This is just to say

[rivka]

I'm not doing very well.

I'm crying at work.

Thoughts of miscarriage keep crossing my mind. Not as in, wanting to have one, but as in, how could the baby possibly live through this?

I know that's crazy.

But when the majority of my fellow Americans have given their stamp of approval to the architects of Abu Ghraib, where can I find hope? How can I be a parent in this world?

Comments

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I oppose this continuing administration because of my concern and fondness for my friends who are engaged in military service.

That's right, I said my friends. My thoughtful friends who signed up to protect their country and the constitution it stands for. They didn't sign up with the intent of going to fight a pre-emptive war or to torture people. It shows them no honor and no friendship to insist that this thing they are being asked to do is the right thing.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

**It shows them no honor and no friendship to insist that this thing they are being asked to do is the right thing.**

And it does them no honor and no friendship to either tell them that the war they're being asked to fight is the "wrong thing", usually followed by "illegal and immoral", as I've been told while waiting in the grocery store line, either.

I've been told by my pagan, more liberal friends that they support me, but gee they wish that I wasn't deploying to support the war started by this evil administration. By those lights, *I'm* evil, if I deploy, because I'm perpetuating evil by doing the works of an evil entity. How's that supporting me? I'm leaving my family, my husband, my schooling, my *life* for an evil cause? I'm not sure that I can agree with that.

Granted, YMMV.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Does it do more honor to pretend that I believe that the thing they are asked to do is the right thing?

Why?

Are your friends telling you you're evil, or are you jumping to that conclusion?

I believe that you are going because you promised to go where you were asked to go. I don't believe that you should have been asked to go there.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

**Are your friends telling you you're evil, or are you jumping to that conclusion?**

There's no jumping. From my limited understanding, Orthodoxy is very clear on evil, and the actions of the Evil One.

If I agree that this administration is evil, then following the orders dictated by the administration is evil. Doing actions in the service of an evil entity makes those actions evil. No matter the motivation behind them, those actions are still evil.

And being told that I'm perpetuating evil is something I take very seriously. I will not have the chance to take Communion for the better part of 18 months. If my actions are evil, then if something happens to me, I will be judged as a unreedeemed sinner. (I'd really rather not get into Christianity being a horrible religion, if no one minds. I'm incredibly happy as an Orthodox Christian, and will be talking to my priest before deploying.)

**I believe that you are going because you promised to go where you were asked to go. I don't believe that you should have been asked to go there.**

As of right now, to me, it's a moot point. We need to quit hashing over what's done, and figure out how to accomplish what we promised the Iraqis. That's all.

I didn't agree with this war, but I refuse to slap my husband's face by telling him that he was wrong to do what he did. At this point, I know too many people who've deployed, and too many that have died to blanket the whole war with "wrong".

I doubt that I'm making sense with what I'm trying to say.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I'm reading what you're saying as, "because I have to do what I have to do, I cannot examine too closely, despite the fact that it's important to me because I believe truly in the peril to my immortal soul".

Are your individual actions evil? Not so far as I know. Do I believe some measure of the things this current administration is doing are evil? Yes, I do. They may not be evil in your worldview. I don't know.

I believe Vietnam was wrong. John Kerry has testified that he saw things there that were wrong. That does not lead me to believe that the military or soldiers individually are evil.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

**I'm sorry. I'm reading what you're saying as, "because I have to do what I have to do, I cannot examine too closely, despite the fact that it's important to me because I believe truly in the peril to my immortal soul".**

Don't be sorry. I'm relatively ignorant, and don't communicate terribly well, despite being frighteningly intelligent.

I have to do what I've agreed to. If I don't, then I break the oaths I made, and integrity is something I've become an absolute fanatic about recently.

I will look at what I'm being asked to do, but if my word, my integrity, is to mean *anything*, then I have to honor the oaths I've sworn, to include supporting my CinC, as well as the officers appointed over me, unless and until I am given an order that directly contradicts the Laws of Land Warfare, and the UCMJ.

One of the things that came up during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal was that we, in uniform, are not allowed to voice criticism of the CinC, so I'm also in a bit of a bind there. There is one soldier who is being brought up on charges, so I'm wary of blabbing too much. (Geez, that sounds like such a supah-seekrit squirrel copout, but it's not. I think ginmar's mentioned it.)

Again, I will not agree that this administration is evil. Wrong, yes, and since they're all human, sinners and lowly ones, but I don't think that they're truly evil. Their worldview is so radically different from mine that I don't understand it, but I would hesitate to call it evil. Is the Evil One rejoicing over the dissent and discord the current administration is sowing? Oh you bet!

Ah! I'm so not quailified to answer these questions, and I won't have time to bring them up to my spiritual father or my Godmama before I have to leave for drill. Please, don't take *anything* that I'm saying as the Orthodox interpretation, please?

**I believe Vietnam was wrong. John Kerry has testified that he saw things there that were wrong. That does not lead me to believe that the military or soldiers individually are evil.**

No, they're not.

However, if this war *is* evil, then, they're evildoers. Nothing says that you have to be evil through and through to do evil acts. One of the most evil acts is to do *nothing* in the face of what you perceive as evil. So, it's kind of an odd place to stand, where I am.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Again, I will not agree that this administration is evil. Wrong, yes, and since they're all human, sinners and lowly ones, but I don't think that they're truly evil. Their worldview is so radically different from mine that I don't understand it, but I would hesitate to call it evil. Is the Evil One rejoicing over the dissent and discord the current administration is sowing? Oh you bet!

Ah! I'm so not quailified to answer these questions, and I won't have time to bring them up to my spiritual father or my Godmama before I have to leave for drill. Please, don't take *anything* that I'm saying as the Orthodox interpretation, please?

I have been assuming that you are speaking only for yourself. Maybe now is a good time to ask you what your definition of evil is. Or maybe I should first ask rivka if she minds our continuing this discussion here.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

**I have been assuming that you are speaking only for yourself. Maybe now is a good time to ask you what your definition of evil is. Or maybe I should first ask rivka if she minds our continuing this discussion here.**

Part of what shapes my veiw of evil is my religion.

Let me know if we need to move this. I may muse on this in my journal.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Since this has become exclusively a dialogue, why don't y'all take it elsewhere.

Sure.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

Sorry to have barged into your LJ. Followed you here from another journal.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

*I'm* evil, if I deploy, because I'm perpetuating evil by doing the works of an evil entity.

No. Really, it just does not work that way. As long as you obey the lawful orders of those appointed over you, and look out for your own troops, and do the best job you can, then irrespective of the motivations of those who sent you into harm's way, you are not doing evil.

The civilians have a civic duty to maintain discourse about any protracted military actions. They're doing a very good job of it this time around. Much better than they did in Vietnam.

If you want to talk more about this, drop me a note. wcg AT livejournal DOT com