What trinker said, since she said what I wanted to say, only she did it both first and better.

You are so not an idiot.

Vitamin E oil, or cocoa butter, or (my wife's favorite skin care product line) L'Occitane shea butter; massage or topical heat or acupuncture or just soothing hands; you'll find something (or a combination of somethings) that will help ease the pain without giving you reason to worry about gestational issues. I have no personal experience to offer (not being equipped for it, as it were) but I have confidence in you, and you're in my thoughts.