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[rivka]

There's a younger guy at English Country Dance who's been flirting with me. Sam. I think he flirts with at least two-thirds of the women he dances with - it's a fun way to pass the time, and the structure of the dances calls for a lot of lingering eye contact, and so a lot of people flirt.

About a week ago, he started to pay me more attention. It started when I dropped a quick kiss on Bill's lips on my way up the dance with Sam, who at the time was otherwise occupied gazing deeply into the eyes of his corner. Not that deeply apparently, because...

"I didn't realize you were with him," he said, when we were out at the top of the dance.
"Actually, I'm with both of them."
"Both of..."
I point them out. "Misha, and Bill."
"Ah!"
"Are you shocked?"
"No."

And indeed, he didn't seem shocked. He seemed fascinated. He hung around with me and Misha at the end of the evening, while I was changing my shoes, and we wound up inviting him out for a drink, and the first words out of his mouth when we sat down in the bar were "tell me about your happy poly family." And it turned out that he himself longed to be poly, and had recently been broken up with by the woman of his dreams because she didn't see things the same way, and how did you meet people who were willing to be poly, and...

And we tried to encourage him, and I think we left him feeling less alone. Saturday we saw him again at another dance, and he and I flirted and cuddled again (as we'd been doing right along, even when he thought I was monogamously married), and the three of us went out again afterward. This time for coffee.

Late in the evening, when Misha had gone off to the restroom, Sam turned to me and said, "So, are you trying to seduce me?"

And I said, "Well, I like you and enjoy spending time with you, but I already have not enough time for the number of partners I have. What I'd like to do is be friends with you, and continue to flirt with you, and cuddle a bit, and not try to start a relationship."

And he said something along the lines of, "Okay, cool." And we went back to the general conversation, and had an extremely pleasant hug at the end of the evening, and that was that.

I don't think I've ever had that type of situation go so smoothly before. It was friendly, and matter-of-fact, and direct, and not even a little bit fraught. Instead of getting all tense about having to turn him down without hurting his feelings, I just wound up wanting to spend more time with him in the future.

It makes me want to find him a nice poly girlfriend. *grin*

(Oh - and he says to me, as we're leaving him at his car: "I take it you're the dom in this relationship?" *snicker* Why do people keep making that mistake?)

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[rivka.livejournal.com]

So, anyone out there want to be fixed up? *grin* He's a good dancer.