Ohmygodbabystillsick.

[rivka]

Alex has had diarrhea eight times since midnight. She's also drunk more fluids since midnight than she normally gets in 24 hours, because I don't know what else to do but keep pouring Pedialyte into her. She's more or less okay as long as I don't move further than an arm's length away; by preference, that's her arm's length. Every time I get up to dispose of a dirty diaper she bursts into tears, even though I'm only moving about eight feet away. I know how she feels. I've been bursting into tears a lot myself.

I don't know how long she can go on just Pedialyte, which is electrolyte-balanced but has minimal calories. We tried to re-introduce formula by mixing it half-and-half with even yet still more Pedialyte, but it seemed to aggravate her bowels. Then again, she hasn't had a drop of formula since 4am and she's still having diarrhea every hour, so I'm not sure how much worse it could be.

I have a call in to her doctor. I know he's supposed to leave town this afternoon for Thanksgiving. I assume that he will return calls after his morning clinic, but that depends on the irritable person who took my message this morning actually giving it to him.

In less than 24 hours we're supposed to get on a plane. We are going to stay with someone who is immunocompromised. I have no idea if that's safe. I have no idea how we're going to manage a sick, stressed-out baby in unfamiliar surroundings crowded with relatives who will want to get up in her face. I have no idea when I'm going to pack. If Michael's father weren't so ill, I would be at the point of suggesting that he go to Memphis alone, and leave me here to nurse the baby back to health. But this may be the last time her grandfather will ever see her.

Did I say eight times since midnight? Now it's nine times. Her diaper rash is so awful that I can't even think of anything to compare it to.

I just don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can do this at all.

Update: Talked to the pediatrician and cried all over him. He says that as long as Alex stays hydrated - and he thinks I deserve an Oral Hydration Award for the amount I poured into her yesterday - she is in no medical danger from continuing to poop this much. Better out than in, was his opinion. He said that I might as well go back to formula, since she's still having so much diarrhea on Pedialyte. We can try a lactose-free formula. Travel should not be harmful to Alex.

He wanted us to check with my father-in-law's oncologist about whether Alex would be harmful to him; ordinarily anyone not changing her diapers should be fine, but he wouldn't recommend visiting someone who is severely immunocompromised. We had already hit on the idea of calling the oncologist. Reportedly, Michael's father should be fine as long as he avoids prolonged direct contact. Michael's father got very upset at the idea that we might not come.

Comments

[guruwench.livejournal.com]

Oh, no - *hugshugshugs* and more *hugs*. I hope things get better for all of you very, very soon.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

Many *hugs* - and thinking of you all.

[eeyorerin]

Oh, dear.

I hope things get better as quickly as possible.

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I hope your poor baby feels better very soon, and that the doctor calls back ASAP.

I hate to say it, but I don't think you should make the trip. Sick baby, airplane, unfamiliar surroundings, holiday weekend--it adds up to a very bad scenario. While staying home with her might not be what you hoped for, it beats winding up in an emergency room at midnight. And if Michael's father is the one with the compromised immune system, given the baby's illness and the fact that she won't want to be held by her grandpa and coo at him charmingly but will instead shriek for mama--the visit won't be good for either of them.

I'm so sorry for you, and for Alex. Hang in there. *hugs*

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I just don't know.

It's occurred to me, of course. But I think it can probably be arranged so that Alex and her grandfather are the ones who suffer least from the arrangements. She is actually happy enough as long as she is close close close to Mommy, and we can do that with the sling while we travel. And once we get there we can just camp quietly out in a corner being Close To Mommy in Poppy's view. We don't have to do things like visit other relatives.

We had to mention it to Michael's dad, of course, because we needed him to check on advisability with his oncologist. And now that we have mentioned it, we know exactly how upset he'll be if we don't come. It would be hard for me to do that to a dying man.

[zeldajean.livejournal.com]

I think you should go. You've taken all necessary steps to ensure that travel is safe for Alex and that the visit is safe for Poppy. I think travelling in the sling and spending time Close to Mommy in Poppy's View are both excellent. As is not visiting other relatives (increases time with Poppy and decreases stress on, well, everyone. Except maybe the relatives that want to see her, but they should understand. Besides, you'll be back later.)

I definitely think you should go. Whether you stay with Michael's parents or elsewhere is up to you, but definitely go, and enjoy what time you all have together.

Oh, and pack extra everything for Alex. Especially diapers and diaper rash stuff. :)

Have fun!

(I know I'm usually pretty quiet, but I do read and had to comment here, especially in light of my opinion apparently being in the minority.)

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Nope, I agree too. The flight might be a real pain in the ass, but germs or no germs, Poppy will be happier with her there.

[ailbhe]

I think you have to go :( I know we really had to go and see Rob's grandmother when I wasn't fit to fly and Linnea was 3 months old, and however stupid we knew it was, we had to go. I didn't go to the funeral, because, well, she was dead by then, and it wasn't quite as important.

Consider asking the doctor for something to help Alex sleep through the flights - flying, especially landing, with an upset stomach can be *agonising*, because of the pressure changes, and there might be something she would be able to effectively ingest.

Other than that, wow, I have no useful suggestions you won't already have thought of. I can only offer sympathy and condolences and good luck wishes. And enough sleep that you can enunciate "No, she's too ill to visit anyone else, she's here to see Poppy," whenever that is necessary.

I don't even know whether you're better off telling the air steward(esse)s that she's ill beforehand - they might not let her fly if you do. But they might be extra helpful.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

oh honey.

suggestions follow: stop reading now if you're not up for them.


can you call michael's dad and let him make the decision? he's the one who might not get to see her again and also the one who is immunocompromised.

also, is it possible for you to stay in a hotel, instead? the local super-8 or whatever? less relatives in her face, less exposure to immunocompromised people, less exposure to new people with new germs that she might catch.

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

Already called him, and he's fine with the idea of us coming -- nay, insistent, even. We're going to negotiate the hotel idea when we get down there, as that was strongly resisted when it was first brought up. The intestinal issues are a complicating factor, to be sure, though.

[selki.livejournal.com]

I think szandara may be right.

If you end up staying home and Michael goes, and if you want me to stop by for a couple of hours tomorrow on my way north, for moral support or anything, let me know.

Hugs.

Hospital? Urgent care clinic?

More hugs.

[tammylc.livejournal.com]

I agree with szandara and selki. I can tell that you feel really strongly about going, because you're still considering it with a baby that sick. But I think it would be a nightmare for all of you.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rivka. What a horrible situation to be in.

*long hug*

-J

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

Oh, god. I'm so sorry you all are going through this, what a nightmare. Vibes are all I can give you, so I'm sending them in waves.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Oh no. Hugs and prayers for all four of you.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord, that is horrible. The whole thing. Poor baby. Poor mommy. *cuddles* for everyone.

How long will you be stuck in airports & on the plane for?

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

Our trip down is, thankfully, a direct flight that will last about 90 minutes. We'll have to change planes coming back, but hopefully, Alex will be feeling better by then. We're going to make powerful efforts to minimize our time waiting in the airports -- I've already reserved a spot in a parking facility that provides a direct shuttle to the terminal, and a ride will be waiting for us at the other end with a rear-facing (yes, rivka, that has been explicitly confirmed) car seat for the baby.

We'll probably all need a drink or three by the time we get to Dad's house, I expect.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

You forgot the time zone change, love, so it's actually a 2.5-hour flight. But that's still not so bad. (Incidentally, when I tried to pull up Memphis weather on weather.com they gave me a big link to "check the ski forecast!!" I never knew that was part of the Memphis draw...)

Thank you for checking on the carseat, and go Lily.

[porcinea.livejournal.com]

Oh, fuck. 2.5 hours. You poor thing.

Have a bottle in hand during take-off and landing --- she'll need it for the pressure changes, and you don't want to be digging for it when the screaming starts.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetheart...

Not that there's much I can do, but if there's anything I can do to help please let me know.

I hope she gets better soon. I'll be hoping for the best for all of you.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

Whatever you decide, I hope poor Alex gets better soon.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, how horrible. *hugs* I know you're in a difficult position. I hope she gets better soon *hugs*

[nolly.livejournal.com]

*hugs offerered*

May it go as well as it possibly can.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. That sounds distinctly awful and heartwrenching in all directions.

You'll be in my thoughts, all of you.

[saoba.livejournal.com]

First, gentle hugs all around and I'm sorry this has happened. Frazzled and tired and worried is not a holiday frame of mind.

Next, I had to make a similar choice many years ago when my grandfather was dying. In the end finances kept me from going. I still regret it, I still have the infrequent but vivid dream about that week. My son was far too little to remember any of it later.

If Alex's most excellent doctor and your FIL's doctor say it should be alright I would go. I know it will be stressful and hard and I wish I could whisk down there and go along just for an extra set of hands.

The thing is that the choices seem to be either go and have a tough time giving your FIL something that's important to him or not going and possibly regretting it and 'what if'-ing yourself later.

My .02, based on personal experience.

And more hugs, because it sounds like all of you could use them.

*hug*

[tendyl.livejournal.com]

I can't do much more than send good healing thoughts your way for Alex and energy to you and Michael. I understand needing to go when family is dying. *hug* I will send you good thoughts. Good luck?

[heidi8.livejournal.com]

Stay safe, stay relaxed, and you're doing all the wonderful things she needs. Have a good and healthy holiday.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Aw, darlin', I'm so sorry she's so sick. Please, take care of yourself, and I know it's silly to say it, but try not to worry. You're all in my heart and my prayers.

[ckd]

*hugs* all around, and may you have an easy trip, with any surprises only pleasant ones.

Just checking

[(Anonymous)]

This might be a silly question but ... Is it possible that Alex is allergic to the Pedialyte?

Re: Just checking

[rivka.livejournal.com]

She seems to be fine now, and is still supplementing with Pedialyte until I'm convinced that she's fully hydrated and staying that way. It seems, instead, that in the course of fighting the stomach bug she became temporarily lactose-intolerant. We didn't see any prolonged improvement until she changed to a lactose-free formula.