(no subject)

[rivka]

There's this thing that happens as a baby grows - the ligaments that hold the uterus in place stretch and pull. It hurts. I'm told by pregnancy advice books that it should feel like either "a dull ache" or a "brief stabbing pain" lasting only a couple of seconds.

Here's the thing: when I was thirteen, I had surgery for scoliosis. I have a scar that runs from my stomach - even with my belly button, and just about centered over the midpoint of my right thigh - around my side, curving upward, ending at my spine just below my shoulder blade. Everything under the area covered by that scar has been extensively messed with.

My round ligaments are attached to, and pulling at, scar tissue.

It hurts like hell. When it's hurting, it feels like I've been beaten on the side with sticks. Sometimes it's hard to catch my breath. The skin around the lower part of the scar feels weird, sort of stretched and tight, with a return of some of the numbness and tingling-to-the-touch that I had for a long time after surgery. My back aches.

It hurts most when I'm sitting, especially sitting in one place for a long time. Driving, say, or working at my computer. Placing a pillow, or rolled-up jacket, or something, behind the small of my back helps. Getting up and moving around hurts more at first, but then it really helps. Exercise feels good, if I can muster the energy after being in pain all day. Lying down helps, mostly, but sometimes pain in my side makes it hard to sleep.

Painkillers are so tempting. I've taken Tylenol once. But realistically speaking, I can probably expect to be dealing with this kind of pain for months. I don't think it would be good for the baby to take Tylenol every day for months. So I'm working on non-medicated pain relief: changes of position, exercise, back support. My midwife brought up the possibility of using a back brace or abdominal support band as my pregnancy continues. She also said that I can use a heating pad, which seems odd if I'm not supposed to take hot baths. If the pain gets worse, I might try acupuncture. It's expensive and a hassle, but at least it shouldn't have gestational side effects.

I feel really stupid for not anticipating this. I gave so much thought to how my hip might be affected by pregnancy - consulted my orthopedist, read articles from scientific journals, made contingency plans for what I'll do if the increased weight and hip stress makes walking impossible by the end of pregnancy. I was ready for that. I thought about my spinal fusion (also part of the scoliosis surgery) in terms of what it would mean if I wanted an epidural, or if I needed a C-section under spinal anaesthetic. I didn't even think about my side, how messed-up it is, how much scar tissue must be involved, and how the baby is going to be right there for most of my pregnancy.

I am an idiot.

Comments

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Other people have already explained that you're not an idiot.

You're experiencing that "battle plans, and then the actual battle" thing that someone could tell you all about. You've done a great deal of preparatory work, and are thus ready for many things, this one wasn't obvious enough for you to plan for beforehand.

I don't know enough to offer advice, just...what's the English word for what I want? Sympathy?

[ckd]

What trinker said, since she said what I wanted to say, only she did it both first and better.

You are so not an idiot.

Vitamin E oil, or cocoa butter, or (my wife's favorite skin care product line) L'Occitane shea butter; massage or topical heat or acupuncture or just soothing hands; you'll find something (or a combination of somethings) that will help ease the pain without giving you reason to worry about gestational issues. I have no personal experience to offer (not being equipped for it, as it were) but I have confidence in you, and you're in my thoughts.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Do you still have the Monoi I once gave you? If not, I think I can scrounge up another bottle or two to send your way.