(no subject)

[rivka]

I think that other pregnant women's parenting anxiety dreams involve human babies.

I dreamed that I had decided to buy a couple of rhesus monkeys. Two smallish adult females. They were in cages on my dining room table. I was taking care of their physical needs - in the dream, I kept refilling their water bottles - but I felt kind of guilty because I didn't feel much of a bond to them. I was just their matter-of-fact caretaker.

One day, we came home and there were two more cages with baby rhesus monkeys in them. "Oh yeah," I told Michael, "I told the company we'd be interested in babies if they were available. They're a lot more friendly and easier to bond with. They must have dropped them off while we were out."

I handed Michael one baby and held the other myself. It snuggled into my arm the way that baby monkeys do, and I stroked its soft fur. We talked about what we would need to take care of them, and I made plans to go to Rite-Aid to buy them some infant formula. I could really see this working out. But then I turned my baby monkey over, and saw that its chest showed signs of massive surgery. In fact, it had been so poorly sewn together afterward that I could see its tiny ribcage through the loose, clumsy sutures. It was absolutely horrifying.

I didn't know what to do, except call the company up and tell them to take all the monkeys away.

Comments

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Oh, argh.

That's certainly an interesting bit of caretaking anxiety to be digging up now.

[odanu.livejournal.com]

Actually, I dreamt that Head in Clouds was a an Ermine (you know, a white weasel) when I was pregnant with him. And Runs with Scissors was a litter of kittens. Don't feel alone...;)

[ailbhe]

Trust me, other women don't.

Well, sometimes they do, but often not.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

I'll spare you my pregnancy dreams, in fact I'll spare everyone most of my dreams altogether unless I ever get the urge to write horror. But I think it's quite normal for pregnancy anxiety dreams to be about animals you know well (like monkeys for you) rather than real babies when you don't know them well. I've heard other people mentioning cats and dogs and even goldfish.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

If it's any consolation, while she was pregnant with me my mother apparently had frequent dreams about giving birth to a very large baby hamster....

I have no idea what this implies about her, or me.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

The image of that poor little vivisected monkey is really haunting me. Probably it would die, right?

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

It's your monkey. I think that it heals with the natural resilience of babies and is then set free in a monkey-rehabilitation project.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Herm. I don't want to throw the obvious anxiety at you, but you had to have surgeries, and painful ones, that didn't fix you "all better".

Your baby will be fine... and it's perfectly normal to have anxieties that express themselves strangely.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Um...

Perhaps a mere monkey might have trouble. But I feel very strongly that this was none other than SuperMonkey Junior, who with his phenomenal powers of recuperation and empathy interposes himself between the less-fortunate and the harshness of the world around him, and in his spare moments wanders the dreams of concerned caregivers, attempting to reassure them with his simian cuteness.

Sometimes, admittedly, these jobs conflict.

[melebeth]

Ok. You just reminded me of my nightmare last night. I had forgotten what it was about :) But there was a pregnant woman with a fever, and she looked terrible.

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

That is a really creepy image. It's not surprising, given your probable set of anxieties about surgery, though.

I dreamt all the time that Baz was a puppy. Not far off, really.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

That is a really creepy image. It's not surprising, given your probable set of anxieties about surgery, though.

I read this and thought blithely, "I have no anxieties whatsoever about surgery." Then I realized: for ME. I have no fears related to my own inevitable future surgeries, but perhaps my subconscious is reminding me that having a sick or disabled baby would be a whole 'nother scenario.

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

That's what I was thinking of -- because of what you wrote on abortion, I got to thinking about how you see your parents in relation to your disability, and how you would feel in the same place.

I think my bizarre neurosis was a conviction that my child would be intersexed, and how I would have to argue with society about it. ?

[flyfreeizzie.livejournal.com]

I had wondered if the dream was related to disability as well especialy because you have been reading or thinking a lot about the "What could wrong during this time period" scenarios.

Its relatively rare that children are born with disabilities but their is always relative risk. Still, I guess no one actually "wants' a child with a disability except for me who wants to adopt one but adopting is different from giving birth.. at least thats my current thought. I just wonder what the fear is. I always have felt that my parents blame themselves for my health problems and disabilities from the various events, conversations ive had in re. or lack there of throughout my life. Its sad really because part of this perception has something to do with how society as a whole rejects those with disabilities so they can stay in their false protective bubble.

So back off my tangent. Anyways, monkeys are at least primates and Rhesus monkies are awfuly adorable even though we frequently see them associated with carrying some horrible virus such as Ebola!!! The fact that it was sick, I would think would reflect those fears that parents have of having a child that is somehow defective which im sure is completely normal of a fear.

ANyways, I dont know what im saying anylonger.
Take care and I guess one thing that can help which im sure you know is attempting to "guide your dreams." Ive been having issues with some disturbing dreams and my therapist suggested that I really try and work on my self-hypnosis techniques before bedtime and give my conscious/sunconscious plenty of what I want to dream about and maybe that will help!

Izzzz

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether you know that I have orthopedic disabilities. They are probably not heritable, but obviously I have given a lot of thought to the possibility of having a disabled child.

For me, the closer to the "uknown," the harder to think about. Orthopedic disabilities are very familiar to me, and I have the sense that I'd know how to handle them. Further away from my own disabilities, and especially crossing over into cognitive disabilities, it gets scarier.

[flyfreeizzie.livejournal.com]

I had wondered about that. In fact awhile ago, I left a comment but wasnt sure if you would see it as soooo many people had left comments in your journal re. behavioral medicine... a field in extremely interested in. When I was looking for a LJ community related, nothing really came out of hit except among people interested was your name so thats how I came to add you but I was hoping in time to learn more about your expereinces here and even the more so because of living with a disability. Im looking into pursuing graduate traning in the area but also have a lot of difficulties related to my disabilities.

As far as parenting.. its interesting because yes, cognitive disabilities are somewhat more frigtening to me as well in terms of having children. I can manage physical disabilities because of my own expereinces as well but at the same time, I somehow cant imagine actually having a child with a disability.... I think I would feel guilty.. I dont know.

Anyways, dreams are interesting to say the least! I took the MMPI-2 this past Friday and there were a few questions pertaning to dreams which I found interesting and thought provking in itself...

Well, I better get back to my studies but I would be interested in learning more about your behavioral medicine expereinces, traning etc esp as a person with a disability.

FlyfreeIzzie

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

The first thing I thought when I read this was "Of course! Harry Harlow's monkeys!"

And yes, I can see where the image of the poor monkey would be very disturbing, even in a dream.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Poor darling. *hug*

I know it's a bizarre stress dream, but I just have to say that I know you'd do everything you possibly could for that little monkey.

[lisajulie.livejournal.com]

So, what does this say that the same night I had two consecutive dreams about you and your pregnancy?

The first one was that your doctors were blatantly discouraging you from any ultrasounds with the (specious) justification that "the baby would be born dead or alive and it didn't matter which one it was."

I woke up from that one very, very, upset.

I went back to sleep worrying that I would continue the previous dream.

But, then I dreamed that you were delivering the baby and I and a currently pregnant friend of mine were there and the baby come easily and was sitting up just after delivery and was perfect in every aspect.

I woke up from that one so relieved.

Just to say there is _no_ control over one's subconscious.