (I get phone calls from parents along these lines sometimes.) I guess first I'd figure out what I know about the parent-child relationship there - are they close? do they talk about stuff? And then go talk to her and say, Hey, I thought you'd want to know that he was using my computer and seems to have gone to this site. If he's looking at it, he probably has questions about sex, or about naked ladies, or about his own body..... Then it's in her lap, as a parent, to figure out how to approach him.

Unless she's the sort who might go postal: "MY beloved baby was looking at evil porn????" and will go off the deep end on the poor child. In which case, I probably wouldn't get him in trouble. But that's about the only case in which I wouldn't talk to her.

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

You tell her, and you tell her that you see by your history file that her son clicked a link that took her to a sex site, and you thought you should tell her so that she can talk to him about it.

I wouldnt go into the typing detail. Itd just make her defensive.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

If it were *me*, I'd have one hell of a problem with the fact that the Asshat was letting his kid into MY office to use MY computer. The very idea horrifies me, and frankly I'd rather pay for my own laptop computer and bring it to work every day than have my boss let random people use one that he'd paid for. Next to that, the fact that the kid used my computer to view porn is pretty irrelevant.

On the other hand, if telling the Asshat about his kid's antics might get him to stop allowing the kid to use my computer, I'd certainly consider tattling. :-)

-J

[brooksmoses]

You've got a wide range of serious answers, which I really don't have much to add to, so I'll make the necessary flip comment: 9 years old really isn't too young to learn about the budgies and the butterflies -- how, when two nouns that end in "y" love each other very much, they change their ending to "ie" before adding the "s" on the end to become a plural....

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was lovely. Thank you.

[ex-helygen254.livejournal.com]

I definitely tell my boss about the site being accessed by someone other than you. I'd probably mention when it happened and let her figure out who it was, but I suppose it would depend on the boss. I'd also want to give her a good smack for letting her use my office and computer as a play area.

Speaking on the parent side, I would want to know so I could talk to him about it. I don't expect I'd be surprised to hear that he was visiting such sites.

[selki.livejournal.com]

No one else seems to have mentioned the possibility that someone using your browser could pick up a virus (Javascripts, downloads) that could trash your system and all the systems connected to it.

Couldn't they?

Re: Sixty second hypothetical.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

first off: nobody uses my computer without permission, and that goes for my work computer as well. if other people need to use my machine, my work better pay for a multi-user OS, and then we can create separate logins for people. if the boss wants her son to play on my computer that's fine, but that better happen to be separated from my work, so he can't accidentally destroy anything. who cares about porn; all my work, my research is on that machine!

aside from that, it would depend a lot on what my relationship is with the boss. but i'd be disinclined to tattle on the kid, since i don't see anything wrong with looking at naked ladies, and i don't know any child who won't, sooner or later, be interested in that. and i'd especially not talk if it's only one site -- like somebody else mentioned, it could have been a false lure that got him there. i might modify my response if the site is particularly nasty, and i consider it damaging without somebody talk about it to the kid, but again, much depends on my r'ship with the boss.

i might talk with the kid, actually, and ask that he please leave my workplace the way he found it, and teach him about browser cache clearing.

[fourgates.livejournal.com]

It doesn't pass the commentworthy threshold for me. It might, however, be a good excuse for your boss to get you a computer with an OS that can be locked down effectively, which would address your other information security concerns. If you need to run Windows 98, you might want to check out Microsoft Virtual PC 2004, which allows you to run multiple OSs simultaneously.