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Random encounters.
Jun. 6th, 2006 10:54 pmAbout six weeks ago, I noticed a woman watching Alex and me play in the park. ( Read more... )
Here's where I'm kind of hating myself: I haven't been able to shake the small, nagging suspicion that I got played. I'm obsessing about it a little, actually.
On the one hand, what are the odds that she'd even run into me again? That could hardly have been a setup. If she were scamming me, wouldn't she have tried to play it for more money after I made it clear that I believed her and was willing to give her something?
On the other hand, for some reason my gut isn't willing to let it rest. I don't know what that is - whether I subconsciously picked up on some sort of inconsistency or flaw in her manner, whether it's just the general "trust, but verify" approach I've picked up from working with my client population, whether I'm just reacting to the considerable social differences between us.
I just Googled for Baltimore homeless shelters, and found that there is in fact a women's emergency shelter in Reisterstown, run by the YWCA just as she had said. For what that's worth. (She hasn't called. For what that's worth - I'm not sure what access she'd have to a telephone, staying in a shelter.)
I'm trying to tell myself: if she played me, well, that performance was impressive enough to have earned her the $7.50. ($3.50 in cash, $4 in cafeteria stuff.) I'm out less than $10, and feeling like a fool doesn't actually injure a person. On the other hand, if she was telling the truth? Then passing her by would've done a lot more than $7.50 worth of damage to my soul.
"You didn't give her enough for a rock," my assistant Greta said. (It's the basic manufacturing and sales unit of crack cocaine.) And that's true. "We see research subjects every day that we know are using, and we pay them in cash knowing what they're going to do with it." Also true.
I wish I knew why this bothered me so much. Okay, okay, I know that it pushed all my buttons - domestic violence, woman and baby in peril. Maybe that alone is why I can't let the suspicion go.
Man, do I feel like a jerk for even letting liar-addict-scammer cross my mind, much less take up residence there.
Here's where I'm kind of hating myself: I haven't been able to shake the small, nagging suspicion that I got played. I'm obsessing about it a little, actually.
On the one hand, what are the odds that she'd even run into me again? That could hardly have been a setup. If she were scamming me, wouldn't she have tried to play it for more money after I made it clear that I believed her and was willing to give her something?
On the other hand, for some reason my gut isn't willing to let it rest. I don't know what that is - whether I subconsciously picked up on some sort of inconsistency or flaw in her manner, whether it's just the general "trust, but verify" approach I've picked up from working with my client population, whether I'm just reacting to the considerable social differences between us.
I just Googled for Baltimore homeless shelters, and found that there is in fact a women's emergency shelter in Reisterstown, run by the YWCA just as she had said. For what that's worth. (She hasn't called. For what that's worth - I'm not sure what access she'd have to a telephone, staying in a shelter.)
I'm trying to tell myself: if she played me, well, that performance was impressive enough to have earned her the $7.50. ($3.50 in cash, $4 in cafeteria stuff.) I'm out less than $10, and feeling like a fool doesn't actually injure a person. On the other hand, if she was telling the truth? Then passing her by would've done a lot more than $7.50 worth of damage to my soul.
"You didn't give her enough for a rock," my assistant Greta said. (It's the basic manufacturing and sales unit of crack cocaine.) And that's true. "We see research subjects every day that we know are using, and we pay them in cash knowing what they're going to do with it." Also true.
I wish I knew why this bothered me so much. Okay, okay, I know that it pushed all my buttons - domestic violence, woman and baby in peril. Maybe that alone is why I can't let the suspicion go.
Man, do I feel like a jerk for even letting liar-addict-scammer cross my mind, much less take up residence there.
