A rush of pure fury

[rivka]

First read this post.

I used to just be sad in the morning, and after 11am I was okay. But in the last two weeks that okay period has been pushed back to 2pm and then to 5pm and now I am not ever okay. My nights are just as bad as my mornings. There isn’t a moment in the day that I look forward to. I don’t see an end to this cycle of stress, and I find myself asking much too often, “Why go on?”

Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed me a combination of drugs. I wish that there were other ways that I could go about getting better, but you have to believe me when I say that this is way beyond herbal remedies or dietary changes. I exercise all the time and I have a very healthy diet (except for the pop tarts, but people, a woman needs her pop tarts). This situation is life-threatening. I am afraid of hurting myself. [...]

But there is one terrible drawback to this step I am taking toward sanity. The doctor told me that I have to wean Leta if I want to work up to therapeutic levels of these drugs. I have to stop breastfeeding in the next month.

Then read this response.

Comments

[ailbhe]

I just wrote to Dooce with tears dripping off my eyelashes onto the backs of my hands every time I blinked. Gods. I *loathe* people who make mothers feel guilty. I know two mothers who are torn between feeling guilty for supplementing their babies' diets with formula and leaving their babies *hungry*. They are feeling guilty because they don't want their babies to *starve*. That is so unfair. Apparently everyone should find breastfeeding as falling-off-a-log easy as I did, and if they don't it's their own fault.

That's so, so FUCKING WRONG.

I need somewhere to vent incoherently. And the time to do it in.