Slightly edited meme.

[rivka]

The problem with LJ: we have such bad memories that we don't necessarily remember what we've learned about each other. Or there never seems to be an opportune time to ask.

If you'd like, ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that might be obvious, but you have no idea about.

Ask away. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

For you, my dear, a question:

When and how did you figure out that polyamory was for you?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

In the fall of 1992, I met my girlfriend Lane. She was married, they were poly - although they didn't use that word. She and her husband both identified as primarily queer and saw each other as a relatively uncommon exception. I was very, very startled when she started coming on to me, and we had a big discussion among the three of us. But then her relationship with her husband fell apart quickly after she and I got together - among other things, he decided that he wanted to be involved with me too, and they fought about it. They broke up, messily. With all the intervening drama, I didn't get a particularly good impression of poly.

In the winter of 1993, Lane and I had a close, emotionally intimate connection with our mutual best friend, Hilary. That relationship, um, came to fruition at the annual women-only dance sponsored by the college Women's Center, which was called Girlz Night. (Yeah, I know, but we were young and it was the early 90s. Everybody talked that way.)

The dance was notoriously a hotbed of girl-on-girl flirting and experimentation. We covered the windows of the hall with paper. Women showed up wearing their best lingerie under their clothes, because quite a few layers were shed as the evening went on. So, in this alcohol-and-estrogen-fueled atmosphere, somehow Hilary ended up on Lane's lap, kissing us alternately as I stood beside them. We took her home that night, and in the morning the three of us decided that it wasn't a bad idea at all.

We had no positive poly role models. We had never heard of the term "polyamory." We knew of no poly resources. We were afraid to come out. But we had a very happy and sweet little secret triad until, as you probably remember, Hilary died.