Now that the insanity is over...

[rivka]

When you submit a research grant to the government, someone from your university signs the front page in a little box that says "administrative official to be notified if award is made." The scientific people at NIH (or wherever) talk to the lead scientist on the grant, and the money people talk to the administrative contact.

Guess what happens if your grant's administrative contact quits before the money is officially awarded?

You'd think it would be something sensible, like, the money person at NIH calls the lead scientist and says "where do you want us to send this big check?"

But instead, apparently, the money person waits and waits, getting more and more frustrated by the failure of the designated administrative person to return her calls and e-mails. Then she calls the lead scientist on a Wednesday and says, "if we don't have this large stack of papers by Friday, we're pulling your award."

So I met a $3 million deadline today.

Lydia is away at the Institute's annual faculty retreat. Both of us had to be there all day yesterday, and so did the Institute's lead grants administrator. (Fortunately, you don't have to actually pay attention at the faculty retreat, so we all spent a lot of time working.)

Among the things that have happened, since yesterday morning:

- We discovered that there doesn't seem to be a detailed breakdown for the budget figures in years 2-5, and that the numbers don't add up in any intuitive way. The person who created the total figures submitted in the grant has left the Institute, and the computer files she left behind don't explain anything.

- The one time I've ever given Lydia my only copy of an important document, she took it with her to the retreat instead of leaving it here for me to send in with the rest of the required materials. The retreat that's an hour away and out in the country.

- The network connection for both computers in my office is acting up. I couldn't print anything to the network printers.

- One of the required forms crashed my computer.

- At the last minute, I discovered that Lydia had given me the wrong fax number for the grant administrator.

- I didn't get any lunch until after I'd sent the damn thing in... somewhere around 3:30.

But it's in!

I think. I haven't gotten a confirmation call from the grant administrator, but the fax machine said the transmission went through.

Now I am so ready for the weekend...

Comments

[cheshyre]

So I met a $3 million deadline today.
Woo-hoo!!!

[So, how much of that money are you allowed to spend partying to celebrate you got the money? :) ]

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm getting a new desktop and laptop. I have already provided the specifications to my boss. :-)

She's also put in for "one professional meeting per year for two people," and odds are that I'll get to go at least half the time. So that's probably three all-expenses-paid trips to conferences, which is a nice little perq.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Whoa. Since drinking is out of the question, I'd say that you deserve, at the very least, a damn good foot rub.

-J

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Sweet suffering Jesus...

Congratulations on getting it all done. What a nightmare that must have been.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Whoa. You are a Mighty Goddess of Grant Writing.

At the very least, that ought to earn you dinner and a movie. (-:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

The actual grant was written long ago. This was the IRB application ("we will not harm our subjects, and here's why you can believe us," only about thirty pages long), and a bunch of miscellaneous supporting documentation. A bunch of miscellaneous supporting documentation.

But I'll still take dinner and a movie, especially if you're cooking. ;-)

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I figured, but I was short-cutting. Besides, "Goddess of IRB Applications" doesn't have quite the same ring to it (except, perhaps, to those of us who've gone mano a mano with our own IRBs...)

And if somebody would just get that doggoned teleporter working, I'd *so* cook you dinner. Hell, I'd even skip a whole weekend worth of pirate parties for the honor. (-:

[geekchick]

So I met a $3 million deadline today.

Woo! Congratulations! *bows before you and your vastly superior deadline-meeting skills* ;)

[edschweppe.livejournal.com]

You'd think it would be something sensible, like, the money person at NIH calls the lead scientist and says "where do you want us to send this big check?"
Naaah, I think they just want to drum up business for the National Institutes of Mental Health, and drive the grantees bonkers...

Anyway, multitudes of congratulations on getting through the paper jungle unscathed, with millions soon to be in tow!

[ranunculus.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful. Good Work!!!

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Wow! What a day.