The last time.

[rivka]

curiousangel is picking me up in about an hour so that I can drive him to the airport. He's going to Chicago for the weekend. I've been thinking, "Hm, good for him to have the chance to get away before the baby is born and madness descends." But then, this morning, it occurred to me:

This will probably be my last weekend alone. For years and years.

Michael and I will probably go away together for kid-free weekends. I will probably stay home with the kid(s) while he goes on visits or business trips. He will probably stay home with the kid(s) while I go off to visit a friend or partner, or to a professional conference. We'll go on whole-family trips together. But I bet this is my last weekend to have the house to myself, nothing in particular planned, and - for the most part - no obligations to consider anyone else's schedule.

What a strange feeling.

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

It's probably true. But it's also true, as my mother told me, that you learn to be more efficient in your laziness. Now, instead of needing a whole day alone to unwind every couple months, I really do fine with 6 hours.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not complaining. It just suddenly struck me.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I've had those kinds of realization, the ones that make you sit up and go "Whoa ..."

I think the startle comes in part from the fact that most Big Life Changes are recognized only after the fact, when we've had a chance to adjust to them for better or for worse.

In any case, enjoy your weekend. (-:

[ailbhe]

Or you might each take the kid *away* - you might take the kid to visit your friends or partners while the other one stays home alone.

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

I suspect that we may have times when one of us says, "I'm going away for the weekend, and don't call me unless someone dies". But barring something like that... yes, it's going to be weird.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

The times, they are a-changin'.

[dragon3.livejournal.com]

I think you may find that it can be valuable for a parent's sanity if the other parent occasionally goes somewhere else and takes the critter along. Not to mention that critters often like adventures and chances to meet new people.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

I used to regularly take zorinth with me when I went to visit rysmiel, leaving carandol to have a weekend alone at home. This was when Z was about five. Z used to like going on the train, and he used to like watching videos in R's house (we didn't, and don't, have a TV. This is a good choice with small children, not only for the obvious reasons but because they will behave themselves in the cinema and find it a charming extra thing when they go on holiday) and R didn't mind having a small child around because it was a novelty, and C got a weekend free while I saw a partner, rather than a weekend of childcare. It seemed generally more fair, even though Cambridge is one of the least child friendly places I've ever been.

[windsea.livejournal.com]

I bet this is my last weekend to have the house to myself, nothing in particular planned, and - for the most part - no obligations to consider anyone else's schedule.

It may be the last one that is routine and requires relatively little *advance* planning or negotiation. Don't assume, however, that it's the last you'll have with that lovely sense of **I get to invent my own life right now**.

In my case, for example, H -- or I -- have taken the kids to Winnipeg to his parents and brother/sister-in-law, and I have had a week or two weeks of blissful solitude at least every second summer.

My parents have had both kids at their place on Prince Edward Island, for a week every summer, since they've been out of diapers -- H and I have used the resulting time both jointly and separately, to rest and recharge.

But, yes, overall, things are about to change. For me, it was very much a question of how I framed it ... I could grieve for what was gone, or I could find what was fun to replace it. But sometimes, no matter how I tried to trick myself, the sense of loss prevailed ... and sometimes, I was blindsided by joy in the mundane activities of toddlerdom, that I would never have realized were fun before.

[mcduff.livejournal.com]

Ah, another reminder why I am unfit to ensure the continued survival of the human race. I'm pleased there are some crazy people around to do the shit I'd never consider doing in a million years... ;)

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Heh. Knowing your own temperament is a good thing. :-)

[xopher-vh.livejournal.com]

Wow. That IS a big deal.

Oddly, though, I find myself envying you. Maybe because weekends alone are the default case for me.

[lcohen]

who the hell goes to chicago in february? *g*

once the kid(s) are a little older, they may go to camps, on school trips, etc. if you boot michael out of the house for part of those occasions, you might get some alone time sooner than you think. or other creative solutions. but yes, hard to predict all the little things that will be different. *big hug*

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

My mother had some alone-time almost every Sunday morning. My father would take my brother and me with him to go hang out up at the firehouse (he's in the local volunteer department), and leave my mother at home alone to decompress. I got the feeling she was very grateful for the downtime :)