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Dealing with toddler dramatics.
Jun. 26th, 2007 02:22 pmIt is hard not to clash with a two-year-old a dozen times a day. They're stubborn. They can't bear to be rushed. They pick random and unreasonable things to develop incredibly strong opinions about, and dig in their heels with a vengeance. They're volatile. And it's usually over such trivia.
I'm empathetic about the big stuff - scraped knees, being left at nursery school, being promised something we later discover we can't deliver. The things that make sense to an adult mind. But I confess that it can be hard for me to seriously respect Alex's feelings when she's throwing a tantrum over not being able to climb into the carseat by herself, or being given the wrong color cup, or not getting "a sticky band-aid RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW" for a barely perceptible, bloodless scratch... you know, the stuff that really puts the meat in the "terrible twos" concept.
I've been unsuccessfully trying to approach these battles by reasoning with her. She seems so smart and verbal that you'd think it would help (all the parents out there are laughing at me right now), but it doesn't penetrate her intense emotions. It's not my style to just always lay down the law and refuse to brook any arguments from her. Neither is it my style to anxiously bend over backward making sure that she gets her way in everything.
So lately I've been experimenting with another way - as much as possible, sidestepping battles for control by introducing an element of play or humor or fantasy. Here's how it worked this morning. ( Example cut-tagged for potty content )
I'm empathetic about the big stuff - scraped knees, being left at nursery school, being promised something we later discover we can't deliver. The things that make sense to an adult mind. But I confess that it can be hard for me to seriously respect Alex's feelings when she's throwing a tantrum over not being able to climb into the carseat by herself, or being given the wrong color cup, or not getting "a sticky band-aid RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW" for a barely perceptible, bloodless scratch... you know, the stuff that really puts the meat in the "terrible twos" concept.
I've been unsuccessfully trying to approach these battles by reasoning with her. She seems so smart and verbal that you'd think it would help (all the parents out there are laughing at me right now), but it doesn't penetrate her intense emotions. It's not my style to just always lay down the law and refuse to brook any arguments from her. Neither is it my style to anxiously bend over backward making sure that she gets her way in everything.
So lately I've been experimenting with another way - as much as possible, sidestepping battles for control by introducing an element of play or humor or fantasy. Here's how it worked this morning. ( Example cut-tagged for potty content )
