(no subject)

[rivka]

Walking back home from the cafe where I had brunch, I saw a blind guy standing on the streetcorner waiting for the light to change.

A car pulled up on the cross street, and the passenger jumped out and jogged up to the blind guy. "Hey, do you need some help getting across the street?"

"No," the other guy said politely, "I'm just waiting for the light."

At that moment, the light changed. The sighted guy said so, and walked across the street alongside the blind guy. Then he came back, got in the car, and drove away.

I know that the sighted guy was just trying to be helpful and nice. But my question is this: how did he think the blind guy got to that corner, anyway? Didn't it occur to him to wonder how the guy handled every other intersection between his point of origin and his destination? Didn't he wonder why someone would head out alone for a walk if he wasn't capable of handling basic walking tasks like crossing the street?

I would certainly point out any unusual barriers to a blind person - "hey, they've got the sidewalk blocked off up ahead, so you might want to cross over to the other side of Read Street." But, for the most part, I assume that people with disabilities don't start off doing things that they're not capable of doing. Maybe that's just me.

Comments

Altruism

[hal-obrien.livejournal.com]

I think this is an example of what Heinlein meant when he said, "Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

That is, I don't think most people who are helpful in this manner really have the welfare of the recipient at heart ("Ooh. A blind guy. He needs help."). Rather, I think the main motivation is one of self-affirmation ("See, world? I'm the kind of person who helps blind guys!"). At which point the question of whether the blind guy was able to do the task under his own power is somewhat moot (in the American sense).

Having this point of view, I nearly always temper my regard for my "good deeds" (such as they are) with a skepticism as to whether I did them for my benefit or the recipient's -- and also how I can maximize the latter while minimizing the former. The best outcome, of course, is when it's for both. :)

Re: Altruism

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I believe that the desire to help is just another impulae (in some people, quite a strong one), not a proof of virtue. As with other impulses, the desire to help needs to be shaped by having some idea of what's going on.

[lisajulie.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd guess that the nice guy didn't actually _think_. He saw a situation, thought he could help, and leapt out to do something.

As I recall, some time back you posted about a situation when someone passed out? fainted? on public transit and there was a person willing to dismiss the situation so that that person could get to wherever they were going.

That's the flip side of the situation you just witnessed.

I would argue that, as part of upbringing, children be instructed in reasonable ways of interacting with people with disabilities (i.e. offer help, if someone is perceived as struggling; back off if someone is coping just fine).

But. I'm much happier that someone tried to do something that was viewed as helping someone else than just focusing on their own needs.

BTW, in Washington, DC, there are intersections that have audio signals so visually impaired people know which one is safe to cross. Intersections a block away from these don't have this accommodation.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I have never forgotten an article I read more than 15 years ago, by a blind woman talking about getting around in an urban area. The moment of truth was the moment that she climbed onto a bus with her cup of coffee and a sighted person dropped a quarter into the coffee ...

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Ouch. *wince*

[journeywoman.livejournal.com]

I sometimes offer assistance, particularly when someone's been standing at a corner through several light changes. But I don't force my help on anyone, as the person you described did. Offering just seems like a polite thing to do. When I lived in DC, I once walked an elderly blind woman most of the way back to her house, and she seemed very grateful--not only for the help, but just for having someone to talk to.

[brooksmoses]

This reminds me of a when I was recently crossing a street with a blind man -- there was a large crowd of us, mostly leaving a concert, and amongst the crowd was a large, cheerfully boisterous thirtysomething blind man and his two friends. The following conversation took place when the light changed (and made the "you can cross now" sound, as San Francisco lights are wont to do):

"Hey, do I get to cane a car this time across, too?"

"Yeah, there's a Bug in the middle of the walkway about halfway across."

*with obvious relish* "Cool!"

[firecat]

Back when I was reading dot_gimp_snark that sort of behavior was regularly held up for ridicule.

[odanu.livejournal.com]

Since in the last year I have become friends with several blind people, most of them blinded in adulthood and therefore not quite as mobile as someone raised blind, I have learned some blind etiquette.
1) It is completely appropriate to offer help, but you should back down immediately if help is declined.
2) Always ask the owner before paying *any* attention to a guide dog.
3) Lead a person by offering them your elbow, not your arm, and if the way ahead narrows, move your arm behind your boy so the person knows that things are going to get narrow.
4) directional devices such as counting steps, clock positions (from the blind person's perspective) and giving directions by large, easily identifiable landmarks can help
5) don't assume that blind means "cannot see at all". Most blind people have some vision left and are able to read or navigate their environment with the help of assistive devices. The blind person with no sight at all is the exception, not the rule.
6) 20% of us go blind after the age of 65. Knowing how to navigate without sight could become very important to you in the future...so could compassion.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people are getting on with things, and sometimes they're standing around looking confused. There's a difference.

I was once in King's Cross underground station in London on the Piccadilly line platform when I saw a blind man ahead of me on the platform, having just got off the same train I'd got off, looking uncertain uncertain. Everyone was walking, he was standing still frowning. I asked if he needed a hand, and he asked to be directed to the Metropolitan line platform. Now this is by no means an intuitive place to find even if you can see, up several staircases and around several corners, and it happened to be where I was also going. So I said this, and offered my elbow and started walking. Once given the direction, he immediately hared off at top speed, much faster than I can walk, and I had to explain that in fact we were re-enacting a Biblical proverb here...

[minimo.livejournal.com]

Rather than assuming handicapped people are not going somewhere that they are unable to get to alone, I assume they may be depending on small amounts of help from random people that they are certain to encounter along the way.
I often ask "Do you need any help?" And they will often reply something like "Just let me know if this is the last step down."
Maybe they are patronizing *me*? Ha ha!