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There's this thing that happens as a baby grows - the ligaments that hold the uterus in place stretch and pull. It hurts. I'm told by pregnancy advice books that it should feel like either "a dull ache" or a "brief stabbing pain" lasting only a couple of seconds.

Here's the thing: when I was thirteen, I had surgery for scoliosis. I have a scar that runs from my stomach - even with my belly button, and just about centered over the midpoint of my right thigh - around my side, curving upward, ending at my spine just below my shoulder blade. Everything under the area covered by that scar has been extensively messed with.

My round ligaments are attached to, and pulling at, scar tissue.

It hurts like hell. When it's hurting, it feels like I've been beaten on the side with sticks. Sometimes it's hard to catch my breath. The skin around the lower part of the scar feels weird, sort of stretched and tight, with a return of some of the numbness and tingling-to-the-touch that I had for a long time after surgery. My back aches.

It hurts most when I'm sitting, especially sitting in one place for a long time. Driving, say, or working at my computer. Placing a pillow, or rolled-up jacket, or something, behind the small of my back helps. Getting up and moving around hurts more at first, but then it really helps. Exercise feels good, if I can muster the energy after being in pain all day. Lying down helps, mostly, but sometimes pain in my side makes it hard to sleep.

Painkillers are so tempting. I've taken Tylenol once. But realistically speaking, I can probably expect to be dealing with this kind of pain for months. I don't think it would be good for the baby to take Tylenol every day for months. So I'm working on non-medicated pain relief: changes of position, exercise, back support. My midwife brought up the possibility of using a back brace or abdominal support band as my pregnancy continues. She also said that I can use a heating pad, which seems odd if I'm not supposed to take hot baths. If the pain gets worse, I might try acupuncture. It's expensive and a hassle, but at least it shouldn't have gestational side effects.

I feel really stupid for not anticipating this. I gave so much thought to how my hip might be affected by pregnancy - consulted my orthopedist, read articles from scientific journals, made contingency plans for what I'll do if the increased weight and hip stress makes walking impossible by the end of pregnancy. I was ready for that. I thought about my spinal fusion (also part of the scoliosis surgery) in terms of what it would mean if I wanted an epidural, or if I needed a C-section under spinal anaesthetic. I didn't even think about my side, how messed-up it is, how much scar tissue must be involved, and how the baby is going to be right there for most of my pregnancy.

I am an idiot.

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you are not an idiot. you are pregnant for the first time. all pregnant women have to deal with body changes and problems. your body is more complicated than most women's bodies. and, you can't be expected to think of everything when you are having a first time experience.

(that being said, i am not pregnant, i have never been pregnant, i wasn't even pregnant on tv ;) )

there are only so many contingencies a person can plan for.

hmm. you can't be the first woman who had scoliosis surgery to get knocked up after. maybe try asking in the usenet pregnancy groups, or look for webboards?

(also, on the small bright side portion of the program, a person could hope that most of the bad parts of pulling on scar tissue will be gotten over with this baby, and the next time will be easier due to things having been pulled loose. i'll hope for that, at least.)

A local woman

ideageek had serious ligament problems during her pregnancy and found that she was able to sit on a yoga ball comfortably. She had one at home, one in office, and one that she took with her to places she would be a while. I will point here here

You're not an idiot -- and for that matter, I don't see what you could have done if you *had* anticipated it. Somehow I can't imagine you thinking: "This is going to hurt. Well, I'd better not get pregnant, then!" ;-)

That said, I'm sorry this is going on. It sucks.

-J

I think the difference between hot baths vs heating pads is that with the heating pad, the heat is localized instead of enveloping your abdomen. yes, it sounds like for some of it you'd have the heading pad on part of your stomach, but the baby is smart and will move to the other side. also, it's a dry heat which, iirc, is less penetrating. and a heating pad on your back shouldn't bother the baby at all i wouldnt think.

of course, i've got similar disclaimers to your first poster (never been pregnant, not even on tv).

I was thinking something similar, along with the fact that a heating pad probably doesn't raise body temperature, other than locally. A hot bath will raise the entire body temperature briefly, I imagine.

disclaimer: never been pregnant, but i was a birth assistant for one of my best friends, and was with her for almost every day of her pregnancy.

the changes that happen in the human body during preganancy are immense. there is *no way* to predict everything that is going to happen during the course of a pregnancy, or even during the course of a birth. you can prepare, but ultimately, the changes that happen are of such a complexity that just getting a good idea of what *might* happen is pretty damn good.

which is why women have the benefit of great midwives and doulas and the like, who've dealt with lots of pregnancies.

you're not an idiot. you're one of the most concientious people i know, thoughtful and careful -- just not "All Knowing". but i don't know any one who is all knowing, so, there ya go! :)

i'm sorry you're in pain. and i am hoping that you can find some good pain relievers (in non drug form) to help with it.

if it's welcome, i'm sending you a hug.

n.

Same disclaimers, but would massage help? Maybe with some of the things people recommend using on scars, like Vitamin E oil? (I don't know if that's safe, obviously, and would recommend asking your midwife before trying any topical preparation.)

That's a great idea, actually. Lots of pregnant women use vitamin E oil to try to prevent stretch marks. If nothing else, it might help with the stretched-skin feeling. Thanks.

I was going to suggest cocoa butter or some other lotion that will make the skin and scar tissue right there a little softer so that it won't pull as much.

*hugs* You are not an idiot. This is your first time, and this is not something you would find in the books. And, as

kalm said, there are only so many contingencies a person can plan for.

Other people have already explained that you're not an idiot.

You're experiencing that "battle plans, and then the actual battle" thing that someone could tell you all about. You've done a great deal of preparatory work, and are thus ready for many things, this one wasn't obvious enough for you to plan for beforehand.

I don't know enough to offer advice, just...what's the English word for what I want? Sympathy?

What

trinker said, since she said what I wanted to say, only she did it both first and better.

You are so not an idiot.

Vitamin E oil, or cocoa butter, or (my wife's favorite skin care product line) L'Occitane shea butter; massage or topical heat or acupuncture or just soothing hands; you'll find something (or a combination of somethings) that will help ease the pain without giving you reason to worry about gestational issues. I have no personal experience to offer (not being equipped for it, as it were) but I have confidence in you, and you're in my thoughts.

Do you still have the Monoi I once gave you? If not, I think I can scrounge up another bottle or two to send your way.

P suggests finding a massage therapist who is experienced at loosening surgical adhesions and scar tissue.

I'm sure I'd feel pretty dumb too. I hope you can find something that helps soon.

Massage and acupuncture both seem like good ideas. When my ex was pregnant, she took massage classes and found out that the local massage school really wanted pregnant women to practice on, because it's pretty different and a lot of women want massages then. I don't know if you have a school that's easy to get to, but it might be a thing to look at.

I'm mostly here to offer sympathy, like everyone else. I'm having the ligament pains, but usually for just a minute or so at a time, like the books say. I can't imagine combining that with scar tissue and how that would change it.

That said, my skin across my middle often feels stretched tight the way you describe. I second/third/fourth everyone's recommendations for lotion of some kind - I've been using cocoa butter lotion on my belly for months now (I'm a bit of a lotion addict), and it often helps a bit. Some days, just rubbing it on feels wonderful.

And my back hurts too - right now, it has hurt for the past 24 hours (except when I slept, actually). I'm curled up with a heating pad and going back to bed (which is a little more comfortable) shortly. I haven't taken anything either - I'm trying to think of ways to relax those muscles without medication.

I'm finding that this is what weekends are for now (for me), is taking care of myself in these ways. I don't necessarily have time to do these things during the week, but I can loll about today in total laziness under the guise of getting to feel better.

I really don't have anything to add, so I'll repeat what others are saying: I don't think you're an idiot for not being able to anticipate everything that will or may happen, and I hope you find something soon that will ease your pain.

I wonder what the heating pad is supposed to accomplish, and I wonder why a cold pack wasn't recommmended instead, and I wonder if there's some reason a cold pack would be a bad thing during pregnancy generally.

K. [also backs the massage idea. You can heal a lot of injuries with trigger point massage]

The heating pad is just supposed to feel good, I think, and not do anything curative. I think of cold packs as being for recent injuries, to reduce swelling, which is why I haven't used one.

Ow, I hope braces or something similar really help!

Ow ow ow! *gentle hug*

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. And I'll join the chorus of "You're not an idiot!" Would you have done anything differently if you'd realized in advance that the stretching would be this much of a problem? Is there anything you could have done in advance to prevent or minimize it? Yeah, it would have been nice if you'd been mentally prepared for it but that boat has sailed and smacking yourself around isn't going to do anything.

Also, if it seems at all likely that sitting on one of those balls will assist you with this or any other pregnancy wibbles, I've got one you can borrow for the duration.

Also, if it seems at all likely that sitting on one of those balls will assist you with this or any other pregnancy wibbles, I've got one you can borrow for the duration.

Seriously? Like, you don't use it at all? Because I think it probably would be a helpful thing to have around, but I wouldn't want to deprive you of something you use for exercise.

Also: are you crazy enough to consider driving to Baltimore on a work night? Because Melissa Ferrick is playing a small club here on Dec 1, but it's a Wednesday night.

Seriously?

Of course seriously! I don't make offers unless I mean them.

Also: are you crazy enough to consider driving to Baltimore on a work night? Because Melissa Ferrick is playing a small club here on Dec 1, but it's a Wednesday night.

Melissa Ferrick? Small club? Yeah, I'm that crazy. We just have a lab meeting the next morning so I wouldn't need to be coherent. Not that I need the justification or anything because even if it turns out that I'm supposed to present on the 2nd, I'm still going to go to that concert.

Ouch! That sucks.

I used an abdominal support belt thingy off and on throughout my pregnancy and found it to be very helpful. I still haven't mailed that box (bad Tammy - this week, I promise!) - so I'll throw it in there for you in case it helps.

If you're stupid, imagine how dumb I am for not realising "Everyone in my family is tiny; everyone in Rob's family is big; maybe my baby won't be a 6-pound dolly."

I found that underpants with a support band were incredibly helpful for my bump, and wish now I'd bought them earlier in pregnancy - next time I will wear them as soon as the ache begins. I wore them over regular underpants so that I didn't need to buy so many pairs. I also used a lot of body butter. I don't know whether either of these things will scale.

Speak to an OB/GYN about pain relief - a certain amount of chemical pain relief is fine, and actually may be better / less harmful for the baby than your pain-stress chemicals. Talk to the experts.

Aromatherapy.

A.

I find that pelvic tilts have helped with baby-induced backaches (i.e., Junior smashing his head into my spine), though perhaps they would be less useful for your type of back pain. I have a friend who has had back pain since she was a teenager, and when she started working with a physical therapist a few years ago, the PT recommended various exercises with an exercise ball, which helped tremendously.

They sell topical ibuprofen on the internet, which another friend recommends, as it doesn't eat up your stomach lining. Perhaps that might be worth checking out.

Good luck!

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