"Good morning, isn't it a lovely day today? Here's your towel." Essentially, you stifle your curiosity about her obvious disability because it's not appropriate to your clerk-customer role.
Suppose that this person isn't a complete stranger, and your role doesn't automatically preclude the asking of personal questions? I'm going to give some examples of when it's okay to talk/ask about disability.
When you are close enough to the person that you would ask other personal questions: fairoriana: Did your previous marriage end badly? Are you pregnant? What are those scars from?
When you are friends or at least reasonably well-acquainted and the other person brings it up or alludes to it: rivka: Man, this rain makes my joints ache. fairoriana: Oh, do you have arthritis?
rivka: I can't fasten this kind of necklace because of my arm. fairoriana: What's up with your arm, anyway?
When you have some compelling reason to know: fairoriana: We're having a party Saturday night, and we'd like you to come, but do you have any problem with stairs? We're on the second floor.
rivka: Oooh, swing dancing! Wanna dance? fairoriana: I'd love to. Is there any way I could hurt your arm if I twirl you?
When you wonder if a disabled person needs help doing something, ask about the help, not the disability:
fairoriana: Would you like to sit down? Can I give you a hand with that? Would you rather take the elevator?
(Note that you should take "no" for an answer in all of these cases, and that you should always ask before supplying help.)
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Date: 2004-07-26 10:08 am (UTC)"Good morning, isn't it a lovely day today? Here's your towel." Essentially, you stifle your curiosity about her obvious disability because it's not appropriate to your clerk-customer role.
Suppose that this person isn't a complete stranger, and your role doesn't automatically preclude the asking of personal questions? I'm going to give some examples of when it's okay to talk/ask about disability.
When you are close enough to the person that you would ask other personal questions:
When you are friends or at least reasonably well-acquainted and the other person brings it up or alludes to it:
When you have some compelling reason to know:
When you wonder if a disabled person needs help doing something, ask about the help, not the disability:
(Note that you should take "no" for an answer in all of these cases, and that you should always ask before supplying help.)
I hope this helps.