(no subject)
May. 22nd, 2005 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaAlex gained nine ounces in four days. It's more and more clear that it wasn't a matter of her simply being a small baby by nature, or the growth charts being inappropriate for breastfed babies - she really just wasn't getting enough to eat. She's gained a pound in eleven days since switching to bottle feeding.
Coming off the special feeder on Friday, she hit an enormous eating jag. My parents were here this weekend, fortunately, because I'm not sure I would've had the courage to massively increase her feeding amounts without Mom's supervision. Dr. Sears says that bottle-fed babies should get two to two-and-a-half ounces of formula per pound per day. Alex is currently taking in much, much more than that - more than half again as much. But she wants it, so I'm not arguing.
I think she's going to be so much easier and so much less fussy, now that she's finally getting enough to eat.
I had a weird interaction with my father. He's a retired pediatrician, and he's been making dubious noises about Alex's reflux ever since it was diagnosed. He started right in on it again during their visit. When he was in practice, "reflux was a diagnosis reserved for only a small group of very sick babies who needed extensive treatment, and now it's handed out all over the place."
"Our pediatrician is pretty sure she has reflux, Dad."
"Well, your pediatrician is, in some ways, going along with fashion..."
"And the Zantac has helped a lot - it's like night and day."
"You know, on some level, all babies have reflux, in the sense that they have immature digestive systems. I'm not convinced that, as an illness, it's widespread."
We went on like that for a while. Finally I said to my mother, "The reflux - which Dad doesn't believe in-"
He interrupted me with some force. "I don't like to think of my grandchild as being sick, okay?"
I was stunned. "Is that it? Is that why you've been arguing so much about the diagnosis?
Yes. That was it. That was the only reason. I commented that I felt much better knowing why he was arguing with me, and he was surprised. He had no idea that his questioning my observations and my pediatrician's judgment would be stressful for me. My father is inexplicable.
Overall we had a lovely weekend. We played with the baby and took her for walks and matched her up against my mother's developmental screening datasheets from her job. I am pleased to say that, at six weeks, Alex has mastered all the one month milestones and several of the two month ones. Even though she was starving.
Coming off the special feeder on Friday, she hit an enormous eating jag. My parents were here this weekend, fortunately, because I'm not sure I would've had the courage to massively increase her feeding amounts without Mom's supervision. Dr. Sears says that bottle-fed babies should get two to two-and-a-half ounces of formula per pound per day. Alex is currently taking in much, much more than that - more than half again as much. But she wants it, so I'm not arguing.
I think she's going to be so much easier and so much less fussy, now that she's finally getting enough to eat.
I had a weird interaction with my father. He's a retired pediatrician, and he's been making dubious noises about Alex's reflux ever since it was diagnosed. He started right in on it again during their visit. When he was in practice, "reflux was a diagnosis reserved for only a small group of very sick babies who needed extensive treatment, and now it's handed out all over the place."
"Our pediatrician is pretty sure she has reflux, Dad."
"Well, your pediatrician is, in some ways, going along with fashion..."
"And the Zantac has helped a lot - it's like night and day."
"You know, on some level, all babies have reflux, in the sense that they have immature digestive systems. I'm not convinced that, as an illness, it's widespread."
We went on like that for a while. Finally I said to my mother, "The reflux - which Dad doesn't believe in-"
He interrupted me with some force. "I don't like to think of my grandchild as being sick, okay?"
I was stunned. "Is that it? Is that why you've been arguing so much about the diagnosis?
Yes. That was it. That was the only reason. I commented that I felt much better knowing why he was arguing with me, and he was surprised. He had no idea that his questioning my observations and my pediatrician's judgment would be stressful for me. My father is inexplicable.
Overall we had a lovely weekend. We played with the baby and took her for walks and matched her up against my mother's developmental screening datasheets from her job. I am pleased to say that, at six weeks, Alex has mastered all the one month milestones and several of the two month ones. Even though she was starving.
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 07:15 pm (UTC)Good for Alex and the eating! Yay!
-J
Reflux
Date: 2005-05-22 07:19 pm (UTC)I'm not surprised Alex has mastered her milestones early - her new-baby photos were *very* unusually alert. The only other baby I've seen that I thought looked that alert was my own, and there's bound to be some maternal bias at work there.
I'm glad it's getting better. For everyone's sake.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 07:24 pm (UTC)Parents are inexplicable. Though I have found they become slightly more explicable once they become grandparents.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 07:42 pm (UTC)Maybe your dad was so forceful because after having been through major medical stuff with you, he doesn't want to go through that again with your daughter. I'm sure it's obviously Not The Same, but maybe emotionally, it sort of is for him.
K.
Reflux
Date: 2005-05-22 08:14 pm (UTC)But recently I read a really fascinating article in Scientific American that talks about the increase in reflux disease in both adults and children, and links it back to the decrease in the H. Pylori bacteria. H. Pylori is best known for causing ulcers, but apparently the way it acts in the gut actually provides protection against the over production of acid which can lead to reflux. Increased hygiene has lowered the transmission of H. Pylori from person to person, so while ulcers are declining, reflux is on the rise. They're investigating therapies to innoculate people with the more benign strands of H. Pylori.
Maybe your father should hunt down some journal articles.
Six weeks is classic growth spurt time, so it makes sense that Alex is eating a lot. Glad to hear she's doing well and that the Zantac is helping!
Re: Reflux
Date: 2005-05-23 06:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 08:58 pm (UTC)How are you doing, other than boggled at your dad?
no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 10:06 pm (UTC)You got to what was actually going on with him, he and you dealt with it, and he (eventually...) stopped denying your damn reality.
So. Go y'all. And go Alex! It's not your birthday, it's your growthday!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 10:49 pm (UTC)B
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 12:21 am (UTC)I can really sympathize with your dad (even as I scold him for making you cope with his neurotic wibbling.) Denial is a normal part of grief, right? Especially since "reflux" meant "very sick baby" when he was practicing.
It's true that reflux is getting diagnosed more now that we have a better drug to treat it. Pediatricians still take care to distinguish between a health problem and a laundry problem.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 12:43 am (UTC)We love and support you. And if some ill-mannered person should happen to suggest that you might be doing something inappropriate? We'll annihilate them! Nuclear option to the forefront!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 01:19 am (UTC)Exactly right. The girl's got some catching up to do, after all. She'll let you know when she's hungry, and she'll let you know when she's full, too. Babies are handy that way.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 02:40 am (UTC)P.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:14 am (UTC)helpful
Date: 2005-05-23 01:13 pm (UTC)I think, it makes sense to do some more thinking about reflux. I would base this upon (a)Alex's original feeding difficulties and (b)the recent feeding changes that have resulted in less fussiness and an increase in consumption and weight.
New babies are notoriously hard to read, and a reflux cry and a still-a-bit hungry baby cry would be difficult for even an expert to sort out at the beginning. You are a great mother, and feeling the confidence to consider reasonable observations and advice that may differ from your own is part of being a great mother. Mothers are not bad mothers if they need to regroup or change their original hypotheses. Mothers actually have to do this all the time, just like you did when you stopped breastfeeding. It does not reflect poorly on you or your judgement at all. I am sure your father meant well. You are an intelligent and responsive mother.
Re: helpful
Date: 2005-05-23 04:58 pm (UTC)Re: helpful
Date: 2005-05-24 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-24 01:57 pm (UTC)BTW, I have recommended these two books already, haven't I? If not, take note: these two were the most helpful to me in making my transition to being a parent:
When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples by Carolyn Cowan and Philip Cowan and The Transition to Parenthood by Jay Belsky and John Kelly. Both were very helpful in helping me understand why my relationship with my parents and husband changed because of the baby. Lots of insight, v. encouraging. Also good at helping me ward of potential problems.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-24 01:58 pm (UTC)